Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
Quandary~
The thing I fear the most is being alone, lost inside myself, no light at the end of the tunnel, no port in the storm I create inside myself. Yet when some one pushes, I mean really pushes to be let in, to be with me so that I am not alone, I lock down and push them as far away as I can, because I fear that to let them really see me, they will gain a power over me and hurt me with it.
Epiphany~
I just realized why I used to hurt myself and why now I will get a tattoo or piercing during a rough time in my life...I go numb emotionally when I am afraid of being hurt, or when a situation seems really intense. I create an external pain to prove to myself that I can still feel something...that I am still human...that I haven't completely lost the fight.
Quandary~
The thing I fear the most is being alone, lost inside myself, no light at the end of the tunnel, no port in the storm I create inside myself. Yet when some one pushes, I mean really pushes to be let in, to be with me so that I am not alone, I lock down and push them as far away as I can, because I fear that to let them really see me, they will gain a power over me and hurt me with it.
Epiphany~
I just realized why I used to hurt myself and why now I will get a tattoo or piercing during a rough time in my life...I go numb emotionally when I am afraid of being hurt, or when a situation seems really intense. I create an external pain to prove to myself that I can still feel something...that I am still human...that I haven't completely lost the fight.
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Yet when some one pushes, I mean really pushes to be let in, to be with me so that I am not alone, I lock down and push them as far away as I can, because I fear that to let them really see me, they will gain a power over me and hurt me with it.
It is possible that could happen, that is why you need to let people in. Friends that close to you can give you a power over yourself that noone can take away.
I hope you don't intend to post only when you have epiphanies. If it's like me, you'd get one once every.. hang on a minute, let me work this out mumblemumblemumble plus the never,mumble, carry the never equals.. never.
Nevermind
Did any of that make sense? If it did, could let me know cause I have no clue.