wahine

I feel really tired and sad today for some reason. my leg is hurting more than usual today. i dislocated my hip 2 months ago and sprained the insertion points on my leg. fucking hurts like a bitch.

when ever i get hurt i get panic attacks. or when i feel really alone i get them. ive been missing my bestfriend alot. she's hasnt really been around much. doing her own thing. it just makes me lonely since i have a hard time making friends and im shy.

i dont know i guess getting down on the fact that i only have like 2 friends who actually want to talk to me an see me is pointless. i guess i understand what some people mean by they hate when some says they will call and they dont.
i know i do it sometimes but it sucks!

i wish i could go back to Hawaii. I'm so much happier when im there. really im happier anywhere other than LA. i wish i didnt have so much responsibility here and i could just get up and disappear and create a new life somewhere else.