The Good
You guys should go check out Vocoder. It is my parent's co-worker's husband's band. They are pretty cool. They are having a CD release party, which we were invited too. Unfortunately for me, it is 21+
Oh well *sigh*
So, I saw one of my surgeons yesterday day. Didn't get good news, but didn't get bad news either. The tumor tissue doesn't look quite as pink, hopefully meaning that there isn't as much blood flow through it anymore. But it is too early to tell. I have another appointment in four weeks, and hopefully we will be getting some good news then.
So, who watched Smallville "Reckoning" last night? What??? You missed it??? But...but...but...It was the 100th episode...I mean...They killed a main character off! How could you miss that?! *Takes a deep breath* Ok, I'm calm now. But anyway, I really enjoyed the episode. I'm glad they had a little twist in there (I'll give you a hint, it was very similar to how Superman reacted to a death in the original Superman movie) because I was going to be really disappointed if they went with the person they were making look like the obvious target. I'm really excited because this episode was suppose to be the real turning point in Clark's and Lex's relationship...From here on out they should be real arch-enemies
Hopefully they can work on a deal for a 6th season *Crosses fingers*
Super Bowl
I'm routing for the Steelers to win the Super Bowl even more now. Seahawks fans have been bashing our boy "Lights Out" Merriman ever chance they get now. I hope the Steelers give em hell for their blasphemy! By the way, if you want to read a great discussion about the Super Bowl, I suggest you check out this thread: Go Seahawks!!! on my clan's forums. I post as PX_Phoenix for those of you who don't know. Our logic and arguments are flawless...lol
You'll see.
The Bad
So, we usually go to dinner after my appointments with my surgeon to avoid most of the rush hour traffic. So, we came home around 6:45 or so, and guess what was waiting for us? Nope--not a dog. Nope--not a present. My sister--Scrunched up in the corner of our porch sleeping.
It was dark outside and we didn't even see her until we were standing inches away from her. Dad called out to see who it was, no response, no movement, not anything. So my dad (Who had our screen door open already) starts nudging her with the door, which she apparently interpreted as being disrespectful and treating her like trash. Treating her like trash? Given the situation, she is lucky that he was so calm. What would you do if you came home, at night, to find someone you couldn't recognize and weren't expecting sleeping on your porch? You want to talk about disrespect? For the second time in a row, she failed to address my dad and I. My dad asked her who she was waiting for, she answered "My mom." Not "you" or "you guys" or "my family" or anything. Then, once inside, she goes straight to the kitchen and avoids us. Although I will give her credit, at least she said "bye" this time, which is an improvement over her last visit.
Anyway, my mom ended up dropping her off somewhere, and we find out that, as usual, she had only given us half of the story. My brother called and explained what really happened...How she had just shown up at his house and how he had given her a ride. How she was disrespectful, and he let everything out and told her everything. I give my brother credit. She needed to be told the truth--how we really feel about her, how much she has hurt us, how she really acts. He told her everything that my parents never do and that I've always wanted to.
Anyway, back to the story. So, they drive by our house, we aren't home, and she starts pounding on the door and calling for me. Still enraged, by brother tells her that even if I was home, I wouldn't open the door for her. She acted surprised (I never let her in, the only time I have being when she lied straight to my face and I gave her the benefit of the doubt). My brother went on to explain how we don't trust her and about how she steals. She denied it, and he not so nicely brought up all the tools and such that has been stolen from our house, and that things only went missing after she had been around, and how she has stolen, not once, but twice from her mentally challenged aunt.
So, after finally realizing that either no one was home or that I wasn't going to open the door, they decided to leave. She started walking up the street, my brother pulled up next to her and despite how he feels about her, still offered her a ride. She called him an asshole, and he sped off, still pissed. Turns out that my sister just circled back once my brother was gone and came back to our house. The reason she was in the corner of our porch? In case my brother came back, she didn't want to be visible.
*sigh* So much drama that I definitely don't need with all the shit I've been going through these past two years.
I know some of the things I write about my sister may seem mean or cruel, but it is all well deserving. We are talking about a person who completely, and willingly, destroyed her own life in a matter of months and has since been on a mission to bring down and exploit everyone that is even remotely close to her. I mean, if she really was trying to get back to normal, I would be willing to help her and would be more accepting. But she lives for the drama, she'll talk about it non-stop. She likes being a criminal, she constantly brags about being in jail and stealing and all this other stupid shit. She is a drug user, and that is just something I have absolutely no respect for. She shows no respect at all to the people who even now are still willing to help her. She expects us to just keep giving and giving and isn't appreciative of anything. And she constantly lies, so much so, that everything she says contradicts something she said five minutes ago.
