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Ladies and Gentlemen I present...

"The Mechanical Outsider"


I started this back in May 2011 and it took this long to finish. It's hard to describe something that needs so simple in detail to others that dont know its back story. After I made Inferno I felt this weight, this burden leave me, I left behind parts of me that were related to the project, parts that needed to be let go. The same idea was originally for The Mechanical Outsider but so much has happened since May; moved to a new place, new friends, lost friends, heart has been broken, heart has found new love, and my outlook on the world changed too, etc. So The Mechanical Outsider changed with me, the original story, its journey and its conclusion. I have moved on from this project and I cannot revisit it with the same attitude. I am rambling here so let me give you an overview to help you understand what I was trying to do.

An intelligent, emotionless race of mechanical aliens comes across Earth to study it and see if its suitable planet to co-exist and share with the inhabitants. An alien model #253 is assigned to be disguised as a human and gather data. Upon arrival he brings to over indulge in sex, drugs and selfish living since emotions and feelings are foreign to him and have never been embraced. The story from there is by turns sexual, stoic, violent, romantic and tragic.

Take away from it what you want, I leave it behind today.



The Mechanical Outsider

I. Perigee
II. Vessel
III. The Small Devil
IV. Self (Destructive) Control
__________________________________

V. A Moment With You
VI. Binary Flower
VII. SG
__________________________________

VIII. Broken Porcelain
IX. The Girl On Lenmoore Drive
X. The Root
XI. Room 18
__________________________________

XII. VTV
XIII. Transform
XIV. Return To Space
XV. The Mechanical Outsider
XVI. The Wait




I. Perigee





Welcome to the Earth Personification Incentive Command
Transmission for transport activated
Processing model 253 into humanistic shell
Geographical north west hemisphere locked
Intalizing mechanical outsider sequence
Entering atmosphere
Impact and oxygen collection in
Three
Two
One



II. Vessel

Black then white all I see
Breathe in air hard like infancy
Into this vessel shaped to control
Hair and nail grow I start to feel
This star burns into these new eyes
Feel the soil and wind I have arrived



III. The Small Devil

I think the devil said
"I made her just for you"
Standing in her white dress
I made love to her, love to her
Until the flowers wilted

I think she whispered
"Kiss me as if there is no tomorrow"
We kissed until the morning
The sun didn't raise
"It's past nine and the sun isn't up"
I think I said

Then the sun rised and I chased her
As her White hair and torn dress blew in the wind
She ran into the arms of the devil
"She's had fun but you're not new anymore"
I think the devil said
"I'm so sorry but I wanted more"
I think she said

If I knew the devil was real
And she wasn't too
Maybe I wouldn't be shaking
At a table for two
In hell
"She never loved you, only used you"
I think he said.





IV. Self (Destructive) Control

From the moment I arrived
I've poisoned your mind
Penetrated you inside
Never knew it was always a lie

All the poems and lullabies
Just post-poned the quick goodbye
How a little fool to fall for my
suave covered in slime

Only wanted to be in your temple
Your mind was empty, body ample
I lift your skirt for another sample
Simply a hot flesh mantle

I'm only in it for your pussy
Dipping yourself into my web must be
Like an insect just searching for honey
My tongue in you, lovely
But once it's over it's the door for you

Don't look at me as a monster for you do it to
Simply primal creatures whose own urges make them fools
Through constellations and nebulae I have travel
And nothing compares to when I come
Leaving you as you babel

My charm and modesty just a part of the facade
Of a handsome face from outer space
Proclaim I was your prince charming
When really I was a heart break in the making



V. A Moment With You

Dreams of you ample but precious as one
Your voice is a catalyst
Eyes brighter than
Every star in the sky
Nothing more than to
Simply hold you as the world passes

In the space between a second
The distance of eternity
Knowledge of the universe
Never in belief would I ever
Love more fiercely
In this moment with you



VI. Binary Flower

She's so worshipped and beautiful too
Her presence excepte like a rising sun
She has to be there despite what's in her life
They only care enough until she blooms

Her eyes are deep as the space above you
And makes you wonder what is up
When she speaks her voice tells
A story that you never want to end

And is she really human?
Or just a goddess that's new
She's a goddess that is true
But there's more to her

A waking binary flower
Whose petals are made of gold
She lives and cries but that's the other side
She's beautiful and free but that's another side
Eyes only aimed when she blooms





VII. SG

There was a place she wanted
There was a name she gave herself
Placed in limbo for her they havent made her a god
Those around her are commented by three thousand

There was a flash a turn and a dream
There was denial and it came apart at the seams
She was looking for a reason for she was 97
Protest were in her name, days of praise
But she still wasn't allowed past limbo

If you submit and no one's watching
you drop below 96 and your forgotten
If you're bought and on the front screen
You're worshipped and a SG



VIII. Broken Porcelain

Her eyes leave like the tail lights
with me standing in the dust
She took the porcelain shaped heart
And drove past without a second glance

Two hearts beat, one beats for the other
While the other one just looks away
Or so the story says

Before she left
"Don't wait for me for I don't know
If I'll be back this way again"
She brought me this far and I cannot
simply walk the other way

