you know, i've been gone for so long. not just from the site, but from everything. i haven't really cared about much besides chris and i lately. we're still on a roller coaster, but things are going a lot better. it's like i'm focusing all of this energy on chris and i and making everything better and patching up holes that i don't have time for anything else. not even the important things, but then again i don't really feel like much else is really important. chris is my best friend, in some cases really my only true close friend right now because everyone else has moved away or we've grown apart.
i just feel like there's really not any time anymore. for some reason 16 credits seems like a lot more work than 19 credits did last semester. maybe it's because i'm in class from 9-4 every tuesday and thursday. maybe it's the all the reading i have to do for classes, and just when i think i couldn't possibly have any more homework i get a ridiculous email from one of my professors saying "oh by the way, write me a paper about _____ due tomorrow." just keep piling it on, please. for the first time in my life i feel like i can't get anything done. i don't have time for anything. the days and nights aren't long enough. stress and emotion and lack of sleep has gotten the best of me. there's never any time for anything. i get so easily distracted.
i want to scream and kick and howl like the guys in bands. i want just one day, one day that i have absolutely nothing to do. i want to disappear, just for a day...to not exist....to live in a perfect world.
....
every time i drive home and finish off the twilliger curves and see portland in my sights i fall in love with the city all over again. it's so beautiful. seeing the bridges just feels like home. like somewhere i belong. like i'm so lucky to live in such a beautiful place. i really don't know what it is, but making that last curve and seeing the koin tower and omsi and the steel bridge just makes me happy.
i'm very excited that fall is coming. it always makes me feel more alive. i love those days that just feel like halloween. days that smell like leaves and pumpkins and rain...like what crisp smells like. i almost feel renewed even though all around me things are dying so beautifully. black skies, nightmare clouds, thunder, the smell of someone having a fire, the fall of the leaves...i just love it.
questions of the day:
1. what is your favorite color?
2. what is your favorite thing to do in fall?
3. what was the best part about your day today?
reading: king lear, by shakespeare
listening to: "the district sleeps alone tonight" the postal service
shelley
i just feel like there's really not any time anymore. for some reason 16 credits seems like a lot more work than 19 credits did last semester. maybe it's because i'm in class from 9-4 every tuesday and thursday. maybe it's the all the reading i have to do for classes, and just when i think i couldn't possibly have any more homework i get a ridiculous email from one of my professors saying "oh by the way, write me a paper about _____ due tomorrow." just keep piling it on, please. for the first time in my life i feel like i can't get anything done. i don't have time for anything. the days and nights aren't long enough. stress and emotion and lack of sleep has gotten the best of me. there's never any time for anything. i get so easily distracted.
i want to scream and kick and howl like the guys in bands. i want just one day, one day that i have absolutely nothing to do. i want to disappear, just for a day...to not exist....to live in a perfect world.
....
every time i drive home and finish off the twilliger curves and see portland in my sights i fall in love with the city all over again. it's so beautiful. seeing the bridges just feels like home. like somewhere i belong. like i'm so lucky to live in such a beautiful place. i really don't know what it is, but making that last curve and seeing the koin tower and omsi and the steel bridge just makes me happy.
i'm very excited that fall is coming. it always makes me feel more alive. i love those days that just feel like halloween. days that smell like leaves and pumpkins and rain...like what crisp smells like. i almost feel renewed even though all around me things are dying so beautifully. black skies, nightmare clouds, thunder, the smell of someone having a fire, the fall of the leaves...i just love it.
questions of the day:
1. what is your favorite color?
2. what is your favorite thing to do in fall?
3. what was the best part about your day today?
reading: king lear, by shakespeare
listening to: "the district sleeps alone tonight" the postal service
shelley VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
2. The changing colours. But also that I can start wearing my wool pants and coats again.
3. Just woke up, but I'll tell you later.
Reading Dhalgren by Samuel R. Delany
Song of the Day : The Snow White Diner by the Handsome Family.
/
[Edited on Sep 22, 2003]