Denying myself coffee today, I use Cherry Coke instead, letting the discomfort set into my teeth as I let a perfectly gorgeous cloudy day go to waste.
As I waste all days, actually.
My left knee is being stubborn, refusing to remain comfortable when bent for lengthy periods of time. When in motion, there's only a slight discomfort, but sitting down is a new, bizarre kind of discomfort, wrapping around my patella and making it all feel sore and throbbing.
Cartilege, perhaps, but without medical insurance, I'll never know.
I got the call last night, asking if I was going out, and I couldn't, I didn't want to be around smoke and alcohol, I'd found my bass and was determined to learn "Fire Back About Your New Baby's Sex" by ear, now that the walks up and down the fretboard weren't as daunting or unfamiliar as they once had been. I answered noncommittally and my voice sounded disconnected, as it usually does when I'm busy or stressed or depressed (or, in this case, all three).
"So," she seemed to spit, "I hear your new...girlfriend is our friend's ex."
I chuckled, expecting the subject and nonetheless disliking it. "That's what I hear," I reply. "Only goes to show you how incestuous our social scenes are."
I was gritting my teeth by then, gritting them when she smirked at how odd it was that I, so determined to not be in a relationship, suddenly found myself in one, gritting them when she said she was making me feel uncomfortable and gritting them when she mentioned that she thought it would be nice to hang out with me.
I'd gotten the message a couple days earlier, mutual friends had run into Girlfriend and had done the expected, "Darryl said this, Darryl said that," filtered and filtered again through second hands and heresay. I don't know how much of it was true, I'd like to think all of it was, but it warranted another rehashing of events, although it supposedly didn't.
I went through it again with Girlfriend last night on the phone and I was gritting my teeth then too, hating having to explain again behavior I wasn't proud of, worried it was going to fuck everything up and yet understanding that it probably deserved to.
As I waste all days, actually.
My left knee is being stubborn, refusing to remain comfortable when bent for lengthy periods of time. When in motion, there's only a slight discomfort, but sitting down is a new, bizarre kind of discomfort, wrapping around my patella and making it all feel sore and throbbing.
Cartilege, perhaps, but without medical insurance, I'll never know.
I got the call last night, asking if I was going out, and I couldn't, I didn't want to be around smoke and alcohol, I'd found my bass and was determined to learn "Fire Back About Your New Baby's Sex" by ear, now that the walks up and down the fretboard weren't as daunting or unfamiliar as they once had been. I answered noncommittally and my voice sounded disconnected, as it usually does when I'm busy or stressed or depressed (or, in this case, all three).
"So," she seemed to spit, "I hear your new...girlfriend is our friend's ex."
I chuckled, expecting the subject and nonetheless disliking it. "That's what I hear," I reply. "Only goes to show you how incestuous our social scenes are."
I was gritting my teeth by then, gritting them when she smirked at how odd it was that I, so determined to not be in a relationship, suddenly found myself in one, gritting them when she said she was making me feel uncomfortable and gritting them when she mentioned that she thought it would be nice to hang out with me.
I'd gotten the message a couple days earlier, mutual friends had run into Girlfriend and had done the expected, "Darryl said this, Darryl said that," filtered and filtered again through second hands and heresay. I don't know how much of it was true, I'd like to think all of it was, but it warranted another rehashing of events, although it supposedly didn't.
I went through it again with Girlfriend last night on the phone and I was gritting my teeth then too, hating having to explain again behavior I wasn't proud of, worried it was going to fuck everything up and yet understanding that it probably deserved to.