wendylynn

Whew - where has the time gone.

My computer at home is not working so I am limited to work, and its been kinda crazy here, so its been awhile since I updated.

I had friends over last night to decorate the tree, played video games, I made sugar cookies. We played Battle of the Sexes. The girl questions are the hardest - poor dudes.

It is snowing like a fiend here and its pretty but it makes my work so hard.

I am afraid the ex will want to hang out for the holidays and I dont want that and it is so hard to be unkind. Im hoping I will magically handle it well somehow.

How does... "I would love to have you over to spend Christmas morning with the kids but as far as my family gathering, I think I would be too confused and it would be upsetting/hard on me for several reasons having you there since we arent together".

I'm reading Anne Rice's new one. Boy has she changed. Still that same wonderful voice though.

I am so Thankful for my friends. My home. My family.

I am happy. I have one hurdle to oversome which I think will unearth other obstacles but I am becoming ready and willing to begin to work and the journey - and endure the pain that may go with that.

I have something I am postponing which I am praying about.

The love spell on Harrison didnt work so I think divine intervention must have stepped in and saved me some heartache.

I still desire though and I think sometimes it is me holding myself back because I dont know how.

Everyone tells me I am the "together" one. I seem so calm, at peace, like I dont worry. Who do I call when I need a strong one? Who do I call when Im not together?

My so called family didnt call me when my Papa Rea died. I had a feeling to call.... and he had died that morning, so I said please call with the arrangements. I never heard. I called Wed eve and they said "they are tonight" - so I get the kids out of school early and go to North Carolina that minute - of course everyone was all happy to see me blah blah. I cant believe they didnt call me. I went back home that night, and I was just so tired and needed someone to take care of things. Again, it was me on my own being the strong, together, "get r done" one. Nice.

This is making me sad.