The WFP is reborn. Yes, into someone who refers to themselves in the third person. What an ASSHOLE!!! No, seriously...large teutonic plates are shifting in the ole noggin. New Jack Swingin' if you will. You thirtysomethings will dig upon the NEW JACK SWING reference. Lemonkid too, probably. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Cliche Cliche Cliche.
"I am a fat fuck. please laugh at me"
I'm getting three x-large t-shirts made up with that slogan. Humiliation is one of my new tactics to drop a bill off of my 300 pound frame. Also employed are two infomercial items stumbled upon during drunken/mushroom introspective hell moments that always seem to pop around the times of self improvement advertisements. One is THE BODY MAKEOVER KIT. The other is SIX SECOND ABS. These two will be great buffers to the main event. The main event will be jogging and walking while being humiliated plus a sensible diet. Now the FAT FUCK t-shirts come into play. Being obese around friends, family, and colleagues is like being the only black guy at the job site. Everyone skirts the issue and makes vague jokes in your presence. Once the doors are closed is when the fat fuck really takes the hammer. My goal is to take that behind the scenes talk and put it in front of my face. I will not let some lame ass, no vision motherfucker have that advantage over me for long. Another humiliating factor being applied is the small sizes of the proposed t-shirts. Two x-larges and one large should suffice. I'm shooting to fit into the x-large by the time school gets back into session. Meanwhile, I'll look like a fucking tub of shit during my various runs and walks. More fucking kerosene soaked logs for the bonfire.
Along with the body improvement will be time management skills. Basically, I'm going to map out my days and fashion time. Eight hours of sleep will be reduced to six to seven. Reading, Guitar, Exercise, Writing, research, lessons, music listening and work will all be given time slots. Network and cable television will not be an option. No more one or two hours here for Comedy Central or VH1 Classic. One of my goals this fall is to take classes at the Second City in Detroit. I believe with my natural abilities and enough research, I can make some scratch in the yuk racket.
Basically, no one in my family has accomplished anything with their stays on this planet. That goes for both sides and a few generations. For some time, this has had no effect on me. I guess the change in attitude comes with a new figure in the WFP universe, (more third person. What's next? Leather pants and Swiss Anal?? Christ in heaven!). It's a forbidden infatuation that I hope to size up to. Maybe with enough effort I can overcome the white trash curse. An object that this particular someone can't resist. Hah! All I needed was some inspiration! Even if that backfires, it will leave me with enough hate and humiliation to improve myself even more!
Oh and this isn't some smoke and mirrors talk. I've already started the jogging/walking with diet and the Ab thing. SG will have some time dedicated of course.
SOUNDTRACK OF THE DAY
SUBARACHNOID SPACE
ELECTRIC LIGHT ORCHESTRA
MARS VOLTA
"I am a fat fuck. please laugh at me"
I'm getting three x-large t-shirts made up with that slogan. Humiliation is one of my new tactics to drop a bill off of my 300 pound frame. Also employed are two infomercial items stumbled upon during drunken/mushroom introspective hell moments that always seem to pop around the times of self improvement advertisements. One is THE BODY MAKEOVER KIT. The other is SIX SECOND ABS. These two will be great buffers to the main event. The main event will be jogging and walking while being humiliated plus a sensible diet. Now the FAT FUCK t-shirts come into play. Being obese around friends, family, and colleagues is like being the only black guy at the job site. Everyone skirts the issue and makes vague jokes in your presence. Once the doors are closed is when the fat fuck really takes the hammer. My goal is to take that behind the scenes talk and put it in front of my face. I will not let some lame ass, no vision motherfucker have that advantage over me for long. Another humiliating factor being applied is the small sizes of the proposed t-shirts. Two x-larges and one large should suffice. I'm shooting to fit into the x-large by the time school gets back into session. Meanwhile, I'll look like a fucking tub of shit during my various runs and walks. More fucking kerosene soaked logs for the bonfire.
Along with the body improvement will be time management skills. Basically, I'm going to map out my days and fashion time. Eight hours of sleep will be reduced to six to seven. Reading, Guitar, Exercise, Writing, research, lessons, music listening and work will all be given time slots. Network and cable television will not be an option. No more one or two hours here for Comedy Central or VH1 Classic. One of my goals this fall is to take classes at the Second City in Detroit. I believe with my natural abilities and enough research, I can make some scratch in the yuk racket.
Basically, no one in my family has accomplished anything with their stays on this planet. That goes for both sides and a few generations. For some time, this has had no effect on me. I guess the change in attitude comes with a new figure in the WFP universe, (more third person. What's next? Leather pants and Swiss Anal?? Christ in heaven!). It's a forbidden infatuation that I hope to size up to. Maybe with enough effort I can overcome the white trash curse. An object that this particular someone can't resist. Hah! All I needed was some inspiration! Even if that backfires, it will leave me with enough hate and humiliation to improve myself even more!
Oh and this isn't some smoke and mirrors talk. I've already started the jogging/walking with diet and the Ab thing. SG will have some time dedicated of course.
SOUNDTRACK OF THE DAY
SUBARACHNOID SPACE
ELECTRIC LIGHT ORCHESTRA
MARS VOLTA
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
Had to quit. The boss was a creep, kept pinching my ass. And the rest is New Wave history.