You ever just really love someone but they drain you? You know, after a point you just really need a break big time. I am recharging my batteries in the area of "someone".
There was this moment when I thought, I cant stand to listen to you another minute. I feel like the rapid fire jackhammer stream of verbal onslaught was making me about to scream. To further complicate the matter, please do try to add as many worthless, like, idiotic, like, stupid, like, unnecessary, like, like, like, fillers that you like possibly, like, can.
I AM NOT EXAGGERATING! This individual is fucking almost 30 years old!
Anyway. One of my employees is quitting and going to work for someone starting out making 50 cent more than me. Ive been working for this damn company for 20 years. I swear. I have other benefits that would make most people cry in envy but let me tell you money is not one of them.
which do I need more? control? security? freedom? or money?
I meet someone who causes me a tremendous amount of confusion. I declined his offer to hook up (I love being a girl, sex seems to be easier to get .... or maybe Im in the right place at the right time? or am I cuter than I think? )
anyway. cutie pie "H" does a smooth move and wants to use my phone. I give it to him. Anyone see where this is going? I didnt either. Next minute I hear his phone ringing. I say - dude - you got a phone. Still I dont catch on. then he hangs up my phone and says "ok, now I've got your number"
and you have mine, so call me Sunday night because I will be camping all weekend.
I just now call him a week and 4 days later. He never called me although he had my number and said I better call or hed stalk me (mixed feelings about this) anyway. I felt like after I had called him I had lost somehow. I dont know. I wish I hadnt. He is scary looking (in a sexy hot way) with his tatts and piercings. Lots of them. No hair. Goatee.
He made some comments that kinda made me go "humm"
but he was so so so sweet. Not a great kisser which for me is a deal breaker usually. He came and sat on my lap though which seems to be a pattern lately. One thing... He said "pull over here so we can make out" magic words. I love to make out. when I took my phone out of my bra he held it to his face like he was so happy to be next to it because it had been in my bra. (I keep it there - nice thing about big boobs - its a little phone though) and I also keep my license there, some cash, credit card..... like some grandmas do.
He asked me what I had in mind. I told him nothing. He was hoping for me to say "screwing you" or "hooking up with you" but I said nothing. He was respectful enough to not push but he would gently mention it again, just touch on it. Im so confused as to why this dude captured my attention.
The night I met him I was being bombarded by another guy. Almost begging. "so what you think?"" You wanna hook up? ""Do you think Im cute?" "What do you like?"" You even been with someone like me?""whats your type?"
It was too much. really too much.
It may have just turned me off across the board.
I told "H" the truth though... I just was not feeling it that night. I just wasnt. I dont know if it was because I was irritated with the other dude being so pushy. So now, is that why I want to go out? A do over? He was not at all pushy. He is a great conversationalist. A great talker. Interesting. Intelligent. Complete sentences. Big words. (I love that) I dont know. I wish I knew.
Last Thur (No more "D" my crush - he got arrested and banned from the bar we go to for being drunk in public.. he says he doesnt remember......I heard he got in a fight... I miss him alittle but the more I got to know him the more he was becoming too real and less of a fantasy.... which will ruin it, so this is probably pretty good) anyway... so last thurs this dude goes up with us to a room me and a friend go to because he meet this dude who has a room.. anyway - he is talking shit the whole way up about an orgy. I thought he was being funny... I mean .. I've been in situations like that and dudes will joke... but this guy instantly starts stripping! Buck Naked. Too funny. And he is not a bit shy. He said "arent yall gonna take your clothes off""I though we was going to have an orgy""come on dont make me be naked all by myself""If I aint shy (grabs belly and shakes it) then you shouldnt be shy" (this was to the dude my friend was with because he had the magazine body) anyway.. we tell him we are not going to get naked. He finally gets dressed and leaves. I cant believe he did that - just stood there with his little pee pee all in the wind and belly and all and just talking like it was the most normal thing in the world. Turns out he goes with a group of swingers. One of the rules is you have to take your clothes off before they let you in the house. For real. Then you play pool, eat dinner, whatever - completely naked. Like a mini nudist colony. Ok, so I am so not going there. I want a magazine body - ya know? I want to not have to worry about what I look like. My stomach. Make it flat. My ass. Make it smaller. I hate this issue.
I have a dermatologist appt on Nov 9. freckles. some look like they might need seen about. I love the sun and have a pool and a convertible so I get a good amount of sun. Just wanna be careful.
There is so much more to tell. Went to Fright Fest at Kings Dominion last weekend. Rode all the roller coasters. I love them. Wish the line for Volcano was not so long.
My feet hurt so bad afterwards. I went straight to the salon and got a pedicure so she would soak and rub my feet. Blisters! I had blisters! But I had so much fun
Went to a friends birthday party."M" She is the classiest person I know. Her son "P" is a sweetie and is working on something real w. my other friend."J" They are gonna be perfect together. Like a real relationship where people meet for dinner, hold each other, watch tv together, go to antique shows together, rides, pic nics. I dont know how to do that. Watching them might be a good thing.