And for those of you who may have picked up on this (I know there is a lot of writing and ranting right there, so I doubt many of you did). Yes, I did mean her aunt and not our aunt. It is a little known fact outside of the family that my siblings and I are really half-siblings. Fortunately for me, my brother is the most loving person in the world and has never, not even once, treated me differently because of we shave different biological fathers. He has always thought of my father as his own, and while I never say it, I am truly thankful for all the love he has shown me.
The Ugly
I still feel horrible. I'm cold, wrapped up in a blanket, and irritable. It is so hard to diagnose what is wrong with me though. I have pretty much a third of my sinuses removed from last year's surgery, and so basically every other week I have a sinus infection. I think that is what is going on right now. But it is hard to tell because it is really dry here, so my nose has been extremely stuffy, rather than running. I've had to breathe through my mouth all day, so my throat aches, my lips are chapped, and my tongue is as raw as could be.
And now my body is turning against me more than ever. My entire back aches, especially in the shoulder region. My neck hurts. My eyes still hurt. I still have all sorts of pressure in my face and headaches.
I'm falling apart and I don't know what to do...
And as if I needed anything else, I'm scared. Depending on the results of my appointment in four weeks, we may be doing some more experimenting with medication. Based on how I reacted to the last medication they gave me, I am certainly not looking forward to it...Especially since it is another one of those "But it has never been used on someone your age" type of situations.
Yea, so I feel royally fucked right about now. How are you doing?
Current Mood: Moody, in pain, and feeling like grade A shit
Currently Listening to: "Car Underwater" - Armor for Sleep
Currently Watching: Well, not quite "currently watching," but I can't get enough of: Smallville, Miami Ink, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Made, True Life
Currently Playing: Counter-Strike: Source ([p]X | Phoenix, [p]X | Kal-El, or [p]X | Panic! At the Disco), World of Warcraft (PXAnime on Kel'Thuzad), Battlefield 2 (=Superman=KalEl), Warcraft III (PX_Conqueror)
Currently Reading: Angels & Demons by Dan Brown
Sites: Art MySpace Xanga SuicideGirls
GaiaOnline
You guys should go check out Vocoder. It is my parent's co-worker's husband's band. They are pretty cool. They are having a CD release party, which we were invited too. Unfortunately for me, it is 21+
Oh well *sigh*
So, I saw one of my surgeons yesterday day. Didn't get good news, but didn't get bad news either. The tumor tissue doesn't look quite as pink, hopefully meaning that there isn't as much blood flow through it anymore. But it is too early to tell. I have another appointment in four weeks, and hopefully we will be getting some good news then.
So, who watched Smallville "Reckoning" last night? What??? You missed it??? But...but...but...It was the 100th episode...I mean...They killed a main character off! How could you miss that?! *Takes a deep breath* Ok, I'm calm now. But anyway, I really enjoyed the episode. I'm glad they had a little twist in there (I'll give you a hint, it was very similar to how Superman reacted to a death in the original Superman movie) because I was going to be really disappointed if they went with the person they were making look like the obvious target. I'm really excited because this episode was suppose to be the real turning point in Clark's and Lex's relationship...From here on out they should be real arch-enemies
Hopefully they can work on a deal for a 6th season *Crosses fingers*
Super Bowl
I'm routing for the Steelers to win the Super Bowl even more now. Seahawks fans have been bashing our boy "Lights Out" Merriman ever chance they get now. I hope the Steelers give em hell for their blasphemy! By the way, if you want to read a great discussion about the Super Bowl, I suggest you check out this thread: Go Seahawks!!! on my clan's forums. I post as PX_Phoenix for those of you who don't know. Our logic and arguments are flawless...lol
You'll see.
The Bad
So, we usually go to dinner after my appointments with my surgeon to avoid most of the rush hour traffic. So, we came home around 6:45 or so, and guess what was waiting for us? Nope--not a dog. Nope--not a present. My sister--Scrunched up in the corner of our porch sleeping.
It was dark outside and we didn't even see her until we were standing inches away from her. Dad called out to see who it was, no response, no movement, not anything. So my dad (Who had our screen door open already) starts nudging her with the door, which she apparently interpreted as being disrespectful and treating her like trash. Treating her like trash? Given the situation, she is lucky that he was so calm. What would you do if you came home, at night, to find someone you couldn't recognize and weren't expecting sleeping on your porch? You want to talk about disrespect? For the second time in a row, she failed to address my dad and I. My dad asked her who she was waiting for, she answered "My mom." Not "you" or "you guys" or "my family" or anything. Then, once inside, she goes straight to the kitchen and avoids us. Although I will give her credit, at least she said "bye" this time, which is an improvement over her last visit.
