My neighbor rocks, and I'm a horrible person
So its 1am, and I'm bored. I walk over to my next door neighbor's apartment (Beth), and the door is wide open. I guess with as much booze in her freezer as she had, she was just waiting for me to show up.
There are two guys there who I've never seen before, which is odd because I've partied with Beth a good deal and know most of her friends. They look at me like, "Great, another dick to compete with in our quest for pussy."
Beth quickly explains that Conrad and Josh were in Claire's store the other day (Claire is also present) and they just hit it off. Conrad and Josh are int he army, and just got back from 8 weeks of lockdown training i.e. they haven't seen a woman in two weeks.
Things are a bit akward at first, but I quickly slip into host mode, which means I become a shot whore and force everyone into taking a shot every 10 minutes or so.
Alcohol definately loosens things up a great deal. We are shooting the shit, acting like long lost friends. A few shots later, Beth's boyfriend and his best friend (David) show up, as well as some douche bag that Beth allows over because he always smokes her up. Their arrival prompts me to cajole everyone into another round of shots.
Claire is a fucking lightweight, I vaguely remember telling her that 151 is a little too strong for her, and that she should stick to the smirnoff (obvious foreshadowing). She does two shots of 151, a shot of tequila, and a shot of vodka, and she is fucking obliterated. We are all standing around in the kitchen, and she is grinding her ass into Conrads cock, while he is feeling her up. Her shirt is halfway up, the bottom of her bra sticking out, when I take evasive action, and force another shot down everyone (minus Claire's) throat.. just to occupy Conrad's hands long enough for the shirt to come back down. They go back to dry humping, and I go into the living room, getting sick of seeing them getting it on. I'm starting to get bored so I chuck a coffee type lollipop thing at Claire's head.. it hits her right inbetween the eyes and she goes spinning out of control, slamming into the fridge, grabbing Conrad's dick, and then landing on her ass. Damn I'm a good shot.
Someone (maybe me) suggests strip twister. I say it should be a 'couples' game, so only Chris, Conrad, Beth, and Claire are playing. Josh and I are incharge of spinning the wheel. What this really means is that Josh and I are in charge of figuring out what manuver will fuck the girls up the most, while not fucking the guys too badly. We make a hell of a team. Claire is naked in under 5 minutes, completely naked. Even though Claire's face could use about 20k's worth of plastic surgery, her body is incredible, and we are all digging it. Sadly, Beth only got down to her bra. The whole time we are playing, David is sitting there with a digital video camera, committing everything to its memory.
Claire is completely smashed and litterally in heat. She is groping Conrad at every chance she gets.
Claire stops playing, realizing she has nothing left to lose, and comes over to me, climbs on top of me, starting grinding her naked cooch into my crotch, rubbing her tits in my face, and asking why I always make fun of her. I frantically push her off before I decide that me getting laid is more important than my newfound army buddies. I shove her in the direction of Josh and Conrad, telling her that they'll be more than happy to fuck her. She takes this to heart and literally drags Conrad into Beth's bedroom. Beth is a patriotic American, and believe that these guys deserve a little action, so she doesn't interfere. David is another story all together though. He busts in like six times with the camera.. getting a good bit of shit on film. Finally they oust in, just as Josh heads in. None of us (including Claire) is sure what transpired over that 30 minute period of time that they were alone.
Of course I'm still badgering people into taking shots. Beth is completely fucked up, and needs to vomit. She goes into her bathroom, and starts unleashing. She is in there for about twenty minutes (btw, she told me this during our bi-weekly chess game tonight). The whole time, she hears Claire's mantra of *moan moan moan* Oh stop it hurts *moan moan moan* HARDER! *moan moan* Stop baby it hurts*. Beth walks out of the bathroom and goes "*moan moan* It hurts, boo-fucking-woo bitch, get over it." This is why she rocks.
At this point, I've left (I have to get up in 3 hours, and as it was I stumbled to the bus stop, having to puke three times on the way).
So I'm at Beth's place, and Beth is telling me about how when Claire woke up, saw the used condom, she exclaims, "Wow! Someone sure did get it on last night!" Beth's phone rings, and low and behold, its Claire, army slut extroidinaire. Beth motions me to come closer so I can hear what is being said, "I fucked up real bad last night. I think I fucked both of them." Beth and I burst out laughing, and Beth explains that it was her patriotic duty to give these men some booty. At this, Claire is comforted, and stops feeling like such a whore. Anyways.. it was a fun night.
P.S. Beth had this awesome little booty dance going.. while doing this dance, she kept chanting, "Claire's a ho! Claire's a ho!"
