vlanic

So I finally returned to Seattle on Monday. I have conflicted feelings about being back -- there are numerous things that annoy me about being back in my hometown (such as a scarcity of good food, and the absolute necessity of having a car), but I was still sad to leave. Seeing E & C every day was a real treat, even though we were spending most of our time together doing work to prepare for their wedding.

Speaking of which, the wedding was incredible. E & C did all of the planning themselves, and their family and friends helped them do all of the preparation work (I put in a lot of hours myself). They also designed the ceremony, which was intensely personal; I felt honored that I got to be the one to smudge E with sage during the initial purification part of the ceremony (C's best friend smudged her). I actually choked up during their ceremony, which I've never done at any wedding, not even my brother's. The uniqueness of the experience made the air hang thick with sincerity and emotion.

To be honest, some part of me was initially jealous of C taking E away from me, as he and I have been friends since elementary school -- I really do love that boy. However, by the time I left, I found I was incredibly happy about the whole thing -- E and his family are like my own family, and now my family has grown to include C. I love them both now, as they are both just amazing people. I nearly cried when I said my goodbye to them, which is highly unusual for me.

Speaking of saying goodbye, H and I had two more nights together before I left, the last one being right before I left. We both decided to drop things at that, as it seemed we would from the beginning. I think we both got something we needed out of the experience; for me that entailed, in part, some restoration of my confidence in that arena. H had her own reasons, but I feel comfortable saying it worked out well for both of us. I do find myself wondering if we are going to stay in touch, though.