I feel a disaster on the horizon, I get that sometimes. I'm not sure what I'm doing with my life, I feel pretty lonely but don't want much to do with society anyhow. At least not society as a whole. I like people, I really do. I can't think of a single individual that I have a problem with or even any active dislike towards. I have good thoughts and feelings about most everything, I fully appreciate my life. I'm very blessed and lucky, I just don't feel I'm taking advantage of that and giving anything back or even keeping focused on what really matters.. The business mostly runs itself despite me and I find that completely unfullfilling. My life is full of stuff that doesn't really matter at all. Believe me, I like it all, enjoy and I appreciate it, but I think it kinda separates me from the truth. I can't stand sending out bills and cashing checks and constantly having other guys doing a sub-par job with the real work. But then, do I want to hire someone to run the office and I can go back to doing the wrenching in 115 degree heat for 12 hours a day? Not especially. I've fought my whole life back and forth with the idea of putting on a backpack and just leaving and it's looking very appealing again. That would have been a whole lot easier when I rented a place, had one pickup truck and a few records and books. I tell myself that if my place burned down and I had forgotten to pay up my insurance that I'd deal with it fine. In fact I think I might find it a relief. But there's no way I could leave it all of my own volition. Maybe I just need a hippy girlfriend or something.
I do need a career change. I need to make stuff. Aside from having good human relations I feel pretty in touch with society if I'm arranging physical substance into things that perform useful functions. I'm looking into taking some welding classes. There's a really great school here in Vegas that teaches fabrication of high dollar sand cars. I really don't personally care about high dollar sand cars, but aside from the chassis and suspension design, the rest would transfer pretty well to what I'm thinking. I've got a few ideas, my favorite would be an American take on what Rickman, Harris, Spondon, Dresda, and Seely have been doing (or in a couple cases used to do) over in Britain. What they'd do would be to design a lightweight, stylish and great performing frame and/or body for contemporary motorcycles. Nowadays I doubt I'd be bettering performance by taking a sportbike with a modern aluminum frame and making a trellis chromoly tube frame, but I could damn sure improve the looks in a few people's opinions. the other idea would be to weld up more cost-conscious roll bars and frames for VW based dune buggies and baja bugs. maybe even supply pre-bent kits? I think I'd rather try to get into a regular production scenario than to do custom jobs one at a time. I dunno, just thinking out loud. Maybe all I need is a long bike trip. I have a good friend outside of Tahoe I haven't seen for years, maybe I'll give him a ring. I could probably have some motivation rub off on me too, he's running a big glass blowing operation (art glass, not bongs) that he set up from scratch. Aside form doing his own stuff he rents out studio time and teaches glass blowing and even makes ovens, kilns & other necessaries for sale. neat-o! I'm going to Colorado in a few days. Maybe I should cancel the flight home and ride the ZRX. I haven't ridden the damn thing at all this summer when I've been out there. There's always tons of plans and other stuff going on when I'm there. All good stuff, but the rex is the travelling bike and it would be better off here it seems.
Of course whenever I get this way I reach straight for the Kierkegaard, which makes it all 100 times worse. In the unlikely event I make it to Heaven and even more unlikely find him up there spouting his either/ors I'm going to punch him straight in the face.
If you ever see Rachael Nagy ask her if she's still Lookin' For My Baby. If so tell her maybe check Boulder City.
if you like the song the original is by The Nightriders and it's insanely good. It's on a R&B compilation called "Lookey Dookey #1" which is also insanely good as are the rest of the albums in the series. some volumes are called Talkin Trash, but it's the same series.
question: If I edit my blog a bunch of times (like I did this time) does it show up a bunch of times in a row on your MY SG page for freinds blogs? Cause I don't want to be bumping your other friends off or anything.
I've been close to feeling like you are with work before. I am assuming you work for yourself and have guys working for you doing the grunt work while you keep the business end of it working and deal with the customers? I was in that spot, well I worked for somebody else but you get the picture, up until the upheaval at work and I was getting stir crazy and did not even realize it until everything was turned on it's ear and now I am back to turning wrenches most of the day. Surprisingly enough it really livened up my attitude, I feel much better about work now and much happier in general; the the point that when we get up and runnign agian I think I am going to hire a person to do my parts ordering, invoicing and office work before I bring on my first extra mechanic so I get to STAY in the field; it's a much more fulfilling job for me, I'm a little like you seem to to be in that I like to see a product at the end of the day and know I did something.
Both custom and production work are hard to get started in, you have to build a name first. I tried to do it once, and may do it again, but it was rough going and I ended up not being able to make the grade, I did learn a ton though.
Take the welding class, sell the business, take the road trip, move to Colorado, get the hippy girlfriend and buy into Maniacles' motorcycle building business... or compete with him!
I've been close to feeling like you are with work before. I am assuming you work for yourself and have guys working for you doing the grunt work while you keep the business end of it working and deal with the customers? I was in that spot, well I worked for somebody else but you get the picture, up until the upheaval at work and I was getting stir crazy and did not even realize it until everything was turned on it's ear and now I am back to turning wrenches most of the day. Surprisingly enough it really livened up my attitude, I feel much better about work now and much happier in general; the the point that when we get up and runnign agian I think I am going to hire a person to do my parts ordering, invoicing and office work before I bring on my first extra mechanic so I get to STAY in the field; it's a much more fulfilling job for me, I'm a little like you seem to to be in that I like to see a product at the end of the day and know I did something.
Both custom and production work are hard to get started in, you have to build a name first. I tried to do it once, and may do it again, but it was rough going and I ended up not being able to make the grade, I did learn a ton though.
You're my hero, E.