So I have a lot on my mind lately....

I need to get my life back on track, not that its going bad it just feels really like stalled at the moment. I know what needs to be done but always lacked like the motivation until now. I think I have always been the type that when they are with some one they are more prone to make positive changes, not that I depend on them to guide me, but it is just a lot easier to move forward when some one is there to have your back. I think for some reason that now is that time.

I have this wonderful girl I am dating and I couldnt really ask for anyone better, she has the spirituality factor that I have always had, for the longest time I wanted to get into music ministry and attend a Christian college. She was really big into sign language up at the community college I used to semi attend. She helped me get on hormones only after dating me for just a few weeks, and ironically when we are together the more girlie I am at the time the more she seems to like me. It's just so far a really amazing relationship, we just have a blast all the time, even if we are just at home watching movies, or out to dinner at a fancy resturant in just jeans in a t shirt. Not to jinx things but I can totally see this lasting for a while.

I totally hated that whole movie Twilight, but now I sort o have to take it more seriously, because she always says I am the Bella to her Edward (cause she can read boys and girls well, but not me). So I guess that will mean I have to go see New Moon come date night.

The lasting affects from the DUI are slowly getting chipped away at as well. I went and got the MADD panel taken care of the other night. So basically all that is left is my 30 hours of community service, which I get to take care of by helping Suzanne in the nursery at her chrch (ironically the same one I used to attend as a child) and I think I have to do alcohol counsiling which I imgaine me telling a therapist about how I drank all the time to help deal with my gender idenity issues. Also some how I lucked out with things, cause my parents wanted to pay for my fines, 100 dollars out a month out of my check, and I am not supposed to know this but apparently my dad told my mom when I paid off the fines, about 900 or so then I can take that money for a car so now I have a good shot of getting where I can drive again.

Other things that are going well is that I had an old friend who we had a falling out with each other, but lately we seem to be mending some bridges, He is playing a show on the 20th and I told him that I would come out and see him. It will be really nice to show Suzanne who I used to make all those songs with so many years ago. Also on the 17th, Your Yellow Dress will be playing here as well, which has expressed intrest in doing an album based on some of my stuff, and then to round it out my hero's The Dear Hunter, and MewithoutYou are doing a show the same week.

I think this is a time for renewel and going back to my roots...

Been listening to a lot o christian hardcore and metalcore lately and writing my heart out in preperation for working with YYD. I grew up listening to Zao and Embodyment and playing gutter punk with Headnoise. I deffiently need to re visit that time of my life.

Also I need help coming up with ideas or my tattoos. I think I am sort of found more of a vision to it. I want to incorporate various images, lyrics, and themes from the various kinds of music that have helped shape me. I think I might even quote some Del The Funkee Homosapien. But yea the generes I want to hit, are twee, riot grrl, metalcore, so i anyone has cute ideas or lyrics that they want to suggest. I know I totally have an image from Showbread I need to tie into all o this.