So I think I am a bit overdue here...
2004 was the longest year ever it seems. I think everything bad that could have happened in 365 days did. Family problems, work issues, neverending heartache, betrayal, bankruptcy, sickness, loneliness, and death, to name a few. Alcohol got me through most of it but I was never quite clear whether that helped or made things worse....
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2004 was the longest year ever it seems. I think everything bad that could have happened in 365 days did. Family problems, work issues, neverending heartache, betrayal, bankruptcy, sickness, loneliness, and death, to name a few. Alcohol got me through most of it but I was never quite clear whether that helped or made things worse....
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VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
jayde__:
Thank you, beautiful! 
lostinmusic84:
everyone knows ray......trust me, you dont want to work at discount records, unless you want to lose a passion for music and be very poor. i want a better job that helps me to pay for the apartment and such. i'll make it out that way soon, promises. i'll wait for that trouble. later. 
I am alive- just barely.
What do you do when you open your eyes and realize you are so much better than what you have been putting yourself through?
When you see how much of a mess it has created, where do you begin to pick up the pieces?
Where do you find the strength to start over?
How do you do it when you...
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What do you do when you open your eyes and realize you are so much better than what you have been putting yourself through?
When you see how much of a mess it has created, where do you begin to pick up the pieces?
Where do you find the strength to start over?
How do you do it when you...
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VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
stillbreathing:
How are things? Haven't gave a yell out to ya in awhile so I thought I'd stop by. Hope your holiday and New Years was cool. Stop by an say hey soon...
Man I was getting tired of looking at that entry...
I had a few people I know put up a fuss about the last one, worrying and complaining that I was fucking my life up.
Well I was, but what they didn't realize was all I have had going on in my life, in my head.
The hardest part was getting out of it.
But...
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I had a few people I know put up a fuss about the last one, worrying and complaining that I was fucking my life up.
Well I was, but what they didn't realize was all I have had going on in my life, in my head.
The hardest part was getting out of it.
But...
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VIEW 25 of 72 COMMENTS
iliedmyfaceoff:
Happy birthday!!!
metro:
Happy birthday miss ya...hopin' you're ok...
miss ya...hopin' you're ok...Well hell.
It's been nearly two months since I updated- I suppose it's about that time.
I've been so busy being reckless and irresponsible that I haven't had time to sit and collect my thoughts for a long time.
There hasn't been a night in months that I haven't drank myself into oblivion just to drown out the deafening buzz of loneliness and misery.
Yes...
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It's been nearly two months since I updated- I suppose it's about that time.
I've been so busy being reckless and irresponsible that I haven't had time to sit and collect my thoughts for a long time.
There hasn't been a night in months that I haven't drank myself into oblivion just to drown out the deafening buzz of loneliness and misery.
Yes...
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VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
admitourmistakes:
You haven't updated in a while because you missed me... duh
But I am back so, stop partying, get your life back together, take lil Covin to the friggin' beach and get over your fear and take hold of that love once again!!
Love you girl...
But I am back so, stop partying, get your life back together, take lil Covin to the friggin' beach and get over your fear and take hold of that love once again!!
Love you girl...
jayde__:
Hey there... I hope everything is okay with you...
*hugs*
*hugs*
The past few weeks have been a challenge- to say the least.
I know I promised a long update- and it's coming, but for now I will briefly describe whats been goin on.
Remove your heart from your chest, take it to a shooting range, throw it in the air and yell "fire!". When it falls to the ground looking like swiss cheese, stomp on...
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I know I promised a long update- and it's coming, but for now I will briefly describe whats been goin on.
Remove your heart from your chest, take it to a shooting range, throw it in the air and yell "fire!". When it falls to the ground looking like swiss cheese, stomp on...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 31 COMMENTS
craptastic:
Life is unfair..but remember this. (clearing throat) Everything will be ok in the end, and if things are not ok right now, then this isn't the end. Cheer up gurl, things will improve. You're too adorable to be this sad. what happened???
zarphin:
June 7th!!!!!! do you see that. This is not a happy face, 
however it is a supportive face. 
I hope you are well call me if you need anything.
however it is a supportive face. I hope you are well call me if you need anything.my brain is both too sleepy and too full to possibly write all i have to say right now. a nice long entry is past due and on its way though i promise. all my ailments finally subsided and i am all better now. i'm down to 2 jobs instead of 3, so i've had more opportunities to get out and get into trouble- which...
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VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
ojaeflo:
Vix! Where ya at?
zarphin:
Hey sweetums. I'm sorry i can't make it tonight. I'm busy figuring something out for my dad, and hopefully i'll actually get to see my girl tonight. I haven't had a conversation with her since monday. So I'm really lonely now, and i just want to talk to her, and see how her week has been,a dn tell her about mine. Sorry I know you're lonely too. I promise we'll hang out, and play real soon.
damn i think i am destined to be sick forever. i took all of my meds for the laryngitis , bronchitis, sinusitus combo, and 2 days later its back. so i had to spend more money on more meds, and if im not better in 2 days i gotta go get xrays. i'm still sayin i should be shot like a lame mule.
but anyways....