So its 1am, and I'm bored. I walk over to my next door neighbor's apartment (Beth), and the door is wide open. I guess with as much booze in her freezer as she had, she was just waiting for me to show up.
There are two guys there who I've never seen before, which is odd because I've partied with Beth a good deal and know most of her friends. They look at me like, "Great, another dick to compete with in our quest for pussy."
Beth quickly explains that Conrad and Josh were in Claire's store the other day (Claire is also present) and they just hit it off. Conrad and Josh are int he army, and just got back from 8 weeks of lockdown training i.e. they haven't seen a woman in two weeks.
Things are a bit akward at first, but I quickly slip into host mode, which means I become a shot whore and force everyone into taking a shot every 10 minutes or so.
Alcohol definately loosens things up a great deal. We are shooting the shit, acting like long lost friends. A few shots later, Beth's boyfriend and his best friend (David) show up, as well as some douche bag that Beth allows over because he always smokes her up. Their arrival prompts me to cajole everyone into another round of shots.
Claire is a fucking lightweight, I vaguely remember telling her that 151 is a little too strong for her, and that she should stick to the smirnoff (obvious foreshadowing). She does two shots of 151, a shot of tequila, and a shot of vodka, and she is fucking obliterated. We are all standing around in the kitchen, and she is grinding her ass into Conrads cock, while he is feeling her up. Her shirt is halfway up, the bottom of her bra sticking out, when I take evasive action, and force another shot down everyone (minus Claire's) throat.. just to occupy Conrad's hands long enough for the shirt to come back down. They go back to dry humping, and I go into the living room, getting sick of seeing them getting it on. I'm starting to get bored so I chuck a coffee type lollipop thing at Claire's head.. it hits her right inbetween the eyes and she goes spinning out of control, slamming into the fridge, grabbing Conrad's dick, and then landing on her ass. Damn I'm a good shot.
Someone (maybe me) suggests strip twister. I say it should be a 'couples' game, so only Chris, Conrad, Beth, and Claire are playing. Josh and I are incharge of spinning the wheel. What this really means is that Josh and I are in charge of figuring out what manuver will fuck the girls up the most, while not fucking the guys too badly. We make a hell of a team. Claire is naked in under 5 minutes, completely naked. Even though Claire's face could use about 20k's worth of plastic surgery, her body is incredible, and we are all digging it. Sadly, Beth only got down to her bra. The whole time we are playing, David is sitting there with a digital video camera, committing everything to its memory.
Claire is completely smashed and litterally in heat. She is groping Conrad at every chance she gets.
Claire stops playing, realizing she has nothing left to lose, and comes over to me, climbs on top of me, starting grinding her naked cooch into my crotch, rubbing her tits in my face, and asking why I always make fun of her. I frantically push her off before I decide that me getting laid is more important than my newfound army buddies. I shove her in the direction of Josh and Conrad, telling her that they'll be more than happy to fuck her. She takes this to heart and literally drags Conrad into Beth's bedroom. Beth is a patriotic American, and believe that these guys deserve a little action, so she doesn't interfere. David is another story all together though. He busts in like six times with the camera.. getting a good bit of shit on film. Finally they oust in, just as Josh heads in. None of us (including Claire) is sure what transpired over that 30 minute period of time that they were alone.
Of course I'm still badgering people into taking shots. Beth is completely fucked up, and needs to vomit. She goes into her bathroom, and starts unleashing. She is in there for about twenty minutes (btw, she told me this during our bi-weekly chess game tonight). The whole time, she hears Claire's mantra of *moan moan moan* Oh stop it hurts *moan moan moan* HARDER! *moan moan* Stop baby it hurts*. Beth walks out of the bathroom and goes "*moan moan* It hurts, boo-fucking-woo bitch, get over it." This is why she rocks.
At this point, I've left (I have to get up in 3 hours, and as it was I stumbled to the bus stop, having to puke three times on the way).
So I'm at Beth's place, and Beth is telling me about how when Claire woke up, saw the used condom, she exclaims, "Wow! Someone sure did get it on last night!" Beth's phone rings, and low and behold, its Claire, army slut extroidinaire. Beth motions me to come closer so I can hear what is being said, "I fucked up real bad last night. I think I fucked both of them." Beth and I burst out laughing, and Beth explains that it was her patriotic duty to give these men some booty. At this, Claire is comforted, and stops feeling like such a whore. Anyways.. it was a fun night.
P.S. Beth had this awesome little booty dance going.. while doing this dance, she kept chanting, "Claire's a ho! Claire's a ho!"
You realize we've been on spring break for 3 days now, and you have yet to party with us? And nothing crazy has really happened to me yet; that weird guy with Megan doesn't count because I was not feeling mean enough to do anything but a passive cockblock.