wheezy_e

Ok, you should sit down for this one. I need to set the stage a bit, but rest assured it's not my typical "oh this band is cool" or "oh look what I did to the car/bike" stuff. Bear with me, you'll be glad that you did so long as you don't spit your soda out on your keyboard.

Ok, so months ago when I first started up the mustang I took a video of it running because it's the first motor I built, blah blah blah, and I put it up on youtube mainly so I could show it off to you here. Yesterday I got home from work and among the emails was one from youtube telling me I had a message regarding the "302 start up" video. I log in to youtube & go to my messages & there's one titled: "aweome(sic) video 302 clip." This in itself is odd because the video is the furthest thing from impressive that I've seen on youtube, it's thoroughly ordinary, sub-par actually. So I open it up & here's the contents:

Ok, so I figure it's a kid with an actual question about how to start a car that's been sitting. I couldn't really make sense of the second sentence, I figured the word "record" was chosen in mistake. maybe he got it mixed up with "retard" in regards to timing or whatever and he was again asking what to do to start a car that's been sitting and doesn't want to start. So I write him this: If the carb is dry and you have a mechanical pump rather than electric you can pour about an ounce and a half of fuel down the vent tube of the carb's float bowl(s). It's either that or just keep cranking until the pump fills the carb up." And I hope the kid doesn't catch himself on fire taking my advice.

Today I get home and there's another question from the same guy, here's the contents:

So now I just think the guy is retarded or something. (pardon my insensitivity, I do need work on that). I'm all set to send off a cheery "go piss at the wind or something, why would I waste my time like that?" But just out of curiosity I go check out the videos he has posted. This is the part where you sit down and/or swallow your beverage. The guy has a fetish that has something to do with hard to start automobiles. Also feet, but mostly if they are pumping the gas pedal of a hard to start car. I'm not joking at all, check it out:


This first one doesn't seem so odd, since it's all snowed in and cold. His friends' comments are a little odd though, like

You don't need to watch the whole thing, just skip through - the next ones are better but this is his first:



Ok, this one is better, the suspense builds and the guy seems as creepy as a guy with a funny benign fetish could be. Listen closely to him talking to himself in the begining and looking around anxiously and swearing when it appears the battery will give out before it starts. Oh yeah -and he labels the video with "The truck hasn't been started for two months!" like that's an awesome thing, which to him it is. Because who knows if it will start or not, it's so exciting!



Are you spellbound yet? Because it gets better.
The next is more of the same, no real need to watch it, but a couple times when it just begins to fire up he shuts it off to you know, extend the climax a while. What is REALLY good about this video is the comments though, the gems are posted below it:

and here's jeremy's reply to his kindred spirits and the smart alecs who tell him to try peeing on the battery and whatnot:

There are more cold starting videos, but really if you've seen one you've pretty much seen 'em all. I sure do feel sorry for his truck, the poor thing. Who says that pornography is victimless?
Quite a bit creepier is Jeremy's secret camera videos of women's feet. Stick to the cold truck porn Jeremy, it won't put you in jail or get you hit in the head. I'm so intrigued that I would actually consider making a video of the car trying to start, except that I'd have to be a total smart ass and make something startling happen to scare the shit out of Jeremy. Like something with a bloody severed foot maybe.