all-time favourite duckman quotes -
Duckman - I brake for animals,..if they're big enough to dent my car.
Cornfed - Easy Duckman, I know over two hundered ways to kill a man.
Sherry - You could glue an open jar of rats to his face, then blow torch the other side of the jar so the rats have to eat their way out through his face.
Cornfed - Two hundered one
Duckman - Can it and sell it to someone else Bacon Boy. If I were interested in science I wouldn't have spent all that classroom time at the porno arcade.
Duckman - Duckman. Duckman with a D. In fact PHD. Loveology. Perhaps you'd care to stay after class while I grade on your curves?
Duckman - Thin-skinned no-humor pansies! You tell em an ice breaker or two about women-libbers, gays, environmentalists, several minorities, the homeless, a couple of religions, anorexics, obese people, the handicapped, old-farts, baldness & people who walk real goofy cause they just had a vasectomy and suddenly they get all sensitive! Like I offended one of them or something?
Cornfed - I was once kidnapped by a cabal of kick-boxing Ninja who forced me nightly to play a deadly game of steel cage basketball where the losers where beheaded.
Duckman - Yea... well... I bet there wasn't a shot clock.
Cornfed - Could I use the restroom first?
Bob - Sure you can't miss it. Make a right at the cow bone grinding and marrow extraction room, a quick left at the chicken squeezing ovum cracking pit & then a sharp circle round the gobstopper & gizzard suction chamber.
Cornfed - I'll hold it in.
Duckman - I can't believe they shared their girlfriends withus Corny! I just spent the night with the sexiest, most insatiable, voluptious, adventureous, least inhibited women I've ever met! If she didn't suddenly get a headache.. Woo Hoo! there's no telling what wild and taudry escapades we might
have experienced. How was your night?
Cornfed - Like yours... minus the headache.
Cornfed - Before I met Duckman I was at a crossroads, soul searching, looking for my place in this endless puzzlewe call life. ...You ever wake up in a Cambodian gaming parlour and realize you were living in a dark dank abyss of emptyness & loneliness, then wander the mountains of Asia for two years until you became the chef in a Tibetian monestary?
Cameraman - I just asked what kind of detective Duckman is.
Cornfed - ... oh...
Duckman - An angel Cornfed, one phone call and I was swept away. She is everything I ever hoped for in a woman.
Cornfed - Low standards?
Duckman - I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
Duckman - You! The son of poor Okey Mountain pigs. How'd you afford med school?
Cornfed - Two words... Vivisection volunteer. Sure it hurt, but I'm told as a result of banging me on the head with a large hammer & then slicing open my stomach & digging around in my insides
they were able to rule out two theories on why fat people perspire.
Duckman - Oh.. a worthy cause, so shall we get on with it.
Cornfed - Bend over, grab the desk & grit your teeth.
Duckman - I brake for animals,..if they're big enough to dent my car.
Cornfed - Easy Duckman, I know over two hundered ways to kill a man.
Sherry - You could glue an open jar of rats to his face, then blow torch the other side of the jar so the rats have to eat their way out through his face.
Cornfed - Two hundered one
Duckman - Can it and sell it to someone else Bacon Boy. If I were interested in science I wouldn't have spent all that classroom time at the porno arcade.
Duckman - Duckman. Duckman with a D. In fact PHD. Loveology. Perhaps you'd care to stay after class while I grade on your curves?
Duckman - Thin-skinned no-humor pansies! You tell em an ice breaker or two about women-libbers, gays, environmentalists, several minorities, the homeless, a couple of religions, anorexics, obese people, the handicapped, old-farts, baldness & people who walk real goofy cause they just had a vasectomy and suddenly they get all sensitive! Like I offended one of them or something?
Cornfed - I was once kidnapped by a cabal of kick-boxing Ninja who forced me nightly to play a deadly game of steel cage basketball where the losers where beheaded.
Duckman - Yea... well... I bet there wasn't a shot clock.
Cornfed - Could I use the restroom first?
Bob - Sure you can't miss it. Make a right at the cow bone grinding and marrow extraction room, a quick left at the chicken squeezing ovum cracking pit & then a sharp circle round the gobstopper & gizzard suction chamber.
Cornfed - I'll hold it in.
Duckman - I can't believe they shared their girlfriends withus Corny! I just spent the night with the sexiest, most insatiable, voluptious, adventureous, least inhibited women I've ever met! If she didn't suddenly get a headache.. Woo Hoo! there's no telling what wild and taudry escapades we might
have experienced. How was your night?
Cornfed - Like yours... minus the headache.
Cornfed - Before I met Duckman I was at a crossroads, soul searching, looking for my place in this endless puzzlewe call life. ...You ever wake up in a Cambodian gaming parlour and realize you were living in a dark dank abyss of emptyness & loneliness, then wander the mountains of Asia for two years until you became the chef in a Tibetian monestary?
Cameraman - I just asked what kind of detective Duckman is.
Cornfed - ... oh...
Duckman - An angel Cornfed, one phone call and I was swept away. She is everything I ever hoped for in a woman.
Cornfed - Low standards?
Duckman - I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
Duckman - You! The son of poor Okey Mountain pigs. How'd you afford med school?
Cornfed - Two words... Vivisection volunteer. Sure it hurt, but I'm told as a result of banging me on the head with a large hammer & then slicing open my stomach & digging around in my insides
they were able to rule out two theories on why fat people perspire.
Duckman - Oh.. a worthy cause, so shall we get on with it.
Cornfed - Bend over, grab the desk & grit your teeth.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
on other notes, the picture looks entirely fake but it does make me uneasy, isn't that sad
-->deviance