life is good... am very happy with my current situation minus the bad money problems and the fact i'm way behind on bills. I really like this one boy who I have been dating for about 2.5 months now. He's great, scandalous as hell, but great. It is the one thing that I hate about him and is one of those qualities that always keeps me guessing, which i kind of like. I like it because I am that way too, I am pretty scandalous myself just a little bit more discreet, I think.
I have some serious trust issues though. I mean I don't think he would go out and cheat on me persay, but I wouldn't be surprised if he is tempted and/or might during the beginning months of our relationship. He is a total lover I think, and when he falls in love he does so wholeheartily, but in the beginning I believe he may not be emotionally invested enough to be 100% committed to anyone. To me this means he doesn't give his heart too easily, which is a good thing. So we're kind of in that zone right now, where he likes me and is committed but is not too emotionally invested. I feel the same way. I do think there is potential for us to get serious in the future, but right now my lack of trust is my defense mechanism, cause I am not really willing to be put in a position to get hurt.
On the other hand, I do think that sometimes he behaves inappropriately and has had a couple of incidences of being disrespectful. (at a party, He followed a girl (who had a crush on him) to her car to "drink whiskey" and I caught him smacking this girl on the ass (as she asked him to) when she was bending over in the car to get the whiskey out.) It was funny at first because I know he was being playful and I would have totally done or asked the same thing of any of my guy friends, but what bothered me later was that if he knew a girl liked him, (and he did because we had talked about it right before he went outside,) than he should have thought of how it might look to me to disappear with her, and how it might appear disrespectful to me to smack her on the ass when I am not around. If they are blatenly being silly in front of me no big deal, but to do it alone at a car and to have me catch him, when I knew they were up to doing something (which was flirting even more when I wasn't around) is just scandalous and overly flirtatious which looks to anyone on the outside looking in that something more could happen, regardless of what his intentions are going out to the car. The other thing that bothers me is all I can think is if he would do something like that when I am at a party, and he knows I am on the premises, what is he doing when I am not around at all? I would like to believe he is thinking of me, but I know that may not always be the case.
Aside from the occasional flirting with girls in front of me, I also believe that he wants to leave his myspace status "single" so that he can flirt with girls or maintain good relationships with ex girlfriends who might not be so nice to him if he was in a relationship.. I really don't mind all that much because I know how rad I am, and how I am kind of hard to replace, and generally having hot people message you with propositions is just part of the fun of myspace, (i know because I get 10 emails a day and they amuse me and build connfidence like no tomorrow) and labeling something "in a relationship" is not that big of a deal at 2.5 months...if he was married or with me for a year, it would be a different story.
I also think he deserves to have his fun since he is freshly out of a serious(ly) unhealthy long term relationship, and on top of all that we are a very new relationship So I don't really care that much, since technically he really shouldn't be in a relationship at all after not having much time to get over the last girl. Sometimes frivoulous flirting can build up a weakend confidence from an ex girlfriend, and I unfortunately can only give him so much attention. It is hard though sometimes because I hope we can get to a point where the attention I give him is enough and he won't be seeking it as much from outside sources.
I mean I do my fair share of online flirting on myspace and flirting when I am out myself. In fact, I am probably even worse than him in some situations... but I try to save all of my scandalous overly flirtatious behavior for when I am out with my girlfriends, not my boyfriend.... I do such things as an ego boost all the time.
I have learned a couple lessons though, 1.) I am not going to follow him around a party when he is flirting with girls, instead I am either going to flirt with other guys or if he gets too disrespectful, I will leave the party. 2.) that i can't try to prevent these things from happening, he is going to be who he is, and I just hope for the best, and know that he really is into me and I don't really have anything to worry about.
HOwever, I am not ignoring my instincts though and if it becomes the way our relationship always is,, and i feel constantly disrespected I will probably break up with him.
