whiskeyfightpit

So there are requests for next falls WFPN lineup? We've been locking horns with Colin Powell's nazi son over our content. He's spouting some fascist shit like it's illegal to pay people to get raped in Detroit. I brought up the option of East St. Louis and then security was called. Chances of us even getting a slot on public access is pretty slim. I think I'm being followed. I also was unaware that threatening a government official with a machete and iodine is against the law. I feel you get a better group of citizens if there is constant paranoia. So why not let everyone have the freedom to threaten their fellow citizens with acts of violence? Anyway, here's some possible shows.

BLIXA BARGELD'S HOUSE OF FENG SHUI

Blixa Bargeld, former BAD SEED and Einstruzende Neubauten mainstay gets to gut and re-assemble the homes of American suburbanites. Want your ranch style shithole to look and feel like Spanish Inquisition Den of Torture and Sexual Frustration? Call in Blixa and the boys. Possible Co-Hosts include Linda Carter and those two heffers THE MOMMIES. You know who those cookware hocking lifestyle tramps are, correct?

MICKEY ROURKE PRESENTS EXTREME DOGFIGHTING: WORLD TOUR

Essentially a documentary team follows the eccentric actor to various locales in our fair sphere. Someone finally needs to lend a sympathetic eye to this sport. We're going to need monologues, too. I can try and waste advertising cash to hire Charlie Kaufman to give Rourke some killer ass lines. Or we could just get the bastard hopped up on the wicks inside sinus inhalers and have him read some William Blake to a bunch of gamblers in Saigon. It'll be like "Who the fuck is this crazy yank?".

SHOW US YOUR F.U.P.A. STARRING Dean Cain and Brian Austin Green

Do you all know what FUPA stands for? Fat Upper Private Area. This is a very common siting in scenic East Toledo. One needs not to venture too far outside of K-Marts and Wal-Marts to catch in the glory that is FUPA. Surprisingly, females tend to have the most FUPA per capita. There are some serious vinyl Audiophiles that shop in my store who possess the mighty FUPA. I'm sure the comic book world has their fare share. Essentially, I want to see Dean Cain and Brian Austin Green grabbing, pulling, and massaging the FUPA of America's wasteoids. Music by The Flying Luttenbachers, of course.

That's all I have for you right now. It's been a hectic week with practicing and recording. Tomorrow I'm going to shop around for animal calls. If everything goes as planned, I will also have an improvising dancer at our first gig. For those in the Toledo area it will be Friday Feb. 13th at THE BLACKSTONE which is on Ashland near Collingwood Blvd. All of this is somewhere in the West End of Toledo. Fitting our first show should be on Friday The 13th. They're real lucky I'm putting the money on the improvised dancer instead of the jackhammer from HOME DEPOT. Our follow up show is going to be a more construction worker set, perhaps. Between buying percussion, pedals, costume for the dancer, and deer calls...I'm fairly broke. Jackhammer cost between 40-80 dollars to rent for just a few hours. Home Depot isn't open the wee hours of the evening so I most likely would have to pay for an overnight rental. That is not fucking chump change. Maybe we can steal one off of a construction site? Fuck it, I know people with ban saws and other power tools. We'll just stick with putting a mike on small hand held tools. With Gabe running the sound through his laptop and manipulating sound, we should get something pretty interesting. If not, we'll just not be asked to play again. It is a bar, so I do expect some form of hostility to what we do. Toledo has some cool people but not enough to really make a true improvised music VENUE or scene. At least those that stay strictly in the avant-garde realms. Most of the indie-kids and noise freaks expect SOME form of cohesion in their music. We just don't have anything for anyone that wants tempo, rhythm, hooks, etc.

TELEGRAM SAM, YOU'RE MY MAIN MAN

SOUNDTRACK OF THE DAY
The soundtrack to THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES.

I know I have an obsession with this man and maybe it will pass when I get the NAKED LUNCH Criterion Collection DVD.


Spit it out and organize the gruel at a later date. Perhaps with someone who understands the story process. I've never been good at putting something constructive together. Just pieces of shrapnel that sound decent. Television has completely juxtaposed my thinking process. Can't cultivate any singular idea or project. I'm a walking soundbite. An advertisement for the things I consume. Like yesterday with all of the Mickey Rourke and Blixa Bargeld nonsense. I just regurgitate what I eat, essentially. So, let's roll with it.

MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH
Is that a velvet purse, my boy?
You're so coy
You're so on top of things
The servants are up in arms
It's just an obedience rush, honey
They can't wait to be shackled
It's like a mother's breast
Don't forget to invite the best
Don't neglect the artists
Kick up your heels in this island of silk
A feast of those who deny god
Wine, conversation, and lies
When your time is up
Do you really look upon yourself?
Do you really comprehend your lack of compassion?
Does any of it sink in?
Maybe on the ferry ride?
Not a chance, tiger.
Just fiddle around in the carnival of souls.
Until the world needs some special cruelty.
And again until the end of time
Always with a party