voldenae

So I have a friend, that while I love her to death, has caused me a lot of grief, both intentional and accidental, over the years.

She has a depression problem, it runs in her family, and Im ok with it, Ive helped her cope with it and even encouraged her that seeking help therapeutically and medicinally was not wrong.

Having said this, while she is better now, she still gets almighty upset at irrational things. My friends and I try to prevent these things from occurring because it just isnt nice or fair to subject her to said things.

Well she would be royally angry if she knew that our mutual friend and I hang out a lot since we both live in raleigh. She comments on how she hates us at times because we dont travel almost two hours weekly to come see her. Said mutual buddy offered to let me come to Mardi Gras with him and his friends this year since they were going and one of their other friends had to drop out.

I was ecstatic at this. Ive ALWAYS wanted to go, to the point that my parents hardly raised a word against it when I told them because they knew I would be with safe trustworthy people and that I would love it.

Well, my friend has decided to hold her birthday party a week latethe very weekend we were supposed to slip of to New Orleans. We decided to go a day late to go to her party, but then she pushed it back so now it wouldnt be worth going to Mardi Gras if we go to her party, and she would rage and hate us for always if we ditched her bday party to go to Mardi Gras. Now our mutual buddy has told me the trip isnt going to happen, but then said a few other things that Im not sure if they mean the trip is off, or just Im not longer coming along so that at least I can go to the party to appease her.

Either way, I was denied my Mardi Gras trip, and Im upset. We were going days early so I could explore New Orleans before all celebrating hell broke loose, and nowNothing.

Im actually pretty upset about it, but at the same time I feel like a bitch because Im pissed off that she thwarted my plans for doing something yet again.

My boyfriend told me that I needed to be a big girl and decide that if I had to tiptoe around her and she couldnt handle all her friends having a life, that I shouldnt be her friend any more.

But I cant do that. I dont think Im capable of being that cruel to someoone thats supposed to be my friend. Im confused about how I should feel and if I should guilty that I feel that way or not.

ugh.

people.

sometimessometimes they suck.

At least I can try to go to New Orleans later, or do Mardi Gras next year.