wendy

i was sick for days.
im almost better.
i can feel the healthy me dying to get out.
i can feel her scratching at the surface.
it was dark at six, tonight.
i like when the days are short.
i feel like i have less to live up to.
i've been pampering myself all week with nyquil, chicken soup, and TBS movies.
now i'm starting to feel healthy and i want to get out. to dance. to meet new people.
i've been having sex dreams lately.
about random people that i know.
every night, another sex dream. i haven't ever had sex with any of the people that i'm dreaming about.
i just gave my dog a chew stick and he's eating it so fast he's choking himself.
i can't wait to go home.
i miss my brother.
i wish my parents didn't move.
my best friend called me today.
we have a long history of forgetting eachother's birthdays, and she continued the tradition, calling 5 days late. she's a big city girl now, i'll excuse her.

it's not like she's the only one who forgot. or remembered, for that matter, but didn't care. people shouldn't need a day to remind them to be nice to you. what's sad is that some people do need to be reminded. i'm constantly giving people 2nd, 3rd, 8th chances. chances to show me that they care. to show me that the words that come out of their mouths..the things they say, the feelings that they attempt to articulate to me are real. i don't give a fuck what you say. fucking show me.

i call this my... i'm sick and am running on nothing but diet coke and cigarettes with a psych exam in 9 hours face. it's a face i have often, seeing as how this situation happens almost weekly.