werlywolf

I've been really wanting to quit the site lately. It has a lot to do with people complaining all the time. I know I've been extremely guilty of the same thing myself. But it's really blah to get on here and see people flip flopping day in and day out mostly to do with pouting about really trivial stuff. But who am I to determine what's bothering them is trivial it's obviously not to them or they wouldn't be posting about it.

I often wonder why people post personal things or when they are sad. Are they hoping to receive some compassion? Or are they just trying to get whats on their minds out? Also does it really matter do they want certain people to see what they re saying? Do certain peoples comments or incite mean more then others? I understand this is a site thats appreciates beautiful alternative women. I have to constantly remind myself of that because I've always used it as a social site. I forget that when I see a girl post something thats bothering her and see a laundry its of comments telling her how awesome she is. Then I see a guy post something similar and see maybe one person show him some sympathy. Maybe by design men are expected to be tough and when other guys see them sad they don't want to admit they've felt that before. or they don't wanna sound like a jerk for saying "suck it up pussy". I just don't get what people are trying to achieve and almost all of them will say they didn't want sympathy but just to vent. I honestly don't even know what the hell I wanted t achieve when i posted sad shit on here either. As I've say before the double standard thing. Boosting peoples self esteems is never bad i believe that whole heartedly. I can't help to think that the way its done on this site is often for really wrong reasons and motives. I could be totally wrong this is just my opinion.

A lot of people i've known and grown up with have died in my short 25 years. A good amount of them have committed suicide recently. It's really fucking strange I've never felt like things were ever that bad. Not even when I was in prison and felt like I was paralyzed in life. I couldn't do anything to help myself and saw the constant sadness my family was dealing with seeing me locked up. I guess I'm just trying to understand it. People probably wouldn't think for a second that I have it rough. Because yes I still live at home and I have a good amount of money because of this. But I have had a fucking insanely rough time since February of 2006 thats nearly six years. Yea its totally my fault I fucked up and made a stupid choice and got in trouble. But isn't it insane that six years later I'm still dealing with it? I often feel like people resent me because my parents can help me if I absolutely needed them too. My parents work like crazy though they have no friends no hobbies no lives other then work. It's the main reason I bust so much ass so they don't have to help me. I've been grinding it out for three years now and I hate what I have to do to make money but I've gotten it down to a science now and the money is good. I continue to push through college knowing that even with degree ill make less then I do now.

On that note I think it's time for my main complaint. This site has made me feel insignificant more then anything else. I am at a point in my life where I'm ok with being alone all the time and its refreshing but I find myself lurking this place and it makes me feel like crap. The things I say are often misunderstood. I have to stop myself from commenting things to people because honesty doesn't work here. Id be fucking burnt at the stake if I say what i really felt. I'm not the one to bite his tongue but I find it happen more and more here. Thats not my style so it's really wearing me down. I figured Id stick around until after the SG halloween party on saturday. To see if anything changes with it. The only reason I intend on attending it is because I'm going to Wizard World. The club Moziac or however you spell it fucking sucks. And the Sg parties in my opinion have sucked ass lately. If you go up to anyone you don't already know they will say hello to you then make you feel like a total fucking creep while you stand there and they ignore you. Why do people keep insisting that this is a fun time? I don't fucking get it at all. It didn't use to be like that at all and I feel like it's getting worse. I hope someone reads this fucking post thats attending the event and fucking acknowledges this. But I highly doubt it because it's a long post.

Life is precious it's not that bad we are capable of overcoming anything.