Last Friday Battlestar Galatica aired its final episode. And frak me if it wasn't a crushing disappointment. I'd of been less upset if the producers had just come on screen and said the following:
"Hi folks, seems we've written ourselves into a corner. Unfortunately we don't have a satisfying conclusion, so here's some music instead. Thanks for watching, and don't forget spin off show Caprica is on DVD in a month or so"
I really should have seen it coming, after the fantastic opening and the mutiny episodes this season went into statis. Nothing happened; sure there was odd revelation but nothing that couldn't have been condensed into a few episodes. Not five. However I justified this by thinking that they have to deliver a certain amount of episodes, surely the conclusion is going to be barnstorming.
Suspicions arose again during "Day Break Part 1", until the last five minutes nothing happened . Then suddenly the Old Man decides that they are going to rescue Hera. It's not made clear why, but at least something is going to happen.
"Day Break Part 2" starts and its all going well, space battles, drama and all the other things I love about the show. Then Starbuck realises that "All Along the Watchtower" is actually a numeric code for the location of our Earth. From this point the episode travels full speed to Shitsville.
I'll address my problems in a series of points-
1. Hera
Hera being a Cylon/Human hybrid has been set up as incredibly important. So important Adama goes on a suicide mission to save her and a lot of people die. She's rescued and then, well nothing actually. Cavil uses her as bargaining chip to get resurrection technology but that goes tits up and he shoots himself.
I have to ask if they had never gone back for her would it have made any difference?
Of course that sequence of events leads them to Earth, but who's to say Kara wouldn't of worked out the co - ordinates another way. Rescuing Hera was just a McGuffin, a catalyst to get the writers to the end of the show. But not the important character she was set up to be, of course there's reasoning to all this. I'f you'll hang on a bit I'll get to it.
2. Kara Thrace
Starbuck's resurrection has been a major mystery over the course of a season or so. To have her just disappear seems flippant. The explanation that she was sent to lead the human race to Earth is retarded. Its even more retarded when you consider that information comes from an interview with Ronald Moore and isn't in the show. As far as one of my colleagues was concerned she just buggered off while Apollo was waffling about stuff. Thats not an ending for a major character, nor does it make sense.
If she's been sent by God (or whatever his name is) why is she painting all that stuff beforehand? Why does she lead them originally to the wrong Earth? Why is she called the "Harbinger of Death"? Why would you go to effort of reincarnating someone and not tell them the purpose of their existence?
3. New Earth
Oh Lord I don't even know where to start here. It's a good twist, but I hate it.
What I hate more is the assumption that everyone would be happy to go and live there forsaking all technology. We how much the civilians hated it when rations were imposed, telling them that they all had to become farmers and mate with stone age people would cause riots. From working in IT I know people shit bricks when they can't get on the internet, Christ knows what they'd do if you forcibly removed all technology.
Just a bit of scientific reality here the chances of another race evolving with similar DNA to a race from another planet is small very very small. We can't successfully breed with our closest relatives on this planet.
Of course there's a reason behind this, I'm coming to it. Honest.
Not having Adama say goodbye to his closest friend was a bit shit too.
4. Gaius Baltar
Gaius has managed to do a Goody. He maybe the most interesting character on the show, but thats because he's a bastard. A traitorous bastard as well. Have all writers everyone forgotten he is one of primary reasons the human race got (nearly) wiped out? But he says a few spiritual words and all is forgiven. He may well see angels, but these are the same angels that made him and Caprica 6 responsible for the Fall of Caprica.
As I've said though there is reason for this, as far as the writers are concerned anyway.
5. It was all God's plan
Lets recap here, God's plan was thus:
- Have his angels manipulate Baltar and Caprica 6 to make it easy for the Cylons to destroy Caprica.
- The remaining human beings will then spend the next four years floating in space, with all the misery that came from that.
- Eventually dump them on New Earth, but only after killing off most of the Cylons.
God sounds like a bit of twat to me.
"It's God's plan" is usually reserved for those annoying fuckers that like to say things like that when something fucking awful happens. Or in this case when writers can't come up with a better explanation. What really bothers me is that this may of been the plan all along. If thats the case I'd like to say a hearty fuck you to all concerned. Cheers for turning the best science fiction show of our times into the preachings of a lazy priest.
Special praise goes to the coda with "Head Baltar" and "Head 6" acting as if they're in "A Life Less Ordinary", I've not seen something that embarrassingly awful for a while.
