a glimpse of monday.
Staring at the stage at Dante's, hating the cigarette smoke in the air, I endured (ex-)girlfriend's sister's seemingly limitless energy and tried not to hate myself for allowing her within a fucking meter of me.
Every inch of me said I was a fool, but that was only the solid part--the other parts sat idle and, thus, so did my body. I wanted to leave, even though I was desperate to have a good time, wanting to get the fuck away from Heather and Chelsea (the former of which attempting conversation whose sincerity I doubted and, thus, dismissed) and actually have a conversation with (ex-)g, wanting to know but realizing I could and can never, ever believe a word she says. And it was that realization that made me all the more motionless, it let the loss sink in a bit more. Played you like piano keys, it/I said, fucking destroyed you and made you nothing again.
Zero is real again, zero is empty and gone, call it infinite but never called.
Staring at the stage at Dante's, hating the cigarette smoke in the air, I endured (ex-)girlfriend's sister's seemingly limitless energy and tried not to hate myself for allowing her within a fucking meter of me.
Every inch of me said I was a fool, but that was only the solid part--the other parts sat idle and, thus, so did my body. I wanted to leave, even though I was desperate to have a good time, wanting to get the fuck away from Heather and Chelsea (the former of which attempting conversation whose sincerity I doubted and, thus, dismissed) and actually have a conversation with (ex-)g, wanting to know but realizing I could and can never, ever believe a word she says. And it was that realization that made me all the more motionless, it let the loss sink in a bit more. Played you like piano keys, it/I said, fucking destroyed you and made you nothing again.
Zero is real again, zero is empty and gone, call it infinite but never called.