Reading "A Gift From the Sea" - a book on being more at peace inside and out. Im loving it so far.
Added to my to read list "Running with Scissors" "Naked" "Dry" "Witch of Cologne" "Red Tent"
Went to the New Target - I love that store.
Built my first fire of the season tonight in my fireplace in my bedroom - oh yeah. Love it. I suck at building fires. Need some of those fire starter thing-ys.
Trying to get back off sugar... did so good for so long and now Im struggling again.
Saw "Domino" over the weekend. I liked it alot.
Ate too much at IHOP after.
Ate Mexican Saturday. God I spend way too fucking much money on eating out. You should see my pantry! We will be fine the rest of the winter... maybe milk and bread and some meat... I got the rest! What on earth?
I gotta tell about KC whipping out his peter.. and begging to have it rubbed... and the disappearance of JT and the plan to get the truck for my girl K.
the back and forth argument I have with myself about fake nails. being behind on the insurance and personal prop taxes.
did I tell about JT whipping out his peter weekend before last? the night I met "H" - then KC graced us with his Saturday night. What is it with these dudes?
my friend "L" and her reunion w/ her man. His drama. he has one pregnant, shacking with one, and calling my friend "L"
Saw the candy man in Big Lots. My attorney in one checkout the candy man in the other. Comedy.
Got my first Christmas party invite tonight. Cant believe its time for this already.
Do love spells work?
Horse show: "C" won! Im so proud!
Trail Ride: another $50
Horse ride lesson: changed to Sun: another $20
look on her face: priceless.
Looked at modular homes w. "J" cause she and "P" are really getting something going. Whats the word on those? Very inexpensive. Why? Ive heard all the pluses. Built in a factory so not exposed to weather. No freight to have materials delivered to a job site. More machine does some work so more "regular" nails mopre evenly spaced. Secure because must be able to handle transport. dont have to pay the men to come to job site - extra crews, etc. all one company pays them to work in the factory. anyway. are these homes sturdy for the long haul? Like forever? like some of these old homes, or are they gonna look cheap soon. Do they look cheap now?
Yeah, the psycho dude I met on the net ("S.O") wow. crazy freaking dude. control freak. psycho and scary. gotta elaborate on that later.
Gotta be at work in 20 min . more later.
if you just read all that. you rock. thanks for giving a fuck.
There was this moment when I thought, I cant stand to listen to you another minute. I feel like the rapid fire jackhammer stream of verbal onslaught was making me about to scream. To further complicate the matter, please do try to add as many worthless, like, idiotic, like, stupid, like, unnecessary, like, like, like, fillers that you like possibly, like, can.
I AM NOT EXAGGERATING! This individual is fucking almost 30 years old!
Anyway. One of my employees is quitting and going to work for someone starting out making 50 cent more than me. Ive been working for this damn company for 20 years. I swear. I have other benefits that would make most people cry in envy but let me tell you money is not one of them.
which do I need more? control? security? freedom? or money?
I meet someone who causes me a tremendous amount of confusion. I declined his offer to hook up (I love being a girl, sex seems to be easier to get .... or maybe Im in the right place at the right time? or am I cuter than I think? )
anyway. cutie pie "H" does a smooth move and wants to use my phone. I give it to him. Anyone see where this is going? I didnt either. Next minute I hear his phone ringing. I say - dude - you got a phone. Still I dont catch on. then he hangs up my phone and says "ok, now I've got your number"
and you have mine, so call me Sunday night because I will be camping all weekend.
I just now call him a week and 4 days later. He never called me although he had my number and said I better call or hed stalk me (mixed feelings about this) anyway. I felt like after I had called him I had lost somehow. I dont know. I wish I hadnt. He is scary looking (in a sexy hot way) with his tatts and piercings. Lots of them. No hair. Goatee.
He made some comments that kinda made me go "humm"
but he was so so so sweet. Not a great kisser which for me is a deal breaker usually. He came and sat on my lap though which seems to be a pattern lately. One thing... He said "pull over here so we can make out" magic words. I love to make out. when I took my phone out of my bra he held it to his face like he was so happy to be next to it because it had been in my bra. (I keep it there - nice thing about big boobs - its a little phone though) and I also keep my license there, some cash, credit card..... like some grandmas do.
He asked me what I had in mind. I told him nothing. He was hoping for me to say "screwing you" or "hooking up with you" but I said nothing. He was respectful enough to not push but he would gently mention it again, just touch on it. Im so confused as to why this dude captured my attention.
The night I met him I was being bombarded by another guy. Almost begging. "so what you think?"" You wanna hook up? ""Do you think Im cute?" "What do you like?"" You even been with someone like me?""whats your type?"
It was too much. really too much.
It may have just turned me off across the board.
