I'm back.. yay. I slept until 4:30 today. I really needed the fucking sleep. Last night I didn't get too hammered, but the night before.. jesus.
Apparently I was doing shots of everclear.. whoops. After the main party, I went back to my neighbor's apartment.. where (supposedly) I received dual lap dances from my neighbors, was pantsed 7+ times, and attempted to break into the apartment complexes pool... damn blackouts.
I then awoke to my neighbor dry humping me, moaning, and reaching for my genitals. Not being one to let oppurtunity pass, I cooperated with the inevitable. Or at least started to. I'm feeling her up, rounding third, and charging home.. when URNT URNT URNT URNT URNT URNT NO PUSSY FOR YOU PAUL. HER FUCKING ALARM GOES OFF FOR WORK! She rolls away. And I stumble to the bathroom to throwup my innards.
She then carts my ass to work.. where I have to fend off death dealing blows from my superiors about my extremely high level of intoxication. Thankfully they are cool people and didn't rip off my nuts. My assistant manager was even willing to forgive me upon hearing about how I almost got laid, I think she may be tired of my constantly hitting on her. All and all.. a fun night.
P.S. I also managed to lose my wallet and a single shoe.
Apparently I was doing shots of everclear.. whoops. After the main party, I went back to my neighbor's apartment.. where (supposedly) I received dual lap dances from my neighbors, was pantsed 7+ times, and attempted to break into the apartment complexes pool... damn blackouts.
I then awoke to my neighbor dry humping me, moaning, and reaching for my genitals. Not being one to let oppurtunity pass, I cooperated with the inevitable. Or at least started to. I'm feeling her up, rounding third, and charging home.. when URNT URNT URNT URNT URNT URNT NO PUSSY FOR YOU PAUL. HER FUCKING ALARM GOES OFF FOR WORK! She rolls away. And I stumble to the bathroom to throwup my innards.
She then carts my ass to work.. where I have to fend off death dealing blows from my superiors about my extremely high level of intoxication. Thankfully they are cool people and didn't rip off my nuts. My assistant manager was even willing to forgive me upon hearing about how I almost got laid, I think she may be tired of my constantly hitting on her. All and all.. a fun night.
P.S. I also managed to lose my wallet and a single shoe.
Bwaaa hahahahhahahahaaaaaa!!