violet

oh oh, I just read the one you posted earlier
That just sucks indeed! I've been on that boat. Not quite the same though... But it was a strange toxic situation for boths of us in different times. First for him, then for me, and finally for both at the same time.

It's silly for me to say "dun worry, things will get better", when you already know it's not (at least not for both of you together). But I do hope you get completely over it and that it doesn't harm you any more.

P.S. I know I've never ever talked 2 u here, but your post got me attached.


xoxo
*~Karito~*

Reminds me of Kevin Spacey's monologue towards the end of American Beauty, "Remember those posters that say "Today is the first day of the rest of your life? Well that's true of every day except one: the day you die."

I know what you mean by toxic. Every time I've ended a relationship (or had it ended for me!) where we've kept some kind of contact, sex, whatever going, I begin to resent myself and the other person. I miss the good times we had, and when I have sex there's some kind of relationship, or I think there is. Having sex with an ex gives me a false sense of relationship. I begin to regret, I get angry, and then I start to hate. I think hate caused cancer; in your body and in your soul. Toxic.

If spending any time with your ex is causing you to hate, maybe it's best to stop spending time with the ex. I know that not being able to be with the one you love will hurt, but hating and regretting will only hurt more in the long run. Take the Star Wars philosophy, for example. Master Yoda is pretty wise for being a fictional character. (I refuse to attribute too much to George Lucas.) "Anger leads to hate, hate leads to the Dark Side."

Violet, don't join the Dark Side.