A Note From the Editor
What goes up must come down. It feels like Im jumping on a trampoline.
Improvements
Overall, since the appointment last Friday I am still feeling better than I have been. But that high certainly wasnt as long lasting as I would have hoped.
Ive been trying to keep myself busy and in good spirits. Over the weekend I hung out with Derek. We ended up going to EB Games and picking up a few games. He bought Soul Calibur II and some other game, and I bought Animal Crossing and The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. Anyway, after that we went back to Dereks house and played Soul Calibur for a while. We ended up coming back to my house and checking out Animal Crossing. Oh. My. Goodness. That game is fucking fun!!! Why didnt I buy it earlier?
I think I may overdose on its cuteness!
Then, later in the week I met up with John and Angelo for breakfast at Dennys. Needless to say, good times were to be had. It is a shame we didnt really get together too often over the past yearWell definitely have to do it again before Angelo heads out to Boot Camp.
Im still trying to eat healthier. We went to Trader Joes on Monday and picked up some breads, bagels, veggies, etc. I still havent gained any of the weight back from when I was in the thick of that sinus infection, but overall my body is feeling better, and my acid reflux hasnt been acting up as much, which is a definite plus.
Mood Swings
As I mentioned earlier, the feel good high I had after my appointment last Friday wasnt as strong as I thought it would be. Dont get me wrong, Im feeling a lot better, and a hell of a lot better than just a few months ago when I was having those suicidal thoughts. But, it sort of feels like Im on a teeter-totter. Ill be feeling good, then things will calm down and Ill start to fall back into thought and inevitably back into a depressed state.
And as todays appointment crept ever closer, I felt myself falling into a worse and worse mood. I wanted to fool myself. I wanted to believe that everything was ok. It has been so long since I was truly happy, and I wanted to hold onto that small taste of happiness I had after my last appointment. I knew that going meant talking about my situationThat it meant falling back into the darkness. And I didnt want to do thatI just wanted to cherish my glimpse of happiness, even if it wasnt really there and I was just lying to myself.
But, there was no other choice I had to go. And so I went, and I recalled those emotions and drifted back into darkness. It has been about eight hours since my appointment, and I cant say that Im really happy this time. I mean, it still feels good to get things off of my chest and all thatBut I dont really feel relieved this time around. The weight is still there on my shoulders
In Other News
So, I got Naruto episodes 110-150. Took a lot less time to DL than I thought it would. The site I use kind of sucks because you have to UL as much as you DL So, Im stuck seeding at the moment.
Frys has a 400GB HD for $119.99 and a 200GB HD for $69.99Both of which tickle my fancy. Might have to go pick one or both up this weekend
Im bored with Counter-Strike. Aside from the two games mentioned above, Im also starting to get back into WoW. Anyone have any other suggestions of good games to play?
DeviantArt changed around its layout. I must say, Im not all too impressed or happy with the new setup. It is extremely buggy, although I will admit that they are smoothing out some of the rough spots. Nevertheless, there is no excuse for releasing a site that simply doesnt work Tons of features were broken, and some still are, they removed the message center breakdown (So now I cant tell if I have any comments, or if they are just journals), my desktop SS is still not showing, my journal header is now a journal footer, my website and contact info is no longer at the top of the page, and there is a ton of empty, wasted space on my user page.
The Wrap-Up
Well, this week sure did have its ups and its downs. Im not in all that great of a mood, so someone cheer me up! If you do, Ill love you long time!
Hope you all have a great weekend!
-Weston
Current Mood: Confused
Currently Listening to: "Knights of Cydonia - Muse
Currently watching: Well, not quite "currently watching," but I can't get enough of: Smallville, Miami Ink, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Made, True Life
Currently Playing: Counter-Strike: Source ([p]X | Phoenix, [p]X | Suckimus Maximus, or [p]X | Beware the Kha'ak), World of Warcraft (PXAnime on Kel'Thuzad, Sandtiger on Akama), Battlefield 2 (=Superman=KalEl or =PXConqueror=), Warcraft III (PX_Conqueror)
Currently Reading: A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway
Sites: Art MySpace Xanga SuicideGirls
GaiaOnline Last.FM
What goes up must come down. It feels like Im jumping on a trampoline.
