Well, It's tuesday. Getting back into the swing of things at work has been hell. It's made me realise just how "golden" free time really is. I hope to apprieceate my free time alittle more.
And nope that's not one of my New Year's resolutions. But I do hope that it all falls into place if I keep my promises to myself. This year calls to be a year of change. This year I need a make-over. This year I have resolved to keep my resolutions! This year I didn't have to go searching around for a resolution either... This year they hit me in the face.
And now that I am stating them out loud and for all the world to read, I am making them official. For the year of 2006 I am resolving to regain my sobriety and to achieve balance. Sobriety+Balance=A Happier Me (at least that's what I hope
) It has been all to easy for me to fall into the trap that second shift lays for me. I would come home feeling isolated only to desire a chemical alteration. And every evening I would soon drink and smoke (if avaliable) myself to sleep. This routine usually ends in an insomnia of sorts for me, where sleep alludes me until I could drink myself to slumber. Pacing the empty house... surfing the net...
And then if I happened to find myself in a social setting I realised that I had begun to take drinking too lightly. Drinking at every family function, every social gathering, and then without a care in the world... driving home. I do not feel as though I have too much of a problem, but I do feel like it was quickly getting there. The romance of having an addiction was playing all to often in my mind, like a sirens song. I have now been sober for all of four days. 2006 in it's entirety. And every day I have felt the monkey on my back. The quiet yearning for a beer.
Yup this year I hope to fall in love with life again. I have resolved that if I can't be creative and inspired with out being manic, depressed, and drunk, then I don't need to be an artist. I'll move on with my life. But before I give up I'm using this year as a test.
And nope that's not one of my New Year's resolutions. But I do hope that it all falls into place if I keep my promises to myself. This year calls to be a year of change. This year I need a make-over. This year I have resolved to keep my resolutions! This year I didn't have to go searching around for a resolution either... This year they hit me in the face.
And now that I am stating them out loud and for all the world to read, I am making them official. For the year of 2006 I am resolving to regain my sobriety and to achieve balance. Sobriety+Balance=A Happier Me (at least that's what I hope
) It has been all to easy for me to fall into the trap that second shift lays for me. I would come home feeling isolated only to desire a chemical alteration. And every evening I would soon drink and smoke (if avaliable) myself to sleep. This routine usually ends in an insomnia of sorts for me, where sleep alludes me until I could drink myself to slumber. Pacing the empty house... surfing the net...
And then if I happened to find myself in a social setting I realised that I had begun to take drinking too lightly. Drinking at every family function, every social gathering, and then without a care in the world... driving home. I do not feel as though I have too much of a problem, but I do feel like it was quickly getting there. The romance of having an addiction was playing all to often in my mind, like a sirens song. I have now been sober for all of four days. 2006 in it's entirety. And every day I have felt the monkey on my back. The quiet yearning for a beer.
Yup this year I hope to fall in love with life again. I have resolved that if I can't be creative and inspired with out being manic, depressed, and drunk, then I don't need to be an artist. I'll move on with my life. But before I give up I'm using this year as a test.
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[Edited on Jan 27, 2006 12:00AM]