(Consider this a first draft, there's more. And I don't just mean a spelling/grammar check)
"Hi folks, seems we've written ourselves into a corner. Unfortunately we don't have a satisfying conclusion, so here's some music instead. Thanks for watching, and don't forget spin off show Caprica is on DVD in a month or so"
I really should have seen it coming, after the fantastic opening and the mutiny episodes this season went into statis. Nothing happened; sure there was odd revelation but nothing that couldn't have been condensed into a few episodes. Not five. However I justified this by thinking that they have to deliver a certain amount of episodes, surely the conclusion is going to be barnstorming.
Suspicions arose again during "Day Break Part 1", until the last five minutes nothing happened . Then suddenly the Old Man decides that they are going to rescue Hera. It's not made clear why, but at least something is going to happen.
"Day Break Part 2" starts and its all going well, space battles, drama and all the other things I love about the show. Then Starbuck realises that "All Along the Watchtower" is actually a numeric code for the location of our Earth. From this point the episode travels full speed to Shitsville.
I'll address my problems in a series of points-
1. Hera
Hera being a Cylon/Human hybrid has been set up as incredibly important. So important Adama goes on a suicide mission to save her and a lot of people die. She's rescued and then, well nothing actually. Cavil uses her as bargaining chip to get resurrection technology but that goes tits up and he shoots himself.
I have to ask if they had never gone back for her would it have made any difference?
Of course that sequence of events leads them to Earth, but who's to say Kara wouldn't of worked out the co - ordinates another way. Rescuing Hera was just a McGuffin, a catalyst to get the writers to the end of the show. But not the important character she was set up to be, of course there's reasoning to all this. I'f you'll hang on a bit I'll get to it.
2. Kara Thrace
Starbuck's resurrection has been a major mystery over the course of a season or so. To have her just disappear seems flippant. The explanation that she was sent to lead the human race to Earth is retarded. Its even more retarded when you consider that information comes from an interview with Ronald Moore and isn't in the show. As far as one of my colleagues was concerned she just buggered off while Apollo was waffling about stuff. Thats not an ending for a major character, nor does it make sense.
If she's been sent by God (or whatever his name is) why is she painting all that stuff beforehand? Why does she lead them originally to the wrong Earth? Why is she called the "Harbinger of Death"? Why would you go to effort of reincarnating someone and not tell them the purpose of their existence?
3. New Earth
Oh Lord I don't even know where to start here. It's a good twist, but I hate it.
What I hate more is the assumption that everyone would be happy to go and live there forsaking all technology. We how much the civilians hated it when rations were imposed, telling them that they all had to become farmers and mate with stone age people would cause riots. From working in IT I know people shit bricks when they can't get on the internet, Christ knows what they'd do if you forcibly removed all technology.
Just a bit of scientific reality here the chances of another race evolving with similar DNA to a race from another planet is small very very small. We can't successfully breed with our closest relatives on this planet.
Of course there's a reason behind this, I'm coming to it. Honest.
Not having Adama say goodbye to his closest friend was a bit shit too.
4. Gaius Baltar
Gaius has managed to do a Goody. He maybe the most interesting character on the show, but thats because he's a bastard. A traitorous bastard as well. Have all writers everyone forgotten he is one of primary reasons the human race got (nearly) wiped out? But he says a few spiritual words and all is forgiven. He may well see angels, but these are the same angels that made him and Caprica 6 responsible for the Fall of Caprica.
As I've said though there is reason for this, as far as the writers are concerned anyway.
5. It was all God's plan
Lets recap here, God's plan was thus:
- Have his angels manipulate Baltar and Caprica 6 to make it easy for the Cylons to destroy Caprica.
- The remaining human beings will then spend the next four years floating in space, with all the misery that came from that.
- Eventually dump them on New Earth, but only after killing off most of the Cylons.
God sounds like a bit of twat to me.
"It's God's plan" is usually reserved for those annoying fuckers that like to say things like that when something fucking awful happens. Or in this case when writers can't come up with a better explanation. What really bothers me is that this may of been the plan all along. If thats the case I'd like to say a hearty fuck you to all concerned. Cheers for turning the best science fiction show of our times into the preachings of a lazy priest.
Special praise goes to the coda with "Head Baltar" and "Head 6" acting as if they're in "A Life Less Ordinary", I've not seen something that embarrassingly awful for a while.
(Consider this a first draft, there's more. And I don't just mean a spelling/grammar check)
I like you.
But you're crazy.