I have been reading a lot lately. I fall so deeply into the pages that I don't even get up to greet people when they walk in the door. I skip class. I skip meals. I lay back, fall into another world and am still consumed by the words even after I put the book down. I am dreaming the novels. I just finished The Lovely Bones after two days, and am convinced that I know the characters. I guess I was yearning for a bit of a vacation and managed to find one without actually having to go anywhere....
I've been doing quite a bit of changing in the past year. I am now so focused, so driven and so motivated that many things from my past now seem futile, seem like they were a waste of time and make me wish that I had the knowledge then that I do now. I wouldn't ever wish to be a suicidegirl now, almost 25, with a wonderful life, a wonderful boyfriend, a wonderful home in Jerusalem and a wonderful path ahead of me. I don't need much else to fulfill my needs, they are fulfilled. They have reached higher than my wildest dreams ever imagined, and they are slowly but steadily continuing to move upwards. The sky is the limit for me, I now truly believe I can go wherever, do whatever, and be whoever I will ever want.
About a year ago I started a project on suicidegirls.com, called Suicidegirls Pinups for Soldiers. I had the idea to gather all of the girls who were interested and begin sending care packages to soldiers stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan, full of SG pictures, letters, SG stickers, decks of cards, calendars, whatever our creative minds could think of. I started a group here on SG, started a page on Myspace, began telling friends and spreading the word and after a couple of weeks the ball started rolling. A year later, I could never have imagined that I would be getting hundreds upon hundreds of requests and be sending out mass mailings of around 40 packages at a time. I never dreamed of the support and participation of the girls who have helped out, spending lots of time and money to contribute to this project. The best part of all of this has come in the form of emails, testimonials and letters from the soldiers who have done nothing but shown complete gratitude in what we have done. They tell us stories of bases having poker tournaments with the SG card decks, of hanging up the pictures in every place imaginable, of putting SG stickers on their tanks. Whether or not you agree with what is going on in this war, I feel an immense amount of happiness that we have managed to cheer up so many who are so far away from home. We did good, ladies. For this reason, for this project, I am not going to leave suicidegirls. I made a commitment to run this project and to make sure that every soldier who requested a care package would receive one. No matter where I am in my life, this will continue to be important to me. So...long story short, Wendy is not leaving the building.
That said, a bit of advice. Tell the people who you love that you love them as much as you possibly can, and tell them that you mean it. Treat the people you care about with kindness and with care. Do them favors. Buy them gifts. Give them compliments. And for the people you are neutral about or even for those you don't care for that much, be kind. Be considerate. Don't hurt people. Don't say mean things to someone, even if they say mean things to you. Don't use insults just to make someone feel lower than you. If it makes you feel better to be mean and to insult other people, you have some serious soul searching to do. Take your time. In time you'll figure out that it really doesn't bring the comfort and content you once thought it did.
If more of us followed these rules the world (and also this website), would be a much more pleasant place, yes?
I've been doing quite a bit of changing in the past year. I am now so focused, so driven and so motivated that many things from my past now seem futile, seem like they were a waste of time and make me wish that I had the knowledge then that I do now. I wouldn't ever wish to be a suicidegirl now, almost 25, with a wonderful life, a wonderful boyfriend, a wonderful home in Jerusalem and a wonderful path ahead of me. I don't need much else to fulfill my needs, they are fulfilled. They have reached higher than my wildest dreams ever imagined, and they are slowly but steadily continuing to move upwards. The sky is the limit for me, I now truly believe I can go wherever, do whatever, and be whoever I will ever want.
About a year ago I started a project on suicidegirls.com, called Suicidegirls Pinups for Soldiers. I had the idea to gather all of the girls who were interested and begin sending care packages to soldiers stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan, full of SG pictures, letters, SG stickers, decks of cards, calendars, whatever our creative minds could think of. I started a group here on SG, started a page on Myspace, began telling friends and spreading the word and after a couple of weeks the ball started rolling. A year later, I could never have imagined that I would be getting hundreds upon hundreds of requests and be sending out mass mailings of around 40 packages at a time. I never dreamed of the support and participation of the girls who have helped out, spending lots of time and money to contribute to this project. The best part of all of this has come in the form of emails, testimonials and letters from the soldiers who have done nothing but shown complete gratitude in what we have done. They tell us stories of bases having poker tournaments with the SG card decks, of hanging up the pictures in every place imaginable, of putting SG stickers on their tanks. Whether or not you agree with what is going on in this war, I feel an immense amount of happiness that we have managed to cheer up so many who are so far away from home. We did good, ladies. For this reason, for this project, I am not going to leave suicidegirls. I made a commitment to run this project and to make sure that every soldier who requested a care package would receive one. No matter where I am in my life, this will continue to be important to me. So...long story short, Wendy is not leaving the building.
That said, a bit of advice. Tell the people who you love that you love them as much as you possibly can, and tell them that you mean it. Treat the people you care about with kindness and with care. Do them favors. Buy them gifts. Give them compliments. And for the people you are neutral about or even for those you don't care for that much, be kind. Be considerate. Don't hurt people. Don't say mean things to someone, even if they say mean things to you. Don't use insults just to make someone feel lower than you. If it makes you feel better to be mean and to insult other people, you have some serious soul searching to do. Take your time. In time you'll figure out that it really doesn't bring the comfort and content you once thought it did.
If more of us followed these rules the world (and also this website), would be a much more pleasant place, yes?
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aaaaaand i love that last paragraph!