It seems that after a deep blog, something more light hearted is in order...okay well that and the fact that I worked through some of those aforementioned "pushing" problems from yesterday. Still won't let people in, but going to try hard not to push them away.
Happy news...got a new tattoo, number 7. It is the beginning of a 1/2 sleeve on my right arm. It is the character for 'wicked', one aspect of myself....yeah I am a bad girl, thought I would grow out of it, but....Nah, it's too much fun. I have at least 5 more characters to go, then I am having a background of cherry blossoms put around the characters to complete the sleeve.
It's so strange, I felt pretty down yesterday, but then I get ink and reaffirm my 'self' and I feel empowered today. Guess I should try to accomplish something useful ::giggle::.
Quandry~
There are people in my life, from before this change in deciding how I want to live, who I know would break all ties with me if I really let them know some of the things going on in my life....I am so torn, because part of me wants to severe the ties, to REALLY start fresh without them. But then I think about what that really means and it scares me.
Epiphany~
I think I need to take 'scared', 'fear' and 'afraid' out of my damn vocabulary. Without those words, I would be a total badass at this 'life' thing. I mean why am I letting fear rule my life. I am almost willing to lose the best thing in my life right now for fear that I might get hurt....a wise friend told me once 'no risk, no reward', I have given that advice to many...it's time I listened to myself.
But it's hard to hear yourself, when certian people are screaming in your ear....
Happy news...got a new tattoo, number 7. It is the beginning of a 1/2 sleeve on my right arm. It is the character for 'wicked', one aspect of myself....yeah I am a bad girl, thought I would grow out of it, but....Nah, it's too much fun. I have at least 5 more characters to go, then I am having a background of cherry blossoms put around the characters to complete the sleeve.
It's so strange, I felt pretty down yesterday, but then I get ink and reaffirm my 'self' and I feel empowered today. Guess I should try to accomplish something useful ::giggle::.
Quandry~
There are people in my life, from before this change in deciding how I want to live, who I know would break all ties with me if I really let them know some of the things going on in my life....I am so torn, because part of me wants to severe the ties, to REALLY start fresh without them. But then I think about what that really means and it scares me.
Epiphany~
I think I need to take 'scared', 'fear' and 'afraid' out of my damn vocabulary. Without those words, I would be a total badass at this 'life' thing. I mean why am I letting fear rule my life. I am almost willing to lose the best thing in my life right now for fear that I might get hurt....a wise friend told me once 'no risk, no reward', I have given that advice to many...it's time I listened to myself.
But it's hard to hear yourself, when certian people are screaming in your ear....