Improvements
Overall, since the appointment last Friday I am still feeling better than I have been. But that high certainly wasnt as long lasting as I would have hoped.
Ive been trying to keep myself busy and in good spirits. Over the weekend I hung out with Derek. We ended up going to EB Games and picking up a few games. He bought Soul Calibur II and some other game, and I bought Animal Crossing and The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. Anyway, after that we went back to Dereks house and played Soul Calibur for a while. We ended up coming back to my house and checking out Animal Crossing. Oh. My. Goodness. That game is fucking fun!!! Why didnt I buy it earlier?
I think I may overdose on its cuteness!Then, later in the week I met up with John and Angelo for breakfast at Dennys. Needless to say, good times were to be had. It is a shame we didnt really get together too often over the past yearWell definitely have to do it again before Angelo heads out to Boot Camp.
Im still trying to eat healthier. We went to Trader Joes on Monday and picked up some breads, bagels, veggies, etc. I still havent gained any of the weight back from when I was in the thick of that sinus infection, but overall my body is feeling better, and my acid reflux hasnt been acting up as much, which is a definite plus.
Mood Swings
As I mentioned earlier, the feel good high I had after my appointment last Friday wasnt as strong as I thought it would be. Dont get me wrong, Im feeling a lot better, and a hell of a lot better than just a few months ago when I was having those suicidal thoughts. But, it sort of feels like Im on a teeter-totter. Ill be feeling good, then things will calm down and Ill start to fall back into thought and inevitably back into a depressed state.
And as todays appointment crept ever closer, I felt myself falling into a worse and worse mood. I wanted to fool myself. I wanted to believe that everything was ok. It has been so long since I was truly happy, and I wanted to hold onto that small taste of happiness I had after my last appointment. I knew that going meant talking about my situationThat it meant falling back into the darkness. And I didnt want to do thatI just wanted to cherish my glimpse of happiness, even if it wasnt really there and I was just lying to myself.
But, there was no other choice I had to go. And so I went, and I recalled those emotions and drifted back into darkness. It has been about eight hours since my appointment, and I cant say that Im really happy this time. I mean, it still feels good to get things off of my chest and all thatBut I dont really feel relieved this time around. The weight is still there on my shoulders
In Other News
So, I got Naruto episodes 110-150. Took a lot less time to DL than I thought it would. The site I use kind of sucks because you have to UL as much as you DL
So, Im stuck seeding at the moment.Frys has a 400GB HD for $119.99 and a 200GB HD for $69.99Both of which tickle my fancy. Might have to go pick one or both up this weekend
Im bored with Counter-Strike. Aside from the two games mentioned above, Im also starting to get back into WoW. Anyone have any other suggestions of good games to play?
DeviantArt changed around its layout. I must say, Im not all too impressed or happy with the new setup. It is extremely buggy, although I will admit that they are smoothing out some of the rough spots. Nevertheless, there is no excuse for releasing a site that simply doesnt work
Tons of features were broken, and some still are, they removed the message center breakdown (So now I cant tell if I have any comments, or if they are just journals), my desktop SS is still not showing, my journal header is now a journal footer, my website and contact info is no longer at the top of the page, and there is a ton of empty, wasted space on my user page.The Wrap-Up
Well, this week sure did have its ups and its downs. Im not in all that great of a mood, so someone cheer me up! If you do, Ill love you long time!
Hope you all have a great weekend!
-Weston
Current Mood: Confused
Currently Listening to: "Knights of Cydonia - Muse
Currently watching: Well, not quite "currently watching," but I can't get enough of: Smallville, Miami Ink, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Made, True Life
Currently Playing: Counter-Strike: Source ([p]X | Phoenix, [p]X | Suckimus Maximus, or [p]X | Beware the Kha'ak), World of Warcraft (PXAnime on Kel'Thuzad, Sandtiger on Akama), Battlefield 2 (=Superman=KalEl or =PXConqueror=), Warcraft III (PX_Conqueror)
Currently Reading: A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway
Sites: Art MySpace Xanga SuicideGirls
GaiaOnline Last.FM