Anyway, my mom ended up dropping her off somewhere, and we find out that, as usual, she had only given us half of the story. My brother called and explained what really happened...How she had just shown up at his house and how he had given her a ride. How she was disrespectful, and he let everything out and told her everything. I give my brother credit. She needed to be told the truth--how we really feel about her, how much she has hurt us, how she really acts. He told her everything that my parents never do and that I've always wanted to.
Anyway, back to the story. So, they drive by our house, we aren't home, and she starts pounding on the door and calling for me. Still enraged, by brother tells her that even if I was home, I wouldn't open the door for her. She acted surprised (I never let her in, the only time I have being when she lied straight to my face and I gave her the benefit of the doubt). My brother went on to explain how we don't trust her and about how she steals. She denied it, and he not so nicely brought up all the tools and such that has been stolen from our house, and that things only went missing after she had been around, and how she has stolen, not once, but twice from her mentally challenged aunt.
So, after finally realizing that either no one was home or that I wasn't going to open the door, they decided to leave. She started walking up the street, my brother pulled up next to her and despite how he feels about her, still offered her a ride. She called him an asshole, and he sped off, still pissed. Turns out that my sister just circled back once my brother was gone and came back to our house. The reason she was in the corner of our porch? In case my brother came back, she didn't want to be visible.
*sigh* So much drama that I definitely don't need with all the shit I've been going through these past two years.
I know some of the things I write about my sister may seem mean or cruel, but it is all well deserving. We are talking about a person who completely, and willingly, destroyed her own life in a matter of months and has since been on a mission to bring down and exploit everyone that is even remotely close to her. I mean, if she really was trying to get back to normal, I would be willing to help her and would be more accepting. But she lives for the drama, she'll talk about it non-stop. She likes being a criminal, she constantly brags about being in jail and stealing and all this other stupid shit. She is a drug user, and that is just something I have absolutely no respect for. She shows no respect at all to the people who even now are still willing to help her. She expects us to just keep giving and giving and isn't appreciative of anything. And she constantly lies, so much so, that everything she says contradicts something she said five minutes ago.
And for those of you who may have picked up on this (I know there is a lot of writing and ranting right there, so I doubt many of you did). Yes, I did mean her aunt and not our aunt. It is a little known fact outside of the family that my siblings and I are really half-siblings. Fortunately for me, my brother is the most loving person in the world and has never, not even once, treated me differently because of we shave different biological fathers. He has always thought of my father as his own, and while I never say it, I am truly thankful for all the love he has shown me.
The Ugly
I still feel horrible. I'm cold, wrapped up in a blanket, and irritable. It is so hard to diagnose what is wrong with me though. I have pretty much a third of my sinuses removed from last year's surgery, and so basically every other week I have a sinus infection. I think that is what is going on right now. But it is hard to tell because it is really dry here, so my nose has been extremely stuffy, rather than running. I've had to breathe through my mouth all day, so my throat aches, my lips are chapped, and my tongue is as raw as could be.
And now my body is turning against me more than ever. My entire back aches, especially in the shoulder region. My neck hurts. My eyes still hurt. I still have all sorts of pressure in my face and headaches.
I'm falling apart and I don't know what to do...
And as if I needed anything else, I'm scared. Depending on the results of my appointment in four weeks, we may be doing some more experimenting with medication. Based on how I reacted to the last medication they gave me, I am certainly not looking forward to it...Especially since it is another one of those "But it has never been used on someone your age" type of situations.
Yea, so I feel royally fucked right about now. How are you doing?
Current Mood: Moody, in pain, and feeling like grade A shit
Currently Listening to: "Car Underwater" - Armor for Sleep
Currently Watching: Well, not quite "currently watching," but I can't get enough of: Smallville, Miami Ink, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Made, True Life
Currently Playing: Counter-Strike: Source ([p]X | Phoenix, [p]X | Kal-El, or [p]X | Panic! At the Disco), World of Warcraft (PXAnime on Kel'Thuzad), Battlefield 2 (=Superman=KalEl), Warcraft III (PX_Conqueror)
Currently Reading: Angels & Demons by Dan Brown
Sites: Art MySpace Xanga SuicideGirls
GaiaOnline