Vanity is a funny thing.
Last night I was hating myself.
Tonight I was taking pictures of myself.
I wish my hormones weren't so wacky lately. God bless the Daniel for putting up with this crap. I've been listening to Death Cab and Postal Service all night, too. I'm so emo right now. Not sad emo, just... Mushy style. Fuck periods, and PMS. Not that those are any excuse for this obnoxious behavior.
Rambling UPDATE at 2:20 am:
I've just been feeling like a total piece of shit lately. As harsh as that sounds, its true. I think that I'm constantly annoying people--Probably because I'm annoying myself. I hate being at the point where I hate myself and obviously I'm there again. I just don't know where to start changing but something's gotta give.
I don't like loathing myself so much to the point where I almost cry thinking about all the things I need to change about myself. How long have I been talking about change? And I'm still stressing about it. I don't know if anyone will actually read this either but this is a far cry better than keeping myself up in bed thinking about all of this crap.
The scary part is that its not just the weight I need to change. This self-pity-no-self-esteem thing really needs a swift kick in the ass. I feel like I'm driving people crazy with my neuroticism...and I probably am. I don't mean to and I haven't been catching myself before it happens. I'm just scared to drive people (or a certain person) away with this nonsense. The sad part is that my reaction to this nonsense is probably exactly what would drive them away.
I want to feel sane again. I want to be able to look in the mirror without picking myself apart. I just don't know where it all went wrong and why I became so insecure again. Blah.
Now, back to my original post with my emo lyrics. Enjoy.
I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles
In our eyes are mirror images and when
We kiss they're perfectly aligned
And I have to speculate that God himself
Did make us into corresponding shapes like
Puzzle pieces from the clay
And true, it may seem like a stretch, but
Its thoughts like this that catch my troubled
Head when you're away when I am missing you to death
When you are out there on the road for
Several weeks of shows and when you scan
The radio, I hope this song will guide you home
They will see us waving from such great
Heights, 'come down now,' they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away,
'come down now,' but we'll stay...
I tried my best to leave this all on your
Machine but the persistent beat it sounded
Thin upon listening
And that frankly will not fly. You will hear
The shrillest highs and lowest lows with
The windows down when this is guiding you home
Last night I was hating myself.
Tonight I was taking pictures of myself.
I wish my hormones weren't so wacky lately. God bless the Daniel for putting up with this crap. I've been listening to Death Cab and Postal Service all night, too. I'm so emo right now. Not sad emo, just... Mushy style. Fuck periods, and PMS. Not that those are any excuse for this obnoxious behavior.
Rambling UPDATE at 2:20 am:
I've just been feeling like a total piece of shit lately. As harsh as that sounds, its true. I think that I'm constantly annoying people--Probably because I'm annoying myself. I hate being at the point where I hate myself and obviously I'm there again. I just don't know where to start changing but something's gotta give.
I don't like loathing myself so much to the point where I almost cry thinking about all the things I need to change about myself. How long have I been talking about change? And I'm still stressing about it. I don't know if anyone will actually read this either but this is a far cry better than keeping myself up in bed thinking about all of this crap.
The scary part is that its not just the weight I need to change. This self-pity-no-self-esteem thing really needs a swift kick in the ass. I feel like I'm driving people crazy with my neuroticism...and I probably am. I don't mean to and I haven't been catching myself before it happens. I'm just scared to drive people (or a certain person) away with this nonsense. The sad part is that my reaction to this nonsense is probably exactly what would drive them away.
I want to feel sane again. I want to be able to look in the mirror without picking myself apart. I just don't know where it all went wrong and why I became so insecure again. Blah.
Now, back to my original post with my emo lyrics. Enjoy.
I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles
In our eyes are mirror images and when
We kiss they're perfectly aligned
And I have to speculate that God himself
Did make us into corresponding shapes like
Puzzle pieces from the clay
And true, it may seem like a stretch, but
Its thoughts like this that catch my troubled
Head when you're away when I am missing you to death
When you are out there on the road for
Several weeks of shows and when you scan
The radio, I hope this song will guide you home
They will see us waving from such great
Heights, 'come down now,' they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away,
'come down now,' but we'll stay...
I tried my best to leave this all on your
Machine but the persistent beat it sounded
Thin upon listening
And that frankly will not fly. You will hear
The shrillest highs and lowest lows with
The windows down when this is guiding you home
Dear -tron your'e going to be alright. As far as shedding some pounds it's all about finding an activity you love. If you hate going to the gym and oushing around weights, then don't do that, if you love riding your buike then do that. Find something that you like to physically do and do that everyday. Not as a chore to lose weight but to just be active and do something you like, the weight will lose itself at that point. Eating habits are key as well, as you can imagine. Never eat when you are bored!! Make sure to have plenty of healthy alternatives around to munch on. Stop buying snack foods all together and drink lots of fresh juice and water. Yesterday, I was soo thirsty for some juice but all I had were some oranges. I cut like 6 of them into quarters and just sucked the juice directly. Regular orange juice has added sugar which put on those extra unneeded carbs. Eat fresh and you will lose the pounds. Make attainable goals. After reaching those goals, make new ones, and don't say to yourself, "well I was really good this week, so I'm gonna eat this or that, or have a meal here or there..." this keeps you in a habit... also, drink less, I don't know if you party, but beer and mized drinks put on the pounds, I know your friends seem like they are having fun, but not drinking alcoholic beverages will make you lose the ounds, and finally NO SMOKING, this prevents and active lifestyle, you tire more easily and you become unmotivated to do things, when you have a craving to smoke, go for a brisk walk, or go shoot some hoops, or catch a frisbee
I hope this helps. I hate hearing that you are struggling with this still.