I told "H" the truth though... I just was not feeling it that night. I just wasnt. I dont know if it was because I was irritated with the other dude being so pushy. So now, is that why I want to go out? A do over? He was not at all pushy. He is a great conversationalist. A great talker. Interesting. Intelligent. Complete sentences. Big words. (I love that) I dont know. I wish I knew.
Last Thur (No more "D" my crush - he got arrested and banned from the bar we go to for being drunk in public.. he says he doesnt remember......I heard he got in a fight... I miss him alittle but the more I got to know him the more he was becoming too real and less of a fantasy.... which will ruin it, so this is probably pretty good) anyway... so last thurs this dude goes up with us to a room me and a friend go to because he meet this dude who has a room.. anyway - he is talking shit the whole way up about an orgy. I thought he was being funny... I mean .. I've been in situations like that and dudes will joke... but this guy instantly starts stripping! Buck Naked. Too funny. And he is not a bit shy. He said "arent yall gonna take your clothes off""I though we was going to have an orgy""come on dont make me be naked all by myself""If I aint shy (grabs belly and shakes it) then you shouldnt be shy" (this was to the dude my friend was with because he had the magazine body) anyway.. we tell him we are not going to get naked. He finally gets dressed and leaves. I cant believe he did that - just stood there with his little pee pee all in the wind and belly and all and just talking like it was the most normal thing in the world. Turns out he goes with a group of swingers. One of the rules is you have to take your clothes off before they let you in the house. For real. Then you play pool, eat dinner, whatever - completely naked. Like a mini nudist colony. Ok, so I am so not going there. I want a magazine body - ya know? I want to not have to worry about what I look like. My stomach. Make it flat. My ass. Make it smaller. I hate this issue.
I have a dermatologist appt on Nov 9. freckles. some look like they might need seen about. I love the sun and have a pool and a convertible so I get a good amount of sun. Just wanna be careful.
There is so much more to tell. Went to Fright Fest at Kings Dominion last weekend. Rode all the roller coasters. I love them. Wish the line for Volcano was not so long.
My feet hurt so bad afterwards. I went straight to the salon and got a pedicure so she would soak and rub my feet. Blisters! I had blisters! But I had so much fun
Went to a friends birthday party."M" She is the classiest person I know. Her son "P" is a sweetie and is working on something real w. my other friend."J" They are gonna be perfect together. Like a real relationship where people meet for dinner, hold each other, watch tv together, go to antique shows together, rides, pic nics. I dont know how to do that. Watching them might be a good thing.
Reading "A Gift From the Sea" - a book on being more at peace inside and out. Im loving it so far.
Added to my to read list "Running with Scissors" "Naked" "Dry" "Witch of Cologne" "Red Tent"
Went to the New Target - I love that store.
Built my first fire of the season tonight in my fireplace in my bedroom - oh yeah. Love it. I suck at building fires. Need some of those fire starter thing-ys.
Trying to get back off sugar... did so good for so long and now Im struggling again.
Saw "Domino" over the weekend. I liked it alot.
Ate too much at IHOP after.
Ate Mexican Saturday. God I spend way too fucking much money on eating out. You should see my pantry! We will be fine the rest of the winter... maybe milk and bread and some meat... I got the rest! What on earth?
I gotta tell about KC whipping out his peter.. and begging to have it rubbed... and the disappearance of JT and the plan to get the truck for my girl K.
the back and forth argument I have with myself about fake nails. being behind on the insurance and personal prop taxes.
did I tell about JT whipping out his peter weekend before last? the night I met "H" - then KC graced us with his Saturday night. What is it with these dudes?
my friend "L" and her reunion w/ her man. His drama. he has one pregnant, shacking with one, and calling my friend "L"
Saw the candy man in Big Lots. My attorney in one checkout the candy man in the other. Comedy.
Got my first Christmas party invite tonight. Cant believe its time for this already.
Do love spells work?
Horse show: "C" won! Im so proud!
Trail Ride: another $50
Horse ride lesson: changed to Sun: another $20
look on her face: priceless.
Looked at modular homes w. "J" cause she and "P" are really getting something going. Whats the word on those? Very inexpensive. Why? Ive heard all the pluses. Built in a factory so not exposed to weather. No freight to have materials delivered to a job site. More machine does some work so more "regular" nails mopre evenly spaced. Secure because must be able to handle transport. dont have to pay the men to come to job site - extra crews, etc. all one company pays them to work in the factory. anyway. are these homes sturdy for the long haul? Like forever? like some of these old homes, or are they gonna look cheap soon. Do they look cheap now?
Yeah, the psycho dude I met on the net ("S.O") wow. crazy freaking dude. control freak. psycho and scary. gotta elaborate on that later.
Gotta be at work in 20 min . more later.
if you just read all that. you rock. thanks for giving a fuck.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
I hope they are not that challenging - I do not want to feel guilty in tagging you ...
have a great week m'lady
hugs