I see our new beginning
Rise behind the sun
But I can never catch up to it
As fast as I can run

She said don't wait for me
So I'm still here kicking stones
Kicking stones down
The road of what was now



IX. The Girl On Lenmoore Drive

I knew my world would not be the same
Few years of laughter, few of crying
But most years were silent.
I remembered a mechanical emotion
that grew flesh as the gears shut down
To presuade her I took on a role
A hollow messiah, a collector of her damages
She left in the middle of my transformation
In the midst of her exodus my kingdom
Of pixel towers fell into the lonely sea
Swallowed up by the mouth of greed
I suppose it wouldn't last forever





X. The Root

I don't know why
You promised me
I don't know why
I believed you

All I wanted
Was to be your little sin
Now I'm displaying immolation
Close my eyes to make it over

I don't know why
I fell into your forsaking eyes
I don't know why
Nobody told me forever hurts like this

I sent you my heart or what was left inside
And you abandoned me after you planted yourself under my skin
The closer I get to you the more it hurts



XI. Room 18

Sind Sie der Doktor?
Kein bin ich Krankenschwester, wie Sie tun Sie Gefhl?
Ich versuche zu sich tten
Warum?
sie war mein alles, schn wie ein engel
Ich bin traurig
das ist, was sie sagte
Brunnen tun sie haben Sie irgendwelche Familie oder Freunde?
kein war sie alle, die ich hatte. Werden ich berleben Sie?
Sie verloren viel Blut aber Sie heien gut.
Kein werde ich nicht





XII. VTV

Even as a machine
I can see you're dead
Plugged to a surrogate mother
Created by you, for you

Disintegrating there minds
Desensitized there hearts
Digesting the talentless
Fighting to the troths

It sinks in as it atrophys
Tightens it collar until they bleed
Choking until they present oxygen
Starts all over again

Pity them for they never knew
That were in the web all along
May their children have mercy
On there fragile and stubborn hearts
Forgive them for all they've ever done
For there just electronically numb





XIII. Transform

Is there someone channeling this signal?
For this assignment
is too great
Remove this skin return
My familiar metal shell
Strip these feelings
For they irritate

I want to get out of here
I'm drowning in this fear
Heartbreak pieces
on the road like broken glass
I don't understand this place
Erase these memories
Of her from inner space
Transform myself
So I'm somebody else

I stumble in this body
As if the bones
disintegrated
She like love is far and gone
Falling in the street
Where I heard her voice
And the rain falls like bullets

I can never get out of here
This anchor pulls me further
Choking in tears
Like a child drowning in a pool
Too eager to sign up to play the fool
Scratching until it bleeds
The images she's implanted
I cannot delete
And the system is down





XIV. Return To Space

Again on the rectangular god
Genocides, false heroes and human disintegrations
Open communications on all channels
I think it's time to leave.

I dream of the constellations
A lack of attachment to superficial sensations
Was this all to see how two feet insects live?
Earth is a prison where death is the only escape

Plugged into your Ethernet feeding tube
You all grow weaker as your hunger grows larger
Greed pumps in your veins and the heart is dry

It sickens me to watch you
For all you do is lie
Building up arms to see who the first to die
Even though I came here to be one of you
All I do now is hate you
Fuck this place!
Oh how I long to return to space.

Slaughtering children with machetes
Your Gods manufacture tomorrow's killers
But not before Marvin drives his killdozer
As a blind man holding a pulled grenade
You cannot see the destruction that will be laid
Killing over one rock when there's millions more

Politicians talk into they turn blue
Destroyed lives over a green hue
Space is boundless in time
But you cannot stop drawing lines in the sand
Ignore the poor until its time for another war
This planet is a prison and youre not ready

Build up the walls with your egos
Until you can't see anything but yourself
Wasting the talented in favor of the famous
Just finish each other and quicken this charade
When this whole damned world is dead
You will have your fucking peace.







XV. The Mechanical Outsider



We have responded to your signal and reviewed your claim to rejoin
Your experiences have made us determine that Earth is not a planet
Where we could live co-peacefully among it's human race
As with your application to have return to your metallic existence
Our laws and values have been examined and we say this;

"The emotions and cognitive memories you have created
Are highly irrational and psychologically deranged.
We cannot risk an infection or spread of illogical emotion
Our survival across the universe has been attributed to the absent
Of uncompromising love and all it's substitutions. We depart with you
And leave you here on Earth. Your sacrifice will be recorded and you
Will be remembered as The Mechanical Outsider."





XVI. The Wait

I close my eyes to pretend youre nearer
Re-wired my touch to be your fingers
The space between us is farther
Than the Earth to the stars

I did not want to return for youre not here
But the universe says I'm perfect for this world
Want to call you my queen but its banality
Unsuccessfully coping with the segregation

The constellations are far away
Earth is where I must stay
You're a million miles away
I cannot wish I was even anybody else

The anticipation itches until it bleeds
All the stars are devoid of their colors
The days rotate too soon and the sun never shows
And I told myself it wouldn't matter anymore

Been here before but never this quiet
Was I doomed from the start?
The sky is starting to close and all I think of is you
When the end comes I am ready to go









Thank you for your time and patience .