HAHAHAHA just one of the many things we found in Bali...
on another note..............
RANT.........
I'm inside that little bubble that you see in the ice;
Floating upon an juniper sea, in a crystal ship -
Deep within the safety of your snow white hand....
Until the early morning sun leeches the night from our souls -
For what is now melted, is discarded; even less....
Teardrops collide with fire eyes; Face
Habit you cannot break - sits at home and waits.
Love has made me weak, I cannot keep up the fight, and loneliness has closed in. I was never weak. I spend my days staring aimlessly at the walls, rocking in the corner shadows wishing I could just let go. Not a second passes by where love does not cloud my thoughts with silly delusions of maybe someday happiness torn down by the reality of my misery. I am left alone; prey to time and to the world with nowhere to go and nothing to do. Trapped in a permanent state of constant thought, I find contentment yet I have lost the inspiration to vent the vast creativity and divinity that makes me who I am. I just don't know anymore; - caught in the waves of irreversible confusion I try to keep the fairytale in my head as some form of hope, but the rain pouring from my once warmed heart has run the ink that long ago was my soul. I have thrown away myself in order to salvage what's not there. Given up the world; for love is blind. I have become something I'm not, in fear of loss I have forgotten who I am, what I enjoy. Nothing is the same anymore, there is no love there and the love that is here is forever haunted by heartache. I've done all I can do; there is no more, cut my own heart out as an offering to a stone sentinel. I look down upon myself like a roof top gargoyle on the city below, watching as I stumble blindly around looking for the meaning of life or some other unanswerable question that I have decided to try and decipher along the way, heart slowly bleeding out, everything is turning to white. Looking for answers I'll never find because I already know them. But actions I will never take for they prove to be futile against my emotions. Why should I give up now? Somebody kill me please, I'm killing myself without realising it. I am always alone, I'm alone all the time, and I'm lost in the world of my own mind, trying to find some way to piece the puzzle that I am right. Everything I once took pleasure in doing and wish to enjoy again have no motivational values or enthusiastic ideas pushing me forth as being lonely always wins out in the end. I have forgotten how to smile and I have mastered madness but paid for it with my soul, grown so old and withered has my heart yet so young to the eyes and to touch. The long ago social butterfly of life is now enclosed in what looks to be a cocoon, a state of de-evolution, that in truth is a work of art formed by the spider whose fine weavings made her think she saw her reflection in the morning dew. She thinks to herself while entangled in a maze of demise, wings closed and torn: "Everything was perfect once". Happiness is somewhere in the subconscious these days as everything that seems to be bought about with happiness ends up tasting dark and cold. Bringing me back to feeling I have been stripped of all five senses, in return been offered a sixth within my thoughts but have lost my self expression; therefore losing myself. Occasionally residing in the company of very few people I still know doesn't even come close to being in that of my own, everyone is just a dull shade of gray. There is no satisfaction left in anything but the early morning rendezvous of muses and clear spirits - the only time I feel all the trembling sweetness I love and adored. The only time I leave my state of uneasiness and venture out the door. I know there is more to life than this, I've seen. However I have forgotten how to do the things I enjoy most, how to be social, how to communicate in a world where there is no one I know and those who I do know don't know me. I long to start a new, to just be able to be the person I really am, find the people like me, but in a world so superficial and material how can one still appreciate the simple pleasures of life. I am at war with myself. Telling myself I am a fool to sit and ponder on all the spectacles of life, which once were, and to just go do them again, to just go out and "be" if I feel the urge to do something. But the loneliness that sits with loyalty and respect by my side prevails, and here I sit and think the same thoughts, at the same time, over and over again, wishing just for once I could just have a good time. But I don't know what a good time is anymore....
on another note..............
RANT.........
I'm inside that little bubble that you see in the ice;
Floating upon an juniper sea, in a crystal ship -
Deep within the safety of your snow white hand....
