"The unknown," said Faxe's soft voice in the forest, "the unforetold, the unproven, that is what life is based on. Ignorance is the ground of thought. Unproof is the ground of action. If it were proven that there is no God there would be no religion. [..] But also if it were proven that there is a God, there would be no religion..Tell me, Genry,...
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tiredness fuels empty thoughts
i find myself disposed
brightness fills empty space
in search of inspiration
- Eskimo, by Damien Rice
Today I am tired and hungover and got nothing deep to say. See lyrics above.
Went to the Damien Rice concert last night. Was excellent. He has a sparse raw sound and I am reminded how important live music is. The way he pours...
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i find myself disposed
brightness fills empty space
in search of inspiration
- Eskimo, by Damien Rice
Today I am tired and hungover and got nothing deep to say. See lyrics above.
Went to the Damien Rice concert last night. Was excellent. He has a sparse raw sound and I am reminded how important live music is. The way he pours...
Read More
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
doghouse_reilly:
hey, I was in love with everyone here today too.
coincidentally, it was my day off.
maybe that's not a coincidence.
coincidentally, it was my day off.
maybe that's not a coincidence.
robarales:
dude viv, u r so wonderful
"He invested his passion in objects, which provided him with values that were variously aesthetic, historical, spiritual, snobbish but above all controllable; objects presented the bright safe surface of things."
From Gothic
Richard Davenport-Hines
The accumulation of material goods always confuses me. I dont consider myself materialistic, but, I won't lie; shiny is seductive. I have a shiny apartment filled with shiny household objects. I...
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From Gothic
Richard Davenport-Hines
The accumulation of material goods always confuses me. I dont consider myself materialistic, but, I won't lie; shiny is seductive. I have a shiny apartment filled with shiny household objects. I...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
tangledupinblue:
I think very little scares my baseball friends. I mean, as far as the mystical goes. We have the Billy Goat curse, and the Curse of the Bambino. Interesting thought, about what is the mystical, the touch of the divine. I guess I'm looking for something more visceral -- something to be present, more of a pit of the stomach feeling. It doesn't have to be as dramatic as the burning bush, but maybe, hell, I don't know, I was hoping to be moved for no reason. Would it change my life? Might assuage some anxiety, some feelings of feeling scared and disconnected from home, from where I should be, from feeling "like a motherless child".
But maybe being moved for ANY reason is proof enough of divinity. Maybe just what I've been taught of as mundane causality has driven out the mystical explanations from every day life. "The spirits of wood and stream grow silent. The one God comes to drive out the many." Nice when you can get your theology from Excalibur. I wonder if my questioning of where all the Gods have gone has just been answered by Cliff Floyd, my left fielder, the fulcrum upon which my offense turns, just pulled up as though he had been shot in the hip trying to beat out a base hit. It's like this, and now I'll shut up because I really have got negative eloquence going today. I firmly believe there is something far far grander than I understand at work in the world and in the universe(s). I just am frustrated at my own inability to even begin to know how to access it. I feel like a blind man in a jail cell who spends all day walking into walls.
But maybe being moved for ANY reason is proof enough of divinity. Maybe just what I've been taught of as mundane causality has driven out the mystical explanations from every day life. "The spirits of wood and stream grow silent. The one God comes to drive out the many." Nice when you can get your theology from Excalibur. I wonder if my questioning of where all the Gods have gone has just been answered by Cliff Floyd, my left fielder, the fulcrum upon which my offense turns, just pulled up as though he had been shot in the hip trying to beat out a base hit. It's like this, and now I'll shut up because I really have got negative eloquence going today. I firmly believe there is something far far grander than I understand at work in the world and in the universe(s). I just am frustrated at my own inability to even begin to know how to access it. I feel like a blind man in a jail cell who spends all day walking into walls.
robarales:
You can only be independent of God while youve got youth and prosperity; independence wont take you safely to the end
I'm playin' hooky from work today.
I've had extra coffee - the good Italian kind. I am discussing the concept of Divine Will via email with my Spiritual Boyfriend (see: crush). I just spent a delicious hour reading up on Oliver Stone's "Alexander". I got new gay porn!
