violenttortoise

Various Haikus by Violent Tortoise

Happy and Blind
My eyeball is dead
I fucking cut it now
Give me a band-aid

Meow
Beware of my cat
It eats children and midgets
And wears a sports bra

Be Thin or Die
Fitness is simple!
Lose weight and raise energy!
Give me your credit card!

Testosteroni Soup
I told my girlfriend,
Obey my rigid manhood!
Shut up, bitch, she said.

You'll have to forgive my inability to write.... and the last haiku was made up, I have no girlfriend. *Winks*