I spent a week in a VA mental ward and was released this past Wednesday. The previous 2,3,or so weeks, I was being swallowed up by depression. It was caused by a number of things. I had a PTSD relapse this past July 4th (brought me back to Iraq 😞), broke up with my gf who gave me the silent treatment (that broke me down hard), having toxic people try to come back in my life, and allowed benign topics get under my skin.
Before I knew it, my sleep was shit, nightmares of Iraq and suicide plagued my mind, and classes weren’t fun anymore.
I wasn’t just thinking of suicide, I was glorifying it. Would I do it in private? Would I do it for all to see? Would I write a note? Whom would I call out? I was through crying and feeling like shit—I just wanted it to end.
I realized, then, I needed help. I feel better now. I have doctors I trust, meds that will help, and a support system I’m lucky to have.
🖤💜🍑