Does it get any better?
What are your simple pleasures? What does your perfect "playin' hooky" day...
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I've had extra coffee - the good Italian kind. I am discussing the concept of Divine Will via email with my Spiritual Boyfriend (see: crush). I just spent a delicious hour reading up on Oliver Stone's "Alexander". I got new gay porn!
Does it get any better?
What are your simple pleasures? What does your perfect "playin' hooky" day...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
tangledupinblue:
I need more Viv in my life!
robarales:
hmm well i had a hookie day recently. I spent most of the morning in my underwear, woke myself up with cakes and carbo phosphates. read alot of huxleys - Island, showered, worked on my car, and at night i got drunk.
actually, i dont even have to play hookie, that is pretty much my "every day"
actually, i dont even have to play hookie, that is pretty much my "every day"
The ancient Greeks have eros, storg, phila and agpe. All different words for different kinds of love. I do not know if the human form- flesh, mind and spirit -is capable of more than one at a time. The Greeks do not seem to say. But from experience, I think not.
Me, I am ruled always by dominance, never by democracy. One always seems to...
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Me, I am ruled always by dominance, never by democracy. One always seems to...
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nofi:
that is a difficult one. but i think i would have to say a oneness with all humanity because it seems that would encompass all of the other choices.
nofi:
oh...except a god's benediction, unless you believe that god is/was man.
Goths reject the bourgeois sense of human identity as a serious business, stable, abiding and continuous, requiring the assertion of one true cohesive inner self as proof of health and good citizenry. Instead goths celebrate human identity as an improvised performance, discontinuous and incessantly re-devised by stylised acts. ..[Goths] seldom rank sanity or calm among the highest aesthetic achievements.
from Gothic by Richard Davenport-Hines
Last...
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from Gothic by Richard Davenport-Hines
Last...
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robarales:
so brilliant i'm appalled
pity party's over! rainy saturday, coffee in hand and all is good again. 
gonna spend the day reading, maybe do a little writing. I was able to successfully hold ritual Thursday night and that cleaned out a lot of the bullshit. Also picked up the DVD of School of Rock. will watch later.
Happy Viv so much better than sad Viv.
gonna spend the day reading, maybe do a little writing. I was able to successfully hold ritual Thursday night and that cleaned out a lot of the bullshit. Also picked up the DVD of School of Rock. will watch later.
Happy Viv so much better than sad Viv.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
tangledupinblue:
funny, I checked out your local events thread on the Pagan Peeps board and saw the Enchantments heads up for Ostara. I went to a Mabon there and it was kinda soothing. Very fun little play about Diana. Prolly in 2000. Small, tiny, teensy world.
doghouse_reilly:
Just wanted to say that you write an interesting journal.
Maybe it's more just the way you write it. Either way, keep it up.
Maybe it's more just the way you write it. Either way, keep it up.
I'm suffering and its all of my own doing. I dont get it. It's like my brain has turned against me. Not just my brain, but my heart and my emotions and my whole damn self.
I can't write. I can't worship my gods. I can't get happy. Where did it go?
I'm not bitchin'. I try not to do that. I'm genuinely confused. I...
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I can't write. I can't worship my gods. I can't get happy. Where did it go?
I'm not bitchin'. I try not to do that. I'm genuinely confused. I...
Read More
Many man believes himself the master of others, and yet is a greater slave than they. The master's autocracy is only theoretical, in that his dependence on the slave leads to his enslavement.
- from Gothic by Richard Davenport-Hines
- from Gothic by Richard Davenport-Hines
robarales:
what part of LA did you live in? ugh i had such fun. the food was to die for. I can not eat mexican food here for a while cuz it pales in comparison. - that is an intense quote from Gothic.
rob
rob
tangledupinblue:
what's a Kim Possible? 
I've got that sickness again; I've gone and fallen for a boy.
Every time I close my eyes, I see him spread eagle flat on his stomach, naked. His hands grip the iron bed. His skin is perfect and smooth and he tastes so clean.
We talked of Wagner and military history. Fathers and ex-lovers. He played me Queensryche and insisted I listen to lyrics....