Anyway, on a lighter note, there are many things that I love about him and I am having so much fun getting to know him. He is truly a sweet, fun, hilarious, creative boy, and even though I am not in love with him, I do think the potential is there. Aside from complaints above he is been one of the best boyfriends I have had thus far.
I have some serious trust issues though. I mean I don't think he would go out and cheat on me persay, but I wouldn't be surprised if he is tempted and/or might during the beginning months of our relationship. He is a total lover I think, and when he falls in love he does so wholeheartily, but in the beginning I believe he may not be emotionally invested enough to be 100% committed to anyone. To me this means he doesn't give his heart too easily, which is a good thing. So we're kind of in that zone right now, where he likes me and is committed but is not too emotionally invested. I feel the same way. I do think there is potential for us to get serious in the future, but right now my lack of trust is my defense mechanism, cause I am not really willing to be put in a position to get hurt.
On the other hand, I do think that sometimes he behaves inappropriately and has had a couple of incidences of being disrespectful. (at a party, He followed a girl (who had a crush on him) to her car to "drink whiskey" and I caught him smacking this girl on the ass (as she asked him to) when she was bending over in the car to get the whiskey out.) It was funny at first because I know he was being playful and I would have totally done or asked the same thing of any of my guy friends, but what bothered me later was that if he knew a girl liked him, (and he did because we had talked about it right before he went outside,) than he should have thought of how it might look to me to disappear with her, and how it might appear disrespectful to me to smack her on the ass when I am not around. If they are blatenly being silly in front of me no big deal, but to do it alone at a car and to have me catch him, when I knew they were up to doing something (which was flirting even more when I wasn't around) is just scandalous and overly flirtatious which looks to anyone on the outside looking in that something more could happen, regardless of what his intentions are going out to the car. The other thing that bothers me is all I can think is if he would do something like that when I am at a party, and he knows I am on the premises, what is he doing when I am not around at all? I would like to believe he is thinking of me, but I know that may not always be the case.
Aside from the occasional flirting with girls in front of me, I also believe that he wants to leave his myspace status "single" so that he can flirt with girls or maintain good relationships with ex girlfriends who might not be so nice to him if he was in a relationship.. I really don't mind all that much because I know how rad I am, and how I am kind of hard to replace, and generally having hot people message you with propositions is just part of the fun of myspace, (i know because I get 10 emails a day and they amuse me and build connfidence like no tomorrow) and labeling something "in a relationship" is not that big of a deal at 2.5 months...if he was married or with me for a year, it would be a different story.
I also think he deserves to have his fun since he is freshly out of a serious(ly) unhealthy long term relationship, and on top of all that we are a very new relationship So I don't really care that much, since technically he really shouldn't be in a relationship at all after not having much time to get over the last girl. Sometimes frivoulous flirting can build up a weakend confidence from an ex girlfriend, and I unfortunately can only give him so much attention. It is hard though sometimes because I hope we can get to a point where the attention I give him is enough and he won't be seeking it as much from outside sources.
I mean I do my fair share of online flirting on myspace and flirting when I am out myself. In fact, I am probably even worse than him in some situations... but I try to save all of my scandalous overly flirtatious behavior for when I am out with my girlfriends, not my boyfriend.... I do such things as an ego boost all the time.
I have learned a couple lessons though, 1.) I am not going to follow him around a party when he is flirting with girls, instead I am either going to flirt with other guys or if he gets too disrespectful, I will leave the party. 2.) that i can't try to prevent these things from happening, he is going to be who he is, and I just hope for the best, and know that he really is into me and I don't really have anything to worry about.HOwever, I am not ignoring my instincts though and if it becomes the way our relationship always is,, and i feel constantly disrespected I will probably break up with him.
Anyway, on a lighter note, there are many things that I love about him and I am having so much fun getting to know him. He is truly a sweet, fun, hilarious, creative boy, and even though I am not in love with him, I do think the potential is there. Aside from complaints above he is been one of the best boyfriends I have had thus far.
zoton:
Everybody deserves to flirt. It works wonders for confidence doesn't it ?