There are two sides to me I think. There is the side that everyone sees in being a jolly person who has so much to give, is generous , open and very happy.
Then there is the real me who has so much to give but is hidden behind the ring of steel that is my barrier. I wonder how many more sites I need to register on to find someone who wants to actually be with me. I never dreamed that I would be so isolated at this stage in my life. I'd love to get a chance of finding someone that actually wants to get to know me, is willing to accept me for who I am and who I aspire to be.
Yes, I have plenty of online friends and plenty of friends in real life , however I lack the close friends or those I can call to meet up for a coffee or chat in and around my preferred dating range. I have decent profiles that are well written unlike some I have read where people struggle to compose a sentence or need to write in text speak, yet I only ever seem to get emails or messages from those who want an easy way into the Uk. To say it is totally soul destroying is an understatement.
Meanwhile I'll just go back to doing something that gives me great pleasure and continue to add to Flickr.
Then there is the real me who has so much to give but is hidden behind the ring of steel that is my barrier. I wonder how many more sites I need to register on to find someone who wants to actually be with me. I never dreamed that I would be so isolated at this stage in my life. I'd love to get a chance of finding someone that actually wants to get to know me, is willing to accept me for who I am and who I aspire to be.
Yes, I have plenty of online friends and plenty of friends in real life , however I lack the close friends or those I can call to meet up for a coffee or chat in and around my preferred dating range. I have decent profiles that are well written unlike some I have read where people struggle to compose a sentence or need to write in text speak, yet I only ever seem to get emails or messages from those who want an easy way into the Uk. To say it is totally soul destroying is an understatement.
Meanwhile I'll just go back to doing something that gives me great pleasure and continue to add to Flickr.
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Don't let yourself be trampled on and left to rot in your sorrow. You deserve far more than that. Sometimes I think the pain of being alone is far worse than the pain of being hurt, but I'm a sucker for those little moments of happiness, however jaded they may be.
I should have clarified all that on my blog....
I also love Flickr, it is where I find solice, in this crazy world. And I do understand completely what you are saying, in such a big world, why is it so hard to find that someone special, that get's me, that wants to be around me, we don't need to even speak, someone to share what I love with, and visa versa....
I have many "friends", but perhaps 2 real friends, that I can count on no matter what, and for that I am eternally grateful.
I agree with Fallen ^ the pain of being alone is usually worse than the pain of being hurt....and yes, those tiny, fleeting moments of happiness make life wonderful. Life is a rollercoaster, we all go through so much, so many experiences, emotions, and we can never know what it is like to be anyone else. to be in their head, and feel what they feel.
Just continue being yourself, and do what you enjoy, and who knows what will happen....
That's coming from me, who is a particularly moody bitch right now, but I know there is hope, and I have faith....
Take care,
x