i got real fucking mad saturday night. i said a bunch of shit on my livejournal that i don't really mean, used an epithet i don't really like using when referring to women and i feel guilty. but i'm keeping it on the page, because i said it, and i can't sugarcoat myself there, at least not consciously.
if the noise goes away when i imagine you aren't there, i can take the reality for just a little while longer until it stops feeling good, you can make pretend and i'll believe everything is fine, once was enough, right? the cuts start shrieking and i'm kept closed, i used to be outspoken, only in words i can disengage from, you can believe this,... Read More
They're starting to recognize me at Magic Gardens, something I'd never have expected in days past and yet, now comes as a relief. I'm beginning to default there now, the comfortable lights and windowless walls more relaxing than a lot of places, save for the Boiler Room, inexplicably still the home it always was.
Viva was dancing and was in a noticably chipper mood upon... Read More
I was gone because my wireless card stopped working. I was pissed (I had only used it for one day) until I realized there were simply a couple prongs in my cardbus slot thing that were bent in a way that would prevent the card from being recognized. So I bent the fuckers back in shape.
The hirvimukki (is that spelled right? I forget the Finnish words sometimes) makes the coffee go down quicker, but in smaller doses, so I consider it safe enough to take one cupful every few days or so.
I'd kicked coffee out of the diet for as long as a week and half, but stress and the need for something to make the day pass quicker... Read More
I love this town when it's cool outside, just comfortable enough for me to wear pants and still get away with a t-shirt. Today's pants are white, thin cotton pants with navy blue stitching. The white is really more an off-white almost khaki that looked darker in the store surrounded by khakis and pre-faded blue jeans. I bought them giving little mind to their cut;... Read More