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whiskeyfightpit

Toledo, Ohio near the Red Ships Of Spain

Member Since 2003

Followers 30 Following 28

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Tuesday May 18, 2004

May 18, 2004
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Winding hours. More stench. More desperation. Dwindling Sales. Soaring gasoline prices. No money. No ladyfriend. Few people to identify with. No god. Poor food.

All of that nonsense isn't going to keep me down, though! Music steps in and makes everything all right. Like it usually does. When life hands me a Raw Deal (like the Ahnold movie) I dive right into music. Here are some brief descriptions of bands I like:

THE HUNCHES: An old VHS copy of a carpet-bombed village ran through a vacuum cleaner.

FLUX INFORMATION SCIENCES: A fascist nightmare where the nuns won't rape you without tin foil and a drum machine.

JANDEK: The spirit taking a handful of barbituates after it leaves the body of a suicide. Probably in the spring, no less.

THE SWANS: The pistons to a giant oil-drilling machine being sent back and forth between Hell and Texas because the paperwork keeps getting screwed up. How can you start your sentence with mishandled paperwork?

NAPALM DEATH: Some pitbulls fucked around and chewed up some expired speed and a few Chomsky books. All in all around 20,000 dollars worth of damage.

THE LOCUST: The soundtrack to both MUTANT LEAGUE FOOTBALL and MUTANT LEAGUE HOCKEY for the Sega Genesis over and over again until you realise your full potential as an American and a man.

FANTOMAS: Chim Cham

BIG BLACK: Robert Carradine being injected with a badger's adrenal glands while trapped in a garden of sheet metal. All of this business is developing outside of a VFW post. Get it?

Ahhh....The Fender Jazzmaster. I love you. I just plug you into some reverb and a Tube Screamer and the fun begins. Would you like to hear some Ventures, baby? Sure you would! The bills and food can all take a back seat to you, oh master of tone! With enough time, we can conquer the entire Man Or Astroman catalogue!!!

1) How would you describe Bill Murray's character from Ed Wood to a church group filled with no one younger than 74?

2) What kind of sexual fantasies have you been having lately?

3) Would you give blood plasma to go see Acid Mothers Temple and why?

4) How do you feel about Rocket from the Tombs regrouping and touring?

5) Who wrote the book of love?

I apologize for the lack of an inspirational post.

SOUNDTRACK OF THE DAY
Michael Viner's Incredible Bongo Band "Bongo Rock"
Syl Johnson "Is It Because I'm Black?"
Pere Ubu "Heart Of Darkness"
Leonard Cohen "Death Of A Ladies Man"
Bernard Herrman "Obsession OMPS"
eeek eeek EL SUICIDO LOCO ooo aaa robot

GO BANANAS!!!
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
cheech:
I think Napalm Death would sell more records if they were Napalm Life. You just have to tweak it a little.

1. Like Tony Randall in Love, Sidney, only paler.

2. I've been thinking a lot about me, Paris Hilton, and Eddie Money.

3. I would rather see Eddie Money.

4. I would go see Rocket From the Tombs if Peter Laughner's place was taken by the back-up singer in Frankie Goes to Hollywood and Eddie Money.

5. I know you're expecting me to say "Eddie Money," but no, it was Estelle Getty.
May 19, 2004
johnnyxcliche:
I dig the brief descriptions of the bands...very descriptive...and Cleftones references are always dandy...now if you can tell me the lyrics to Hot Rod Lincoln, I'll be your bestest friend...
May 19, 2004

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