several weeks ago i got extremly drunk and did something extremly stupid......i was thinking though, that i've done loads of stupid shit, and that this particular incident hardly ranked as #1......so heres a few stupid things i've done, you tell me which was the dumbest....
1- I smoked alot of pot when i was 14, my father didn't like this. One day i come home from school to find my newly purchased bowl and a quarter of bud in the hands of my dad, he simply would not give them back. The next day was a Saturday and i knew he'd be going to work. To boycott dad's anti-mind expanding campaign, i collected canned food and water, several buckets, nails, wood and a ounce of seedy bud. I nailed the door shut and barracaded it with furniture....i was not coming out till my bowl and bud were set free. This peacefull protest lasted 2 days.....it played out like you would expect it to. The cops came and pulled the circuit breaker for my bedroom, leaving me in the dark and without music....until i found batteries.....next they tried to reason me out......next they tried to break down the door with their shoulders. After those attempts at extraction failed, they called in the fire department, who climbed on the room and attempted entry through the window....i took several ROAD CONTRUCTION signs i had stolen and nailed them over the windows. Finally, they brought in the battering ram...which make easy work out of the solid pine door......i spent a week in pee-wee prison for that.
2- I don't remember this story, it was told to me afterwards....Being absolutely black out drunk, i went with my old room mate and brother to a fairly seedy bar at around 2 in the morning. Two very large gentlemen were in the midst of fighting when i decided i would play peacemaker. From what im told i approached them and began mumbling and patting them on the backs....seeing that i was obviously out of mind, they ignored me and all three of us stumbled out into the street where they began fighting. Apparently, one of the fighter's girlfriend saw i was trying to talk to them and assumed i was part of the fight, she began to beat the shit out of me......i have no recollection of this....thank god.
3-Being rather buzzed, i decided it would be a great idea to play with a gun.....what resulted was a hole in my roof.
4- Coming from the bar at closing time, i drove 5 miles perfectly.....without calamity. When i hit my street the Wild Turkey and xanax began to take its toll on me. Deciding 70 mph was a good idea, i gunned it. By the time i knew it i was infront of my house, i slammed on the brakes and my car fishtails, i crash into a ditch DIRECTLY infront of my house. Stumbling in the middle of street, the cops came quick and i was dead to rights. When they released me, the xanax i ate in the back of the cop car ( all 4 bars ) were really hitting me hard. I was dropped off at home....where me, my brother, and my neighbor drank and drank. I don't remember eating another 9 bars of xanax, but apparently i did. I woke up in the hospital covered in liquid charcoal and strapped to the bed. They called it a attempted suicide.....i tried to reason with them that i wasn't suicidal, just stupid........apparently they're one in the same.
5- Waking up with a pounding headache.....i look around and don't recognize where i am, it's an apartment....but i've never been here. My eyes clear and i see that everything that could possibly be broken in this room........is. Asking myself, "Did i do this?"......i didn't wait around to find out.
6- I used to grow pot in a apartment awhile back. Because i had roommates, i locked my bedroom door. Again, being very drunk i misplace the keys to my bedroom. I really want to go to bed, searching through my car frantically results in no keys......but i do find my buddy's gun. Stumbling into the apartment with a gun in hand, my brother asks what i planned on doing with it. I told him i was going to shoot down my fucking door. Being slightly more sober than myself, he realizes this is not a good idea.
"Wow, is that a glock?" he says
"yup, you wanna see?", i ask as i hand him the gun. He then proceeds to empty the gun of its bullets.
"What the fuck!! just give it to me asshole!" i say....he gives back the gun and i scoff, "HA! there's still one in the chamber!"
"not uh", he says "lettme see"
"fine! see for yourself" i handed the gun back to him and proceeds to remove the last bullet
"fuck" i say
im tired of typing....but theres plenty more
1- I smoked alot of pot when i was 14, my father didn't like this. One day i come home from school to find my newly purchased bowl and a quarter of bud in the hands of my dad, he simply would not give them back. The next day was a Saturday and i knew he'd be going to work. To boycott dad's anti-mind expanding campaign, i collected canned food and water, several buckets, nails, wood and a ounce of seedy bud. I nailed the door shut and barracaded it with furniture....i was not coming out till my bowl and bud were set free. This peacefull protest lasted 2 days.....it played out like you would expect it to. The cops came and pulled the circuit breaker for my bedroom, leaving me in the dark and without music....until i found batteries.....next they tried to reason me out......next they tried to break down the door with their shoulders. After those attempts at extraction failed, they called in the fire department, who climbed on the room and attempted entry through the window....i took several ROAD CONTRUCTION signs i had stolen and nailed them over the windows. Finally, they brought in the battering ram...which make easy work out of the solid pine door......i spent a week in pee-wee prison for that.
2- I don't remember this story, it was told to me afterwards....Being absolutely black out drunk, i went with my old room mate and brother to a fairly seedy bar at around 2 in the morning. Two very large gentlemen were in the midst of fighting when i decided i would play peacemaker. From what im told i approached them and began mumbling and patting them on the backs....seeing that i was obviously out of mind, they ignored me and all three of us stumbled out into the street where they began fighting. Apparently, one of the fighter's girlfriend saw i was trying to talk to them and assumed i was part of the fight, she began to beat the shit out of me......i have no recollection of this....thank god.
3-Being rather buzzed, i decided it would be a great idea to play with a gun.....what resulted was a hole in my roof.
4- Coming from the bar at closing time, i drove 5 miles perfectly.....without calamity. When i hit my street the Wild Turkey and xanax began to take its toll on me. Deciding 70 mph was a good idea, i gunned it. By the time i knew it i was infront of my house, i slammed on the brakes and my car fishtails, i crash into a ditch DIRECTLY infront of my house. Stumbling in the middle of street, the cops came quick and i was dead to rights. When they released me, the xanax i ate in the back of the cop car ( all 4 bars ) were really hitting me hard. I was dropped off at home....where me, my brother, and my neighbor drank and drank. I don't remember eating another 9 bars of xanax, but apparently i did. I woke up in the hospital covered in liquid charcoal and strapped to the bed. They called it a attempted suicide.....i tried to reason with them that i wasn't suicidal, just stupid........apparently they're one in the same.
5- Waking up with a pounding headache.....i look around and don't recognize where i am, it's an apartment....but i've never been here. My eyes clear and i see that everything that could possibly be broken in this room........is. Asking myself, "Did i do this?"......i didn't wait around to find out.
6- I used to grow pot in a apartment awhile back. Because i had roommates, i locked my bedroom door. Again, being very drunk i misplace the keys to my bedroom. I really want to go to bed, searching through my car frantically results in no keys......but i do find my buddy's gun. Stumbling into the apartment with a gun in hand, my brother asks what i planned on doing with it. I told him i was going to shoot down my fucking door. Being slightly more sober than myself, he realizes this is not a good idea.
"Wow, is that a glock?" he says
"yup, you wanna see?", i ask as i hand him the gun. He then proceeds to empty the gun of its bullets.
"What the fuck!! just give it to me asshole!" i say....he gives back the gun and i scoff, "HA! there's still one in the chamber!"
"not uh", he says "lettme see"
"fine! see for yourself" i handed the gun back to him and proceeds to remove the last bullet
"fuck" i say
im tired of typing....but theres plenty more
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
nay_____:
wow. you're quite the idiot.
foolish_hyena:
These make me laugh sir which is never a bad thing