vladscrow

looks like its back down depression road. lately ive been stuck in a rut for lack of a better term. i hate the way i look, ive really let myself go since my deployment in iraq. i dont like who i am personally and im lonely as hell. it seems like every girl i really fall for never feels the same way in return. my whole life ive told myself just be patient and she'll come around. well im tierd of waiting. every time i visit home i get a taste of that girl i want but cant have and it makes it that much more difficult for me when i return to my job in NC. i want to feel needed and loved. its been so long since i felt like i really mattered to someone. i havent had a real relationship in 5 years. whats worse is i cant even admit any of this to my real friends or family because im too embarassed, so i post it on here where no one really knows me...wtf i guess we all have issues right?