I know this would be better as a response in another's journal but its one to write here for various reasons too.
Of course I read my journal. Its a place to bitch when something is bothering me but it also holds answers. I read what I have written from time to time and question where I am and what I'm doing. Sure there are plenty of choices I could make, and obviously I have chosen this particular path. There are parts of me that don't feel I can yet walk away for one reason or another. Doesn't mean it doesn't get tough or I don't get pissed. Doesn't mean I don't wonder why my life IS such a roller-coaster.
*shrug* and what can you think? Anne and I have worked through a lot and are closer than we ever have. The idiot is about gone after doing exactly as I figured he would and blowing every chance he had to hell. I just wonder still why I go through all of this. It makes me question a lot.
As for others' journals, *shrug*...as you can probably tell if you have read all of my entries, I haven't always been in a wildly social mood.
Of course I read my journal. Its a place to bitch when something is bothering me but it also holds answers. I read what I have written from time to time and question where I am and what I'm doing. Sure there are plenty of choices I could make, and obviously I have chosen this particular path. There are parts of me that don't feel I can yet walk away for one reason or another. Doesn't mean it doesn't get tough or I don't get pissed. Doesn't mean I don't wonder why my life IS such a roller-coaster.
*shrug* and what can you think? Anne and I have worked through a lot and are closer than we ever have. The idiot is about gone after doing exactly as I figured he would and blowing every chance he had to hell. I just wonder still why I go through all of this. It makes me question a lot.
As for others' journals, *shrug*...as you can probably tell if you have read all of my entries, I haven't always been in a wildly social mood.
I did end up going to the concert but didn't have quite the fun I would have had I gone with someone who enjoyed hte music as much as I did. Oh well.
I hope it didn't seem like I was coming down on you in my comment to you. I truly believe you love her and that love exists between you both. I just got out of a 6 year relationship in May and know how difficult change can be. The ups and downs. I think you are amazing for thinking of her happiness first but in the end, you have to think of you or the resentment will eat you alive. I know I know nothing. I just wish you the best and could feel the pain when you spoke of it. It's a long time to be in pain. Life's short.
Find a way to be happy, we are all responsible for our own happiness and the task is daunting at times.
My ex followed me on last year and has been lurking ever since. I changed from WTF to my current name in an attempt to hide and think, post and rant freey to no avail. I even tried to befriend him. I didn't think it was fair he could come here and read what I was thinking and feeling and then clam up when I wanted to talk in the real world. The messed up thing is I believe once you really love someone, you always will to some extent.
If someone says of an ex, "I don't care if they live or die" that's usually a case that they are not over the other person. There's still some passion there. The whole thin line between love and hate. I wish nothing but the best for my ex.
Going back into the dating pool after 6 years is daunting. Especially after shutting down inside to survive and make the changes I needed to make to move on. Sometimes I look back to the last year and don't recognize myself. Which in a way is a good thing. I'm happier now. Unsure of the path at times, but it's my path to make and take.