vulgarkov

[lurk lurk lurk]

bwahahah

[lurk lurk lurk lurk...]

If I were a tree, I'd be the handsomest healthiest tree in the park. All the super-hot botanist-chicks would drive fifty-plus miles to handle my bark and manipulate my leaves. (It wouldn't matter to me though because I would be a mutha-fuckin' tree.) All the cool dogs would walk past all of the lesser shrubbery and fire hydrants to pay liquid homage to my magnificence....
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my swank new iPod came today. it's 15G of goodness. I attached it to my iBook and prepared to move all of my mp3s off of my lil' drive. Firewire is fast, but I still had time to go upstairs to my other computer and engage in some iSelfLove. After that quickly finished (a stark reminder of why my porn career ended abruptly in Tokyo...
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I am a spark plug. I fire one synapse at a time... slowly building until the little light bulb glows white hot. Okay, it faintly illuminates the very small room in a sleepy soft gray glow, but at least it's not dark, right?

In the newly created shadows of the corner, that corner there beside the overflowing book case, an idea forms. Not a spectacular...
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Here you go! Here I am!
Uncle Moe -- thank you, ma'am!
This'll be a treat:
Uncle Moe! Here I am, while you eat!