I don't really think of the new year as a landmark for anything other than changing one or two digits in year portion of the date when I write it. If I want to make a change in my life I do it when I've had the idea, I don't see the new year as anything fresh or great, today is just a Sunday and I went to work and did all the normal Sunday things I do. So maybe that's a bit cynical but I'm a realist.
I suppose this is as good a time for reflection as any though. 2011 started much the same way as 2010 did. I was living with my then fiance in flat in Birmingham we didn't have a lot of money but we were just starting out our lives together. I'd put all my personal dreams and ambitions on hold to have a go it with her and I was ok with that. We were happy together. Even so the year went by and all things considered things didn't go anywhere. We never got those better jobs, or started working towards serious career paths. We did get a nicer flat but life was stagnant. And then it ended. My marriage collapsed, I moved back to my home town and into my parents spare bedroom in what I considered at the time to be a colossal step backwards. But ya know what, it wasn't.
You see for the first time in five years I'm completely free to pursue my own ambitions. I not only have the drive but the means to achieve them. Before the end of this year I plan to have secured a job as a conversation instructor in Japan and while living over there I plan to recommit to my study of Japanese martial arts. It recently dawned on me that this wasn't just a dream anymore, it wasn't something I just talked about doing some day, this really could happen for me and very soon. And the truth is that's more exciting than anything I've had in the last five years. I'm over my break up now, I've moved on, I'm happy for the experience but I know it wasn't right for either of us and with it over and done with I'm looking at future for myself which I can be excited and proud of.
I'm not big on caring what others think of me but I sometime wonder what I'd tell people if I ever went to a high school reunion. Up until now it's been a kind of depressing thought. Not that I expect a lot of them have gone on to great things but it can't be hard to have greater success in career and love than I have. But this is a dream just on the horizon and I'm gonna run to it as fast as I can.
I suppose this is as good a time for reflection as any though. 2011 started much the same way as 2010 did. I was living with my then fiance in flat in Birmingham we didn't have a lot of money but we were just starting out our lives together. I'd put all my personal dreams and ambitions on hold to have a go it with her and I was ok with that. We were happy together. Even so the year went by and all things considered things didn't go anywhere. We never got those better jobs, or started working towards serious career paths. We did get a nicer flat but life was stagnant. And then it ended. My marriage collapsed, I moved back to my home town and into my parents spare bedroom in what I considered at the time to be a colossal step backwards. But ya know what, it wasn't.
You see for the first time in five years I'm completely free to pursue my own ambitions. I not only have the drive but the means to achieve them. Before the end of this year I plan to have secured a job as a conversation instructor in Japan and while living over there I plan to recommit to my study of Japanese martial arts. It recently dawned on me that this wasn't just a dream anymore, it wasn't something I just talked about doing some day, this really could happen for me and very soon. And the truth is that's more exciting than anything I've had in the last five years. I'm over my break up now, I've moved on, I'm happy for the experience but I know it wasn't right for either of us and with it over and done with I'm looking at future for myself which I can be excited and proud of.
I'm not big on caring what others think of me but I sometime wonder what I'd tell people if I ever went to a high school reunion. Up until now it's been a kind of depressing thought. Not that I expect a lot of them have gone on to great things but it can't be hard to have greater success in career and love than I have. But this is a dream just on the horizon and I'm gonna run to it as fast as I can.
And, love what you said about moving on. Same thing happened to me and when it was over, I was able to move on and discover more about myself.
And yeah relationships are all well and good but once you start thinking about the things"we" want then you have to put what "I" want on the back bench and that's only gonna work with the right person. So when you realise you were wrng it's better to just get on with it.