Might not be on the site till Sunday. Denver trip is coming up early Thursday morning. Fucker will cut into my drone time. Plane leaves at six AM. Most nights have me sitting up till around that time listening to the dryer or the fridge waiting for a change up. Patience is a great thing. As I get older, I understand this more and more. If we hopped in the DeLorean and set it back to 1995...I would still be listening to Pink Floyd, Alice In Chains, U2, and some other run of the mill business. Don't get me wrong, I had some hip shit on the headphones, too. Funkadelic "Maggot Brain", David Bowie "Low", Stooges "Fun House", New York Dolls "Paris Le Trash" plus some kinda indie rock. If someone had slipped me some Can, Ash Ra Temple, Derek Bailey, or Einstruzende Neubauten....I would have dismissed it. This is the grudge I hold to all of the old standbys and radio rock. It puts you in a plaster cast and wont let you break free. I would take albums like ACHTUNG BABY and The Verve's URBAN HYMNS and set templates for my tastes. Thank god I'm growing patience as well as an open mind. Not to try and sound like I'm some uber-rooster in the hen-house but I feel like I'm leaving alot of people behind around here. Old friends from the 1995-2000 WhiskeyFIghtPit era are still doing salmon flips in that time period. When I take the time to catch up with these folks it's like I'm talking to an old Russian lady. Everything degenerates into THE GOOD OLE DAYS topics. Analyzing yourself while your operating in THE GOOD OLE DAYS mode is depressing to the point of suicidal thoughts.
HAS IT ALL CAME TO THIS?
WHY CAN'T I FIND COMMON GROUND WITH THESE PEOPLE?
DO THEY THINK I'M SOME KIND OF ASSHOLE FOR HAVING VERY LITTLE TO SAY TO THEM?
WILL THEY THINK SOMETHING IS WRONG BECAUSE I'M NO LONGER THE SOCIAL BUTTERFLY/GOOD OLE BOY THEY USED TO KNOW?
WHAT KIND OF JOKE WILL THEY FIND FUNNY?
I try real hard to not be pretentious or condescending to everyone. This gets really hard when I have nothing outside of everyday pleasantries. Sometimes I wish that I was just like my old friends. Sports, Construction jobs, dart tournaments, Lots of Coors Light, and other pastimes that a majority can enjoy. Being in a noise band is the most difficult part. They seem to show some interest in the band but I keep trying to explain to them that it really isn't something they would get into. I say this because I would hate for them to not have an interesting experience and fell that they have to as a friendly gesture towards me.
"Man, this shit sounds like a broken bandsaw and is driving me fucking bonkers. But we gotta do it for Dusty. Damnit"
I'm also afraid that they might night want to spend time with me if they knew the extent of my left field travels. Music, Politics, Religion, Film. I just want to be the funny kid who was always made you feel welcome but I'm just not that guy anymore. I'm getting hardened. My little suburban membrane was lifted from my mind and all of the garbage is getting in. I yearn to be ignorant and happy again. I want to believe in that little Oregon, Ohio dreamland. Can I pretend we didn't hit the iceberg?
Sterilized, Perfect, Sedate, Functioning, Productive, Questionless, Gregarious, Acceptably Witty. Teaching processed history and coaching offensive linemen for the high school. BA in American History. Minor in English. A two story house ten minutes from the high school. Married to my prom date. Smart children. Two three yeard old automobiles. Summer softball league. Golf on Sundays with former teammates from high school. Social gatherings and showing off all of the earthly blessings. Cute and Semi-Devoted Christian Leanings. ESPN Sportscenter around the clock. Ethan Frome. Topical Vietnam War coverage. Channel One affiliate. Heaven. Bliss. Pictures.
SOUNDTRACK OF THE DAY
Roxy Music "Roxy Music"
Lady, if you want to find love, than you look no further.
It all could have been mine.
HAS IT ALL CAME TO THIS?
WHY CAN'T I FIND COMMON GROUND WITH THESE PEOPLE?
DO THEY THINK I'M SOME KIND OF ASSHOLE FOR HAVING VERY LITTLE TO SAY TO THEM?
WILL THEY THINK SOMETHING IS WRONG BECAUSE I'M NO LONGER THE SOCIAL BUTTERFLY/GOOD OLE BOY THEY USED TO KNOW?
WHAT KIND OF JOKE WILL THEY FIND FUNNY?
I try real hard to not be pretentious or condescending to everyone. This gets really hard when I have nothing outside of everyday pleasantries. Sometimes I wish that I was just like my old friends. Sports, Construction jobs, dart tournaments, Lots of Coors Light, and other pastimes that a majority can enjoy. Being in a noise band is the most difficult part. They seem to show some interest in the band but I keep trying to explain to them that it really isn't something they would get into. I say this because I would hate for them to not have an interesting experience and fell that they have to as a friendly gesture towards me.
"Man, this shit sounds like a broken bandsaw and is driving me fucking bonkers. But we gotta do it for Dusty. Damnit"
I'm also afraid that they might night want to spend time with me if they knew the extent of my left field travels. Music, Politics, Religion, Film. I just want to be the funny kid who was always made you feel welcome but I'm just not that guy anymore. I'm getting hardened. My little suburban membrane was lifted from my mind and all of the garbage is getting in. I yearn to be ignorant and happy again. I want to believe in that little Oregon, Ohio dreamland. Can I pretend we didn't hit the iceberg?
Sterilized, Perfect, Sedate, Functioning, Productive, Questionless, Gregarious, Acceptably Witty. Teaching processed history and coaching offensive linemen for the high school. BA in American History. Minor in English. A two story house ten minutes from the high school. Married to my prom date. Smart children. Two three yeard old automobiles. Summer softball league. Golf on Sundays with former teammates from high school. Social gatherings and showing off all of the earthly blessings. Cute and Semi-Devoted Christian Leanings. ESPN Sportscenter around the clock. Ethan Frome. Topical Vietnam War coverage. Channel One affiliate. Heaven. Bliss. Pictures.
SOUNDTRACK OF THE DAY
Roxy Music "Roxy Music"
Lady, if you want to find love, than you look no further.
It all could have been mine.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
budoviking:
Yep. Mentally (and sometimes physically) alot of people never make 50 miles away from their high school. Which seem sad, but hey, its their fucking life. If they want to waste it with 3 or 4 hours in front of the tube every night and golf, so be it. But there are plenty of us that have never gone it for that. Gotta get out and see, hear, taste, smell and feel this big old world. Life is to be savored; Coors Light tastes like watered down donkey piss, definately NOT in the savor category. 20+ years after the fact, I keep in touch with maybe 2 people from the old days. I did go to my 20th reunion which was pretty hilarious. Most of the guys were bald and overweight and bitched about how their wives wouldn't let them play golf.... Some of the women were definately there to let it be known that they had aged quite well. The women had it all over the men in that respect. Some of them that were total dorks at 16 were total hotties at 40.
junecleavage:
So you're heading to Denver when the coolest inhabitant it ever had no longer lives there (and that would be one coldenginelogix - also known as my main man)...howdy compadre...mix it up right...and get yer ass to Philly brother