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but anyways....
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VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
pr0ject605:
Well, the time has come for my account to expire. I wish I'd gotten to talk to you more, because you rock and all... and your words always take me to a place I don't get to very often. But, as it is I'll be gone soon, and just wanted to say thanks for being an awesome friend and I wish you all the best. Nothing but 
for you
for you
pr0ject605:
oh, and in case I never told you before... and you didn't know I thought it, you're absolutely beautiful.
In all aspects of the word.
In all aspects of the word.
It was gorgeous out today, and for once I was off to enjoy it. I took my bestest friend out to eat cuz it was her bday the other day. We filled our tummies then sat outside by the lake and had a drink while Covin played on the playground. Me n Cowie also took a walk/bike ride around the block. I miss being outside....
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VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
runelateralus:
"p.s. rune i like how you ahem... dropped that sly hint about the ride... 
"
Heh. Well, I pretty much wrote down my response, and while re-reading it before I hit submit, I figured out how it would.
Me: Transportation could be tricky.
Jayde: Yeah, I can understand. Hey I know, doesn't vixennyx live near you though? She could give you a ride
Me: That's it right! I should ask her.
Jayde: Yes you should.
Me: And I shall.
See, I used my resources to cut out 5 comments, saving space for more comments for others as well!
...
(you're not buying it are you?)
[Edited on Apr 18, 2004 6:01PM]
"
Heh. Well, I pretty much wrote down my response, and while re-reading it before I hit submit, I figured out how it would.
Me: Transportation could be tricky.
Jayde: Yeah, I can understand. Hey I know, doesn't vixennyx live near you though? She could give you a ride
Me: That's it right! I should ask her.
Jayde: Yes you should.
Me: And I shall.
See, I used my resources to cut out 5 comments, saving space for more comments for others as well!
...
(you're not buying it are you?)
[Edited on Apr 18, 2004 6:01PM]
jayde__:
Yeah, that's exactly how things happened. Riiiight.
Anyway, thanks for the congratulations! I'm alternating between excitement and anxiety over it, you know?
Anyway, thanks for the congratulations! I'm alternating between excitement and anxiety over it, you know?
Happy Easter. Pssh. Stupid holiday. Well, it's fun for kids, but what the hell is the correlation between a bunny, a basket, and some eggs anyways?
I worked all day, from noon till 1 am. But I did get to do the whole egg thing w/ Covin. She wore her pretty new Easter dress and I curled her hair and she was soooo pretty. Sniff......
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I worked all day, from noon till 1 am. But I did get to do the whole egg thing w/ Covin. She wore her pretty new Easter dress and I curled her hair and she was soooo pretty. Sniff......
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VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
kingcrac:
About your putting love in the freezer. I say take it where and when you find it. There never is another time.
kingcrac:
Exactly. You have to be able to accept it when it happens or not at all.
Here I go again
Slipping further away
Letting go again
Of what keeps me in place
I like it here
But it scares me to death
There is nothing here
The light is beautiful
But Im darker than light
And you are wonderful
But this moment is mine
All of this dust
All of this past
All of this over and gone
And never coming...
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Slipping further away
Letting go again
Of what keeps me in place
I like it here
But it scares me to death
There is nothing here
The light is beautiful
But Im darker than light
And you are wonderful
But this moment is mine
All of this dust
All of this past
All of this over and gone
And never coming...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
jayde__:
I'm still trying to decide if love is an enemy or just a really fucked up sort of friend.
siiix:
I almost bought a car that is very close to you, but someone beat me to it. I was looking up Manhattan, IL and noticed New Lenox is pretty close. Maybe the guy that beat me to the car will back out and I will be out your way soon.
been sicker than sick lately- flu, laryngitis, bronchitis, and sinusitis all at once. i'm so talented.
i'm all drugged up right now.
hmmm whats new...
got a new tattoo with another two coming possibly monday, my hair is a bright ketchuppy red, took covin to see the new disney movie home on the range (it was a good thing my friend let us in for...
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i'm all drugged up right now.
hmmm whats new...
got a new tattoo with another two coming possibly monday, my hair is a bright ketchuppy red, took covin to see the new disney movie home on the range (it was a good thing my friend let us in for...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
fishf5:
damn when can you come kick my ass but i might enjoy that and what pool hall you work at i'm looking for new places to get drunk at i mean drink at. I'm sorry that your sick...i need to get some meds for my cold that i have right now. mmmm meds. well get better soon.
siiix:
I like your pictures! Your daughter is SO cute!
It sounds like you need some chicken noodle soup. Works for me.
It sounds like you need some chicken noodle soup. Works for me.
Fuck my heart hurts.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
kingcrac:
I'm so sorry. Please feel better
desmobile:
hope you'll feel better, have a nice day