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Every time I close my eyes, I see him spread eagle flat on his stomach, naked. His hands grip the iron bed. His skin is perfect and smooth and he tastes so clean.
We talked of Wagner and military history. Fathers and ex-lovers. He played me Queensryche and insisted I listen to lyrics....
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robarales:
damn. for someone who hates love you got it bad for this boy. lucky for you i say.
tangledupinblue:
Wow, made you listen to Queensryche lyrics? I hope at least it was Operation Mindcrime! Enjoy the mojo, viv. 
"The strongest power affecting human lives is the power of other people's indifference. Most of us die not by one deadly, premeditated, focused attack, but by succumbing to the small cuts of other people's negligence. Every important episode rests on the apathy or selfishness of people who scarcely realize we exist."
From Gothic by Richard Davenport-Hines
Last night I went out and met strangers.
There...
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From Gothic by Richard Davenport-Hines
Last night I went out and met strangers.
There...
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iamtony:
i havn't met anyone interesting, but i have neglected to tell you about my martial arts training which i am going to unnegelect now. (im not even sure if that's a word)
i started studying sho lin kung fu. it's very traditional martial arts, which if you are into it, it could be great. the traditional parts that i disliked were the forms that we worked on. forms are similar to what people do in the parks. kinda slow concentrated movements that are supposed to prepare you to fight. i hated them. i was taking martial arts to relieve stress and the forms stressed me out. then after training at the gym for about a year and a 1/2 they sifo(instructor) started to really push me to compete in fighting competitions which didn't want to do. so for that and other reasons, i left that gym. for the next for years i studied mainly kick boxing w/ and emphasis on muay tai kick boxing. when i moved to new york about a year and a half ago i studied at a gym that was strictly muay tai. its defintely my favorite style. it's very direct and vicious w/ alot of elbows and knees. i have put the martial arts to the side and have been really focusing on my musical carreer lately.
when i first moved to new york i used to go out and discover the night life by myself but people are not as open to meeting a guy thats alone compared to girls, or at least i think so. i never kissed a 6 foot blonde women ever.
[Edited on Feb 22, 2004 5:57PM]
i started studying sho lin kung fu. it's very traditional martial arts, which if you are into it, it could be great. the traditional parts that i disliked were the forms that we worked on. forms are similar to what people do in the parks. kinda slow concentrated movements that are supposed to prepare you to fight. i hated them. i was taking martial arts to relieve stress and the forms stressed me out. then after training at the gym for about a year and a 1/2 they sifo(instructor) started to really push me to compete in fighting competitions which didn't want to do. so for that and other reasons, i left that gym. for the next for years i studied mainly kick boxing w/ and emphasis on muay tai kick boxing. when i moved to new york about a year and a half ago i studied at a gym that was strictly muay tai. its defintely my favorite style. it's very direct and vicious w/ alot of elbows and knees. i have put the martial arts to the side and have been really focusing on my musical carreer lately.
when i first moved to new york i used to go out and discover the night life by myself but people are not as open to meeting a guy thats alone compared to girls, or at least i think so. i never kissed a 6 foot blonde women ever.
[Edited on Feb 22, 2004 5:57PM]
tangledupinblue:
I met a few folks Saturday night, but I don't really remember them that well. Not that I was drunk or anything, just thinking really deep thoughts.
I am reading "As Meat Loves Salt" by Maria McCann. It is about the Bad Angel, the love that wants to possess, that shows itself in rage, that cannot share lest it lose its rightful dominion. It is about the love that is the Devil on your back and in your loins. It is the kind of love that destroys all who partake of it....
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tangledupinblue:
A fitting love story for our time is definitely nostalgic.
nightknight:
a fitting love story for our time...
One that takes place against a forbidden backdrop...one that ends unresolved so that the reader will actually have things to think about upon completing the story...
Nightknight
www.nightknight.net
www.scarednakedmagazine.com
One that takes place against a forbidden backdrop...one that ends unresolved so that the reader will actually have things to think about upon completing the story...
Nightknight
www.nightknight.net
www.scarednakedmagazine.com
Long days and pleasant nights.