vrykolia's SuicideGirls Blog

So lost....Can't connect with self, can't connect with Dom. Feel like he wasn't there to take care of me like I needed. But it isn't his fault. I was a bad sub....my own fault. Feeling sad....Blarg.

Be better tomorrow....hopefully....

Ever feel like you have been standing behind a door and then one day, the door swings wide open. You then cautiously step through the doorway and your whole perception of the world changes, like you are really seeing everything for the first time, and everything is really seeing you for the first time.

Kinda been feeling like that lately. Wanted to share.

Ummm, yeah,...
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galaxy42:

I"m familiar with that feeling... It's a nice one. I like it.

Nov 18, 2007

Actually happy today. Settled things inside of me over the last couple of days.

Cautiously letting my new partner in, to see all my parts, to stand beside me, to take care of me. I always feared that if I let some one in, to see everything, that would give them power over me. And I couldn't let that happen. But then I realized, I...
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kindle:

Yay! Are you staying over tonight?

Nov 16, 2007

kindle:

Haha, yeah, you should check this more often

Nov 17, 2007

The path stretched into beyond.
A beacon of hope.
The sun shone brightly
The rays a warmth
For such a long time unknown.

The ice began to melt,
Taking the numbing pain away.
Replacing it with feelings,
Foreign to this weary soul.

But as the smile began to form,
And changes started taking place.
A new wind blew,
Bringing with it a deafening roar.

The...
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It seems that after a deep blog, something more light hearted is in order...okay well that and the fact that I worked through some of those aforementioned "pushing" problems from yesterday. Still won't let people in, but going to try hard not to push them away.

Happy news...got a new tattoo, number 7. It is the beginning of a 1/2 sleeve on my right arm....
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Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

Quandary~

The thing I fear the most is being alone, lost inside myself, no light at the end of the tunnel, no port in the storm I create inside myself. Yet when some one pushes, I mean really pushes to be let in,...
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artemiswerewolf:

Yet when some one pushes, I mean really pushes to be let in, to be with me so that I am not alone, I lock down and push them as far away as I can, because I fear that to let them really see me, they will gain a power over me and hurt me with it.

It is possible that could happen, that is why you need to let people in. Friends that close to you can give you a power over yourself that noone can take away.

I hope you don't intend to post only when you have epiphanies. If it's like me, you'd get one once every.. hang on a minute, let me work this out mumblemumblemumble plus the never,mumble, carry the never equals.. never.
Nevermind

Did any of that make sense? If it did, could let me know cause I have no clue.

Nov 13, 2007

deflicted:

dude i sooo wanna use ur crtl alt del theory cause i feel like i need that everyday...

save pts would rock too!!!!!

Nov 13, 2007

Just started to live my life for me after many years hiding behind what I thought I had to be for everyone else. Wanting to connect to people who can appreciate living, for just that, the chance to live.

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