A Note From the Editor
Sasha Cohen, have my babies???
Fan-fucking-tastic News! I Should be Happy...Right?
So, had an appointment with my surgeon yesterday. They numbed up my nose and scoped it. Turns out that my tumor is a lot paler, meaning there is a lot less blood flow to it, and it has actually shrunk! I should be happy, ecstatic even...right? But I'm not...I mean it is great news...But I just can't feel happy until it is completely removed
Eight Below
Yea, so John and I went to see Eight Below on Saturday night (I think)...At 10:40...I was so tired
The movie wasn't too bad...Better than I expected to be honest. Anyway, it was just good to get out of the house.
Somebody Save Me
I had the most wonderful dream last night, perhaps even my best dream ever. It was amazing...It was what my life could have been...What my life should have been.
Sorry guys, but I'm going to keep the details of the dream a secret
No--It isn't sexual or anything like that...It is just very special to me.
Anyway, I woke up feeling depressed more than ever because that dream made me realize how much I have lost since being diagnosed with the tumor
And so, we reach the always present, sad and gloomy section of the journal.
So, my state of depression continues, and thoughts of ending it all are happening more frequently. But don't worry, you're favorite quiet kid in the corner isn't going anywhere (Although, sometimes I wonder how many people would actually notice/care if I did go through with it).
While waiting for John to show up at the theater, I thought about just speeding across the parking lot and slamming into the side of Target.
And yesterday, boredom and free-time led to this craptastic sketch (Yea, yea, yea, I know, I know...There is a million and a half things wrong with this sketch...Deal with it):
Not sure if you will be able to read it, so: The sign on the left read "Now Leaving Heaven" and the signs on the right read "Path to Hell" and "Step 1: Walk to Edge Step 2: Step Off Step 3: Enjoy the Ride to HELL"
So, does anyone have any experience dealing with depression? I've tried talking to my parents, but that doesn't seem to work or help. My told my mom I was still depressed and she just flat out told me "No you're not." WTF?
Computer Woes
So, I finally upgraded. Fry's had a nice little deal, which I took advantage of: ECS K8T890-A motherboard & Amd Athlon 64 3200+ processor combo for $159.99. Basically, I got the motherboard for free Also bought a gig of RAM and a behemoth of a fan for the processor. All in all, I spent $300
Of course, it wasn't easy to install. At first, the motherboard didn't fit right...Finally got it in and everything plugged in. Went to install the fan and realized I couldn't use the stock backplate. So, I had to unplug everything and take the mobo out, install the backplate and mount, put the mobo back in, and re-plug everything in.
And of course, once I got everything working, Windows wanted to be a bitch and stopped working. So, I had to reinstall it. Then, I go to activate XP and it tells me that we've exceeding the number of times we can use our product key. So, now I have to jump on their tech support and bitch at them to unlock my key
Going to have to buy a new case here soon. Just have a stock case right now, and I really need something that has a lot more ventilation and a hell of a lot more powerCant really run any games or anything on the comp right now because I just dont have the power for it
And IE was being a whore, so I am a newly converted Firefox user
Current Mood: Depressed with a touch of a sad happiness
Currently Listening to: "Sound Check (Gravity)" - Gorillaz
Currently Watching: Well, not quite "currently watching," but I can't get enough of: Smallville, Miami Ink, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Made, True Life
Currently Playing: Counter-Strike: Source ([p]X | Phoenix, [p]X | Kal-El, or [p]X | Panic! At the Disco), World of Warcraft (PXAnime on Kel'Thuzad, Sandtiger on Akama), Battlefield 2 (=Superman=KalEl), Warcraft III (PX_Conqueror)
Currently Reading: Angels & Demons by Dan Brown
Sites: Art MySpace Xanga SuicideGirls
GaiaOnline Last.FM
Sasha Cohen, have my babies???
Fan-fucking-tastic News! I Should be Happy...Right?
So, had an appointment with my surgeon yesterday. They numbed up my nose and scoped it. Turns out that my tumor is a lot paler, meaning there is a lot less blood flow to it, and it has actually shrunk! I should be happy, ecstatic even...right? But I'm not...I mean it is great news...But I just can't feel happy until it is completely removed
Eight Below
Yea, so John and I went to see Eight Below on Saturday night (I think)...At 10:40...I was so tired
The movie wasn't too bad...Better than I expected to be honest. Anyway, it was just good to get out of the house.
Somebody Save Me
I had the most wonderful dream last night, perhaps even my best dream ever. It was amazing...It was what my life could have been...What my life should have been.
Sorry guys, but I'm going to keep the details of the dream a secret
No--It isn't sexual or anything like that...It is just very special to me.
Anyway, I woke up feeling depressed more than ever because that dream made me realize how much I have lost since being diagnosed with the tumor
And so, we reach the always present, sad and gloomy section of the journal.
So, my state of depression continues, and thoughts of ending it all are happening more frequently. But don't worry, you're favorite quiet kid in the corner isn't going anywhere (Although, sometimes I wonder how many people would actually notice/care if I did go through with it).
While waiting for John to show up at the theater, I thought about just speeding across the parking lot and slamming into the side of Target.
And yesterday, boredom and free-time led to this craptastic sketch (Yea, yea, yea, I know, I know...There is a million and a half things wrong with this sketch...Deal with it
):
Not sure if you will be able to read it, so: The sign on the left read "Now Leaving Heaven" and the signs on the right read "Path to Hell" and "Step 1: Walk to Edge Step 2: Step Off Step 3: Enjoy the Ride to HELL"
So, does anyone have any experience dealing with depression? I've tried talking to my parents, but that doesn't seem to work or help. My told my mom I was still depressed and she just flat out told me "No you're not." WTF?
Computer Woes
So, I finally upgraded. Fry's had a nice little deal, which I took advantage of: ECS K8T890-A motherboard & Amd Athlon 64 3200+ processor combo for $159.99. Basically, I got the motherboard for free
Also bought a gig of RAM and a behemoth of a fan for the processor. All in all, I spent $300
Of course, it wasn't easy to install. At first, the motherboard didn't fit right...Finally got it in and everything plugged in. Went to install the fan and realized I couldn't use the stock backplate. So, I had to unplug everything and take the mobo out, install the backplate and mount, put the mobo back in, and re-plug everything in.
And of course, once I got everything working, Windows wanted to be a bitch and stopped working. So, I had to reinstall it. Then, I go to activate XP and it tells me that we've exceeding the number of times we can use our product key. So, now I have to jump on their tech support and bitch at them to unlock my key
Going to have to buy a new case here soon. Just have a stock case right now, and I really need something that has a lot more ventilation and a hell of a lot more powerCant really run any games or anything on the comp right now because I just dont have the power for it
And IE was being a whore, so I am a newly converted Firefox user
Current Mood: Depressed with a touch of a sad happiness
Currently Listening to: "Sound Check (Gravity)" - Gorillaz
Currently Watching: Well, not quite "currently watching," but I can't get enough of: Smallville, Miami Ink, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Made, True Life
Currently Playing: Counter-Strike: Source ([p]X | Phoenix, [p]X | Kal-El, or [p]X | Panic! At the Disco), World of Warcraft (PXAnime on Kel'Thuzad, Sandtiger on Akama), Battlefield 2 (=Superman=KalEl), Warcraft III (PX_Conqueror)
Currently Reading: Angels & Demons by Dan Brown
Sites: Art MySpace Xanga SuicideGirls
GaiaOnline Last.FM
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sorry you're not feeling well