Until the early morning sun leeches the night from our souls -
For what is now melted, is discarded; even less....
Teardrops collide with fire eyes; Face
Habit you cannot break - sits at home and waits.
Love has made me weak, I cannot keep up the fight, and loneliness has closed in. I was never weak. I spend my days staring aimlessly at the walls, rocking in the corner shadows wishing I could just let go. Not a second passes by where love does not cloud my thoughts with silly delusions of maybe someday happiness torn down by the reality of my misery. I am left alone; prey to time and to the world with nowhere to go and nothing to do. Trapped in a permanent state of constant thought, I find contentment yet I have lost the inspiration to vent the vast creativity and divinity that makes me who I am. I just don't know anymore; - caught in the waves of irreversible confusion I try to keep the fairytale in my head as some form of hope, but the rain pouring from my once warmed heart has run the ink that long ago was my soul. I have thrown away myself in order to salvage what's not there. Given up the world; for love is blind. I have become something I'm not, in fear of loss I have forgotten who I am, what I enjoy. Nothing is the same anymore, there is no love there and the love that is here is forever haunted by heartache. I've done all I can do; there is no more, cut my own heart out as an offering to a stone sentinel. I look down upon myself like a roof top gargoyle on the city below, watching as I stumble blindly around looking for the meaning of life or some other unanswerable question that I have decided to try and decipher along the way, heart slowly bleeding out, everything is turning to white. Looking for answers I'll never find because I already know them. But actions I will never take for they prove to be futile against my emotions. Why should I give up now? Somebody kill me please, I'm killing myself without realising it. I am always alone, I'm alone all the time, and I'm lost in the world of my own mind, trying to find some way to piece the puzzle that I am right. Everything I once took pleasure in doing and wish to enjoy again have no motivational values or enthusiastic ideas pushing me forth as being lonely always wins out in the end. I have forgotten how to smile and I have mastered madness but paid for it with my soul, grown so old and withered has my heart yet so young to the eyes and to touch. The long ago social butterfly of life is now enclosed in what looks to be a cocoon, a state of de-evolution, that in truth is a work of art formed by the spider whose fine weavings made her think she saw her reflection in the morning dew. She thinks to herself while entangled in a maze of demise, wings closed and torn: "Everything was perfect once". Happiness is somewhere in the subconscious these days as everything that seems to be bought about with happiness ends up tasting dark and cold. Bringing me back to feeling I have been stripped of all five senses, in return been offered a sixth within my thoughts but have lost my self expression; therefore losing myself. Occasionally residing in the company of very few people I still know doesn't even come close to being in that of my own, everyone is just a dull shade of gray. There is no satisfaction left in anything but the early morning rendezvous of muses and clear spirits - the only time I feel all the trembling sweetness I love and adored. The only time I leave my state of uneasiness and venture out the door. I know there is more to life than this, I've seen. However I have forgotten how to do the things I enjoy most, how to be social, how to communicate in a world where there is no one I know and those who I do know don't know me. I long to start a new, to just be able to be the person I really am, find the people like me, but in a world so superficial and material how can one still appreciate the simple pleasures of life. I am at war with myself. Telling myself I am a fool to sit and ponder on all the spectacles of life, which once were, and to just go do them again, to just go out and "be" if I feel the urge to do something. But the loneliness that sits with loyalty and respect by my side prevails, and here I sit and think the same thoughts, at the same time, over and over again, wishing just for once I could just have a good time. But I don't know what a good time is anymore....
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
that pic is FUNNY
post me a quote bitch!!!!!!!!!!!
i found i just had to force myself, up and out of the house, away from thought and analysis
away from my own head
granted, i probably didn't go entirely the right way about it but my only advice is to force urself to do the things that once felt good. don't decline any invitations. do it all. eventually you'll smile. then you'll laugh, and then you'll find yourself again in that laughter and enjoyment. but you can't let your own head beat you. leave it at home, and go out to make the world yours!