Words! Well I went to the most pretentious bar in the world ever last night, full of guchi and patrick cox shoes, needless to say a tall guy in vest stood out a mile but my mate was working a shift there so it was free booze all night...... which leads me nicely to my point, I have had an epiphany, a moment of clarity if you will. When I'm drunk I could be the funniest man alive or the most insensitive person on the planet - example - an elegant attractive (prada wearing) woman approached me at the bar, idle conversation whilst waiting to be served ensued, I asked if she wanted a drink after a few minutes, she arrogantly took this as a come on, which I wish it was but i have neither the energy or inclination to get with girls and her response was, "no sorry I have a boyfriend, he's a model and (looks me up and down) well......." and turns away from me, so I take this drunken moment to have my say "excuse me" I say, "yes" she turns back to me. So it kinda falls out of my mouth "I'm sorry I think you miss heard me, I said you look fat in those jeans"......... am I hilarious or a cunt, I haven't figured it out yet but the face she pulled was like mastercard............. priceless.
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