I did not think that Putin would start a war (namely Putin, because the citizens of Russia are against the war). I experience so many strong feelings: anxiety, fear, incomprehension, what is the meaning of this war (more precisely, I understand, I wanted to write a blog about Russian politics, but today I can’t, my thoughts are chaotic, and my hands are shaking) and I feel shame. I was born in Russia, I have been living here for 31 years, but today I am ashamed that I am Russian. I don’t understand how in the modern world one can show one’s toughness with a war, I believe that countries should compete in living standards, economic growth, the quality of education and medicine.
The airport does not work in my city, because we are close to Ukraine, the ATMs have run out of cash. Those who go to rallies against the war are immediately arrested. I am against the war, but I am afraid to go to a rally, because I understand that I can be beaten and arrested. I fear that the war will become even more violent. I'm afraid that I won't be able to leave Russia (all my hard work in the last 10 months in order to be able to move to another country). I don't want the civilized world to think that Russian authorities = Russian citizens. No. The Russian government does not represent the interests of its citizens and does not ask for opinions. I will definitely write why this happened in a few days.
