vomitious

i'm utterly disenchanted with life. i feel as if i've lost interest in everything. nothing inspires me anymore, and when i rarely am inspired, i lack the energy and effort to act upon it. i used to write all the tyme. i used to draw or paint all the tyme. i used to put my creativity to use. now, it's just wasting away or already a rotten mush. i've had an idea for a painting in my head for at least the past week. i can picture the complete painting in my head, but have i worked on it? of course not. i haven't begun painting, let alone done sketches. maybe if i force myself to do things then my interests and inspirations will return. i don't know.
i'm disenchanted by my disenchantment.