vladdic

Last night rocked. First off.. I hadn't slept in two days, so I was just entering that first stage of delerium.. when its all still just fun and games. I went down to party at Deckwreck and Suprpkl's new apartment. It started out pretty slow, and I was only drinking moderately. Taking into account I had to work in the morning, was low on adderall, and was about 20 hours shy of a even my scant sleep requirement for the week, I decided to head on home. I almost wish I hadn't, I heard some fun shit when down.. but oh well.. back to whats important: me.

So I get home.. and realize the whole reason I went out in the first place was to get away from the party my roommate was giving for her boyfriend's birthday. I walk in expecting the worst. To my suprise though, there are a lot of my roommate and I's mutual friends that I really have seen in a while. I start drinking heavily.

Things start to slow down a bit, my roommate is off fucking her boyfriend and I'm thrust into the position of host. I'm starting to get bored, and I'm wondering what I can do to liven things up a bit. I start telling people a couple of my funnier stories, ending with how I pissed all over my neighbor's (we'll call her Fatty) matress and clothes, then swallowed her fish. Fatty was recently kicked out for not paying her rent, and hiding eviction notices from her very cool roommate, Beth. I'm not really sure if someone called bullshit on me swallowing the fish, or if someone suggest I do it again.. but we make a field trip over the Beth's apartment and I grab the last surviving fish (I only swallowed one other, the other 3 died because of Fatty's laziness and refusal to change the skank ass water). Its a goldfish.. a pretty fucking big one. I bring him back over in a shot glass that he'll barely fit in. I'm staring at the my fish-shot, having slight reservations, but my audience urges me on. I open up the hatch and send this here fish to the great beyond. Little fucker fought all the way down. Beth is saying how I have to take the fish tank, and how she'll tell Fatty that she gave it to me to 'take care of'. I don't want some skank ass fish tank, but Beth begs. I go.. get the tank.. then promptly throw it off the deck into the woods behind my apartment. I am the best host ever, never a dull moment.

So this stupid fuck who works with the birthday boy starts talking to me, basically worshipping me. He said something to the affect of.. "How do you do it? No matter who I see, they either know you, or know of you. People are always talking about shit you do, everything seems to revolved around you." I look at him in blank incomprehension, then immediately start making fun of him. I really don't like this kid. I tell him that if he didn't fucking suck so much, people might revolve around him, that if he wasn't such a waste of male ejaculation, that maybe he to would be popular. I realize that I feel better than I have in the last two weeks. It dawns on me that talking shit to people, especially while drunk, is very theraputic. I think, I may be the messiah.