After four long hard days of getting pretty fucking hammered every night, I'm finally ready to quit. A cold beer after work doesn't even sound appealing right now (okay, well.. not too appealing).
Nothing all that eventful happend, besides my neighbor fucking my shit up in a beer dousing fight. It started two days ago, when she randomly just dumped a beer on me. I bidded my time, and did nothing to retaliate, that night anyways.
The next night, however, we were standing in her kitchen, and I just dumped a sip or twos worth in her hair, then it was on. Beer was flying everywhere as we madly reached for anything with liquid in it. I thoroughly drenched her. Granted I didn't walk away unscathed, but I clearly won. She was pissed, and I covered my nuts to protect them for the rest of the night.
The next night, at my place we were on the porch funneling some beer, when I decided it was a good time to get the rest of my revenge. I dumped a good bit and suddenly it was a fucking war. Axis vs motherfucking Allies. The evil Axis powers were handing her half full beers, and anything with even just a touch of beer left in it, meanwhile my Allies are opening beers, taking sips, then shoving them in front of me, fueling my onslaught of beastial beer pouring rage.
Sensing defeat (or maybe seeing how little beer I had on me in comparison to how drenched she was), Beth starts to fight dirty, and smacks my across the face a number of times, rings biting deep into my lip, nose, and right above my eye. My ninja training bursts into full affect when I realize just what is happening. I dodge to the side, then duck under her next blow. Her next flailing fist I side step, then pluck her wrist about of mid air, giving it a sharp twist as I jack it up behind her back. She is subdued, wailing about how I'm going to break her arm. She struggles, and I whisper in her ear that she needs to calm the fuck down. She submits to my awesome fighting prowess, and goes home sobbing.
The next day, we smile, apologize, and both brag about how we kicked each other's ass. I have a great fucking neighbor.
Nothing all that eventful happend, besides my neighbor fucking my shit up in a beer dousing fight. It started two days ago, when she randomly just dumped a beer on me. I bidded my time, and did nothing to retaliate, that night anyways.
The next night, however, we were standing in her kitchen, and I just dumped a sip or twos worth in her hair, then it was on. Beer was flying everywhere as we madly reached for anything with liquid in it. I thoroughly drenched her. Granted I didn't walk away unscathed, but I clearly won. She was pissed, and I covered my nuts to protect them for the rest of the night.
The next night, at my place we were on the porch funneling some beer, when I decided it was a good time to get the rest of my revenge. I dumped a good bit and suddenly it was a fucking war. Axis vs motherfucking Allies. The evil Axis powers were handing her half full beers, and anything with even just a touch of beer left in it, meanwhile my Allies are opening beers, taking sips, then shoving them in front of me, fueling my onslaught of beastial beer pouring rage.
Sensing defeat (or maybe seeing how little beer I had on me in comparison to how drenched she was), Beth starts to fight dirty, and smacks my across the face a number of times, rings biting deep into my lip, nose, and right above my eye. My ninja training bursts into full affect when I realize just what is happening. I dodge to the side, then duck under her next blow. Her next flailing fist I side step, then pluck her wrist about of mid air, giving it a sharp twist as I jack it up behind her back. She is subdued, wailing about how I'm going to break her arm. She struggles, and I whisper in her ear that she needs to calm the fuck down. She submits to my awesome fighting prowess, and goes home sobbing.
The next day, we smile, apologize, and both brag about how we kicked each other's ass. I have a great fucking neighbor.
Um, basically, I was going for Megan, but Brandon got there first. And since it's Brandon, and his reasons for sleeping in her room (allergies to cats about as bad as mine: he got no sleep the night before due to asthema) were valid, I didn't feel like pressing the issue with him.
There is always next weekend anyway.
(If I were you, I